Leaving Child Without Seeing Provider

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Ever have a parent that just irritates you and the little things bother you that much more? I have one of those!!

Same mom that let her 4 year old son in her drivers seat with the car running in my driveway and thought it was no big deal.....and seems to let her son get away with everything (makes me sick because I have to deal with it).

Well this morning I was in my daughter's room with the door closed helping her get her clothes out for school...today is flag day and we were picking out a red/white/blue outfit for a program she is doing today. I wasn't in there for long, it was under 2 min...I come out and the boy is dropped off and mom is gone.

Um excuse me, maybe I'm overreacting BUT if I were dropping my 4 year old off at daycare, I would make sure I knew where the provider was before leaving the house. He was fine, but still, I wouldn't leave my child unless I seen the provider. She just irritates me.

[fctjc1979]

Especially since he seems to have no problem running out the door if he gets the chance. He could have been gone without anyone noticing!

[misol]

Ever have a parent that just irritates you and the little things bother you that much more? I have one of those!!

Same mom that let her 4 year old son in her drivers seat with the car running in my driveway and thought it was no big deal.....and seems to let her son get away with everything (makes me sick because I have to deal with it).

Well this morning I was in my daughter's room with the door closed helping her get her clothes out for school...today is flag day and we were picking out a red/white/blue outfit for a program she is doing today. I wasn't in there for long, it was under 2 min...I come out and the boy is dropped off and mom is gone.

Um excuse me, maybe I'm overreacting BUT if I were dropping my 4 year old off at daycare, I would make sure I knew where the provider was before leaving the house. He was fine, but still, I wouldn't leave my child unless I seen the provider. She just irritates me.

All I can say is wow! So she didn't even call out your name or anything to make sure you were there or let you know she was dropping off??!! For all she knows you could have been passed out on the bathroom floor!

I keep my door locked so that they HAVE to knock and wait for me to let them in. I can't risk strangers walking in or little ones getting out. If I am busy changing a diaper or whatever they just have to wait. Also, in the arrivals and departures section of my handbook I have:

Parents must walk their children into the house – do not send your child to the door unattended. Before you leave, please make sure that I am aware that your child is here.

You are required to sign your child in and out each day. This gives me a written record of the child's hours of attendance and who dropped off and picked up the child. A sign-in sheet, pen, and clock are located near the door for your convenience.

[Daycare Mommy]

Especially since he seems to have no problem running out the door if he gets the chance. He could have been gone without anyone noticing!

Exactly what I was thinking! If he'd marched out the door before you came out how would you know he'd ever been there? What a nightmare that could've been! I'd have words with mom at pick up time today to make sure this never happens again.

[originalkat]

Man! Some parents just don't think. That could have been very dangerous if he would have went out the door without anyone knowing.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a parent who annoys the heck out of me!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

This mom is a piece of work...well she's not a deadbeat mom so that is good, but she just doesn't think. From now on I'm locking my door. Usually I'm in the living room and ready for his arrival, but today I popped in my daughter's room for under 2 min....learning from other's stupidity here. Always something new in the daycare field.

[grandmom]

It's a safety issue. I require parents to see my face at drop off and pick up. Who knows, I could be held at gunpoint in another room, or on the floor with a heart attack.

This actually happened in a daycare near me many years ago. The provider was killed during the night in her room. School kids were dropped off and went to school on their own before anyone found the woman. I think you are right, parents just don't think about the safety issues.

I was the same way when my children were young and they wanted me to drop them off at the street of a friend's home. Nope. I'm going to look that parent in the eye when I leave you in someone else's home. They hated it as kids. But I at least knew who was there when my kid was there.

[professionalmom]

You really need to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. This was very neglectful on her part. Although it probably doesn't cross the line to warrant a call to CPS, for Pete's sake, keep a journal of everything this mother does. Actually, it probably wouldn't hurt to call licensing or CPS just to inquire about some of her behavior (not make a report), to see when it would cross that fine line.

