Conflicted Feelings About Termed Child Being Termed Again

[Unregistered]

So I had a DCB that I had to term at the end of May. I tried my hardest with that boy and hung in for almost a year hoping that the next thing I tried would work for him. Eventually his behavioir got physical and with total denial from the parents I had to term.

We have a few friends in common and I had heard he'd been termed from his new place after two weeks. Today I was told he'd been termed from the next place after three weeks. Worst part is the parents are still in denial and say they just havnt found the right place for him yet!

I'm feeling really badly for thinking not so nice thoughts about the parents and how badly they treated me at the end and how they tried to blame his behavioir on me.

Just a vent

[cheerfuldom]

It is very hard to admit that something is wrong with your child or with your parenting style. I hope that at some point, they will see the mistakes made and do the right thing in addressing the issues. Either way, you did everything you could and obviously made the right choice in terming him. I have had the same situation where the child is termed from multiple places and the parents arent really seeing what the issue is, no matter who is saying what.

[Mary Poppins]

That is so sad! I've had to term for aggressive behaviors and never because I wasn't willing to help the child work through them, but because the parents weren't willing to help me help the child work through them.

I have a little guy now who has been termed from a few dc's apparently and I am thankful that his mom is open to working with me and is very aware of his issues (non-violent) and is herself looking for answers.

Having a parent in denial changes everything. So does having one who is on board.

[PolarCare]

I hear that!

I had to term my last daycare family because DCM was just a total jerk to deal with. ,It got to the point that just thinking of having to deal with her really stressed me out.

Well, come to find out, she had been termed by her day care provider right before me, AND by her provider before that! Evidently it's not just me...she's REALLY a tough cookie to work with.

It wasn't just one thing. Just seemingly a total lack of courtesy for others, and she behaved as if she didn't feel the rules applied to her. I have a handbook and a contract, and she would constantly try to skirt the rules. It just became too much. And she's the same way...EVERYTHING is someone else's problem, someone else's fault. In reality, most of her problems were directly generated by her.

[Kaddidle Care]

You'd think that after 3 or more terminations they would actually start to look in the mirror.