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I am down to 6 kids. No helper. I thought that would take care of so much of my stress. Nope. I still don't get a break because some of the kids rotate thru not sleeping, instead screaming and waking everyone else up, then everyone is so freaking crabby the rest of the day. My two boys are the worst. I am going to have to look for a daycare for them if I am going to continue. They do not understand quiet, apparently. Especially my 11 year old. I think if we had him tested, he He does nothing. My 13 year old is lazy and selfish. If I can't get my own family to respect me, how do I expect that my daycare kids or their parents will? One of my daycare parents dropped off their kid ON THEIR VACATION week and expected that I would watch him for free. He is a screamer, I wouldn't watch him for free for ONE minute. OMG. I am about to lose my mind! All the babies and toddlers are screaming and I still have an hour to go! How do I change any of this???? I have tried for years to get help from my husband, and it will help for a week and then he goes back to his old ways. I am thinking I may have to ask him to leave. If I am going to do it all, I would rather not have him to clean up after too. UGH. I need a break!
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I've been there, I'm there now, going to be there in the future. I don't mind cleaning house but I do mind being a maid.
I've told my hubby that I can't balance business/family. I can do one or the other but I find it difficult to do both. I either do real well with the family part and the business part suffers or vise versa.
Now that my kids are older I've really contemplated going back to work because I want to come home and enjoy my home. I also want to leave work at work. I'm home all day but can never really get anything done and I'm very frustrated. I feel like I can constantly work but no one else feels they need to.
Sorry for hijacking but I'm with you on this. So I guess my question is would you want or be able to quit childcare and go back into the outside work force? It sounds as if your kids are older and wouldn't need you home all the time. You have had a rough year also like me and I can tell you it zaps everything from you. I've looked at other jobs but I can't afford to take a 25-50% pay cut right now so thats not an option for me.
Its very hard to have a childcare and family in the same house!Each day is a fresh start
Never look back on regrets
Live life to the fullest
We only get one shot at this!!
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I still have one younger one, age 6, at home. I wanted to do this until all of my kids were old enough to be home on their own, so that it didn't put too much responsibility on the older child to care for the younger (in case of after school sports or what not). So I feel stuck. And like you said, to take a pay cut wouldn't be worth it. I keep hoping and praying that I will just win the lottery!Comment
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Does your husband have a space that's all his own? He can make it junky if he wants, or keep it tidy if he wants. A place that won't effect your business at all (a man cave of sorts). Perhaps that would help?
As for your children. 11 and 13-year-olds are both old enough to have consequences. If they aren't being respectful, they lose something. Things like a closet full of clothing, video game systems and television, and even a bedroom door are not a right. They are earned. If they can't be respectful, start removing items one at a time. They can survive just fine with a bed, 5 plain t-shirts, plain underwear, 2 pairs of pants, 5 pairs of socks, and 1 pair of shoes in their bedroom (without a door). If they run out of clothing? Better learn how to launder your own clothing (write the instructions up, add pictures, laminate, and tape it to the washer). We are a Christian family and often quote the 5th Commandment "Honor your Father and Mother." It's a big deal here (and to God). Disrespect from kids would not fly around here.
I'm not saying your expectations are unrealistic, they're actually the same expectations I have for my own family. But, if your family is refusing to comply with your expectations then something has to give.Comment
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Absolutely. Disrespect doesn't fly around here either and leads directly to a consequence.
You need to show your children and husband that you will not put up with their attitudes and unhelpful ways. A family works together, not against eachother. Put your foot down. Good luck.Comment
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I'm a Mom in her early 20's (husband in late 20's) who adopted a teenager. I refuse to be disrespected even though it's a small age gap between my son and I. Please stand up for yourself.Comment
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Not getting a break throughout the day is tough. Are there any summer camps/day camps that you could get your kids into? Maybe just a few days out of the house and away from the daycare will help.
On the other hand, the lack of respect from your kids is probably playing a big role in the stress factor. I was a VERY disrespectful pre-teen/teenager. I kept being disrespectful because it was allowed. I'm not saying you are allowing it, but they may be doing it because the consequences aren't enough to make them change. When my dad FINALLY put his foot down, it was the best thing for me. Don't get me wrong, after getting away with it for 2 years when he put his foot down I escalated big time. He stood firm and eventually I realized it wasn't a battle I was going to win.
At one point and time I had a mattress (no sheet, no frame) and a change of clothes in my room. That was it. I got a new change of clothes each day. I didn't choose what I got to wear, that was a priviledge that was earned. Bed frame, sheets, pillows, blankets were all earned (it was summer so the blanket thing wasn't a big deal). Door to the room, able to leave the house, see friends, etc. it was all learned. Disruptive behavior at the table = being excused from the table and being done eating.
I'm not saying you need to be THAT strict, but many many things are priviledges, not a right. As far as your husband goes, I don't have any advice--I'm not married so I can't speak to that part of the dynamic.Comment
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