She is teetering very close to child endangerment and you need to make sure her actions do not come back to bite YOU in the a**.

The reason for excellent documentation is what if he did run out before you were aware that he was there and then he got hurt or killed? She would be telling the authorities that you failed to properly supervise him. But if you have a journal detailing everything she has done that was questionable or neglectful, you will have much more credibility. Plus, CPS would have documentation that you called to ask, "Hey, here's a situation ... is this something that needs to be reported or am I being paranoid?" If they say you need to report it (any situation you ask about), do so. If not, great, continue documenting, etc. Then when a situation does occur, CPS will have a record that you called about a situation (corroborates your journal) and were told it's not worth reporting. But at least you have someone who can prove that your journal is accurate and that you have been concerned in the past.

I just can't believe that a known stranger (non-family member - you) and unknown strangers (those of us on this website) are more concerned about this child's safety and welfare than the woman who created him and gave him life!! It almost sounds like she is setting up situations for him TO get hurt so she won't have to deal with him anymore. This is appalling!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

You really need to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. This was very neglectful on her part. Although it probably doesn't cross the line to warrant a call to CPS, for Pete's sake, keep a journal of everything this mother does. Actually, it probably wouldn't hurt to call licensing or CPS just to inquire about some of her behavior (not make a report), to see when it would cross that fine line.

She is teetering very close to child endangerment and you need to make sure her actions do not come back to bite YOU in the a**.

The reason for excellent documentation is what if he did run out before you were aware that he was there and then he got hurt or killed? She would be telling the authorities that you failed to properly supervise him. But if you have a journal detailing everything she has done that was questionable or neglectful, you will have much more credibility. Plus, CPS would have documentation that you called to ask, "Hey, here's a situation ... is this something that needs to be reported or am I being paranoid?" If they say you need to report it (any situation you ask about), do so. If not, great, continue documenting, etc. Then when a situation does occur, CPS will have a record that you called about a situation (corroborates your journal) and were told it's not worth reporting. But at least you have someone who can prove that your journal is accurate and that you have been concerned in the past.

I just can't believe that a known stranger (non-family member - you) and unknown strangers (those of us on this website) are more concerned about this child's safety and welfare than the woman who created him and gave him life!! It almost sounds like she is setting up situations for him TO get hurt so she won't have to deal with him anymore. This is appalling!

Thank you so much for this documentation reminder! I am sometimes bad about that because I get busy with many other things...thank goodness I have this board that I vent on so I can remember dates!! Off to document!!

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I would have called her at home, about 20 min after she was due,.. then at work when she didnt answer asking if he was staying somewhere else for the day....... when she freaked hearing you didnt have him,.. I would say,.. yeah and thats just the fear that went thru my heart when I walked in the room and saw him alone,.... how did you know I hadnt stepped out for 10 min? Why would you just drop him without knowing he was actively supervised? what if I had fallen and been unable to care for him????? dont ever do that again!

[mismatchedsocks]

I am paranoid and my door is always locked. I do have a few families I can see doing this. One is a boy I have that is dropped at street, runs to door, family leaves when I see them. Its ok now, since he is 7 and been here for 4 years, but back in the day I MADE them walk up. Some parents. Wow

[professionalmom]

I would have called her at home, about 20 min after she was due,.. then at work when she didnt answer asking if he was staying somewhere else for the day....... when she freaked hearing you didnt have him,.. I would say,.. yeah and thats just the fear that went thru my heart when I walked in the room and saw him alone,.... how did you know I hadnt stepped out for 10 min? Why would you just drop him without knowing he was actively supervised? what if I had fallen and been unable to care for him????? dont ever do that again!

Brilliant idea!!!:: Sure, she'll hate that you tricked her and treated her like an irresponsible child, but hey, she shouldn't have acted like an irresponsible child in need of correction ...

