Terming

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I've had a family here for several months that goes through cycles of policy rule breaking. They aren't apologetic or nice. They're argumentative and bossy.

Another policy was broken (concerning payment), and I am done. I believe I've seen it here that even when there is a lengthy list of reasons to term it's best to write a simple and short letter. I'm perfectly fine with that.
What I'm wondering is, what do you do when the parent calls repeatedly, leaves messages, e-mails, texts, and demands explanation? This has been a common theme in the past, and I don't see the behavior changing once I term (by giving a 2 weeks notice).

[Blackcat31]

Do you mean that you are terming them but expect that they will more than likely harass you and demand an explanation?

If that is the case, I woud include in the term letter that you have made your decision to term and will not be offering any additional information to them and will expect them to not contact you again regarding the issue....something to that effect....kwim?

I think if you are proactive right off, it might stop the issue.

[cheerfuldom]

Write the termination letter with a deadline of the last day of care. If they withdraw immediately, let it end (I dont try and make them pay for the last two weeks if I term them). Make sure they get all their stuff. Block numbers and emails if necessary and do not respond to the harassment. If they continue to keep trying to contact you once care is ended (say past a few days), I would follow up with a cease and desist letter sent by certified mail.

[MrsB]

LOL, I have had this family in the past too! :::: They called and left about 15 messages/emails in less than an 8 hour period after I termed them. They kept demanding a written letter stipulating all the reasons I termed them and wanted me to have it notorized. I just called her and said, read your contract, I gave you two weeks notice and I dont have to give you a reason nor does the reason need to be in writing or notorized. But, if you would really like to know the 15 messages you just left me and the failure to comply with all the policies might help you understand. I wish you the best, but please do not contact me any further"

I was positive she was going to call and report me for something so I called my licensing spe******t just to give her a heads up and to tell her if she kept trying to contact me, I was going to file harrassment charges and in case she decided she wanted to stop by I had my neighbor who was the police chief have a couple of officers make a drive by a couple times a day! Nothing ever came about it.

[texascare]

Mrs

I hope I uploaded the document right. I don't write a letter I use this form.....

[Springdaze]

In general why wouldnt you let the family know why they were being termed? they should already know anyway. If its behavior, you have already talked to them. money? pay or the child cant come back, etc. I guess if you dont give a reason, they cant argue, but I would think they would have an idea it was coming.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Do you mean that you are terming them but expect that they will more than likely harass you and demand an explanation?

If that is the case, I woud include in the term letter that you have made your decision to term and will not be offering any additional information to them and will expect them to not contact you again regarding the issue....something to that effect....kwim?

I think if you are proactive right off, it might stop the issue.

Yes. Harassment is very common for this family, and it is mentally draining to deal with calls/texts up until 2:00AM. We have discussions at least once a month about why XYZ is unacceptable and why XYZ is now happening because of that. Things are fine for a small frame of time, and then something else happens and the cycle starts over again.

The one negative to doing this is that they are a big presence in our very small community. However, I can no longer just **** it up.

[spud912]

I hope I uploaded the document right. I don't write a letter I use this form.....

Great form! I think I might re-word and use something similar in the future.

[Blackcat31]

Yes. Harassment is very common for this family, and it is mentally draining to deal with calls/texts up until 2:00AM.

The one negative to doing this is that they are a big presence in our very small community. However, I can no longer just **** it up.

Ugh, that is a tough one.

Ya know, I would be inclined to maybe draft up a term letter (I'd use the one texascare posted) and include with it a confidentiallity type form saying that they understand they are being termed and will not go on to harass or badmouth you

.....ya know, some sort of exit form that basically protects you. So even if they do go on to try and continually contact you, there is aleast some sort of leg for you to stand on if you should end up having to contact the authorities.

Plus if they sign it, and then go around badmouthing you, there will also be some sort of route you can take since they agreed to leave without the hoopla they are "known" for causing.

[Kiki]

Ugh, that is a tough one.

Ya know, I would be inclined to maybe draft up a term letter (I'd use the one texascare posted) and include with it a confidentiallity type form saying that they understand they are being termed and will not go on to harass or badmouth you

.....ya know, some sort of exit form that basically protects you. So even if they do go on to try and continually contact you, there is aleast some sort of leg for you to stand on if you should end up having to contact the authorities.