[MarinaVanessa]

I would have called her at home, about 20 min after she was due,.. then at work when she didnt answer asking if he was staying somewhere else for the day....... when she freaked hearing you didnt have him,.. I would say,.. yeah and thats just the fear that went thru my heart when I walked in the room and saw him alone,.... how did you know I hadnt stepped out for 10 min? Why would you just drop him without knowing he was actively supervised? what if I had fallen and been unable to care for him????? dont ever do that again!

Love it!! reminds of when my daughter misplaces or leaves something expensive or important like her iTouch and I find it. I hide it and let her believe that it's lost. Teaches her the importance of being responsible. I love this idea. That's one to log in my memory bank.

[Lucy]

I have 2 kids who's drop-off person does this. Fortunately, neither of them are coming for the summer, and might not come next school year either.

One is a 1st grade boy. He lives with grandparents and 16 yr-old uncle (the grandparents' son). Grandma & Grandpa both have to leave for work by 6am, so 16yr old drives 7 yr old to my house. 16 yr old parks in street, 7 yr old gets out and as he is walking toward the house, 16 yr old drives off!!! I've called Grandma several times to say that there are times her grandson is the 1st one here, and maybe I've overslept, or am running my blow-dryer or something and wouldn't hear him knocking. As a side note, he's not scheduled for Fridays, but about 4 times during the school year, he was dropped off on a Friday. Fortunately I was here and able to care for him, but what if I had taken the day off? Uncle would have been down the street before 7 yr old realized nobody was home!! Naturally I told Grandma and she just laughs off her scatterbrain for not calling me the night before as we discussed she should do.

Other one is 10 yr old girl. Mom is always running late. Sometimes bringing her AT the time she's supposed to start work. Same story... girl gets out and mom is gone before girl reaches front door. Difference is... she comes at 8am instead of 6:30am like the 7 yr old boy. By 8:00, my curtains are open and she can see us inside. However, it's still not safe.

If either of these 2 were going to remain here during the summer, I definitely would have made it more clear that they have to at least see me wave to them from the door before they drive off. Maybe I should make it part of my manual that they have to bring them in. Thanks for the suggestion.

[professionalmom]

I have 2 kids who's drop-off person does this. Fortunately, neither of them are coming for the summer, and might not come next school year either.

One is a 1st grade boy. He lives with grandparents and 16 yr-old uncle (the grandparents' son). Grandma & Grandpa both have to leave for work by 6am, so 16yr old drives 7 yr old to my house. 16 yr old parks in street, 7 yr old gets out and as he is walking toward the house, 16 yr old drives off!!! I've called Grandma several times to say that there are times her grandson is the 1st one here, and maybe I've overslept, or am running my blow-dryer or something and wouldn't hear him knocking. As a side note, he's not scheduled for Fridays, but about 4 times during the school year, he was dropped off on a Friday. Fortunately I was here and able to care for him, but what if I had taken the day off? Uncle would have been down the street before 7 yr old realized nobody was home!! Naturally I told Grandma and she just laughs off her scatterbrain for not calling me the night before as we discussed she should do.

Other one is 10 yr old girl. Mom is always running late. Sometimes bringing her AT the time she's supposed to start work. Same story... girl gets out and mom is gone before girl reaches front door. Difference is... she comes at 8am instead of 6:30am like the 7 yr old boy. By 8:00, my curtains are open and she can see us inside. However, it's still not safe.

If either of these 2 were going to remain here during the summer, I definitely would have made it more clear that they have to at least see me wave to them from the door before they drive off. Maybe I should make it part of my manual that they have to bring them in. Thanks for the suggestion.

I can actually see the 16 yr old uncle being that irresponsible - he's a teenager. Not that I'm defending him, just stating the obvious: teens are notorious for being irresponsible and not making the best decisions. But the other one involves the mom! Seriously, what mother would just drive off without making sure her precious, most prized, priceless possession is safe and secure? Actually, when I give ANYONE, even an adult, a ride somewhere, I don't drive off until they open the door, turn around, and wave that they are in. And that's for adults that I am not even related to!