Plus if they sign it, and then go around badmouthing you, there will also be some sort of route you can take since they agreed to leave without the hoopla they are "known" for causing.

That's probably the best route to go down.

Also why in the boogers is the forum blanking out the word s p e c i a l i s t? Is it a naughty word I'm not associated with?!

[Willow]

I don't understand the point in not telling them why.

If you tell them that you haven't appreciated their hostility, rudeness, or their deliberate breaking of your rules they contracted to what could they possibly tell other people that they probably don't already know? Let them go running their mouth to others about how awful you thought they were. It actually might spare another provider from taking them on in the future and spare your reputation if these people are as loud mouthed as it sounds.

[MizzCheryl]

Yes. Harassment is very common for this family, and it is mentally draining to deal with calls/texts up until 2:00AM. We have discussions at least once a month about why XYZ is unacceptable and why XYZ is now happening because of that. Things are fine for a small frame of time, and then something else happens and the cycle starts over again.

The one negative to doing this is that they are a big presence in our very small community. However, I can no longer just **** it up.

Okay I know all about that. Small town here too. The family I termed called or tracked down every one of my DCFamilies. But who cares, they told lies and all my families just listened and rolled their eyes. They don't wanna lose a good thing and they love their child being in my daycare.
The way to go is NO CONTACT!!! It is the only way to handle psychos. You term and then be done. Do not answer the phone, texts emails.... If you can don't even listen to or read them. The ones that were left to me were threatening so I recorded them in case I needed them but Didn't listen if I could help it. If you don't feed the behavior it will stop. My husband wanted to take out a warrant but I convinced him to just let it blow over. That was best because we didn't have to go to court and all that mess. No Contact, just be done and do not let the poison in your life. Yeah I see them out at the store and all but they just flip me off. Who cares. The husband was 6'9" and 300 lbs. He was very intimidating.

[MizzCheryl]

I don't understand the point in not telling them why.

If you tell them that you haven't appreciated their hostility, rudeness, or their deliberate breaking of your rules they contracted to what could they possibly tell other people that they probably don't already know? Let them go running their mouth to others about how awful you thought they were. It actually might spare another provider from taking them on in the future and spare your reputation if these people are as loud mouthed as it sounds.

When they break rules all the time they should know why you termed them. They just wanna argue and harass.

That is a good point. When people come to me downing other providers in a hostile way I get out of the interview as quick as possible. Thats a deal breaker.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

If I give them a reason then they argue.
I restate my Parent Handbook, but it still causes me a lot of stress in the process. I have no issue with clearing up any confusion a parent has about the Parent Handbook. But, this is arguing about the same policies repeatedly. Someone in their family enjoys being "The Boss" and does not like that I am the boss of my business. It has been a struggle for awhile now.

They have not come today, contacted me in any manner, nor have they paid their bi-weekly tuition (it was due by Monday morning). They are obligated to provide a written 2 weeks notice if they are discontinuing care.
I have a sneaky suspicion that I am being "punished" for not providing an extra day of care for free.

I have printed the term form that you provided and filled it out. I am considering whether I should e-mail it to them this evening or mail it to them (though, then they would not see it today).

[Heidi]

If you're ok with them not paying you any more and just want them gone, email it to them. I think most email programs can send you a "receipt" when they open it. Save the outgoing email and the receipt.

Since you will then know they opened it, you shouldn't have to worry that they'll show up at your door. If there are thing to pick up, state in the email exactly when they can pick them up (like Saturday morning when dh is home), and keep the exchange brief...here ya go.

If you do want your $, then state that in the letter, and let them know their children are welcome to attend until _________________, and that they will, of course, continue to receive the high quality care that they have for the past _______.



When I recently termed, I told the mom in person, but handed her the letter. It was awkward, and naturally she asked why (although she should have known). I simply said "you know, there is nothing I can say that will avoid hurting your feelings, so I just won't give you a specific reason. It's a lot of things that add up, and this is just not a good fit anymore".