Unteachable 2 yr old!!!

[delferka]

I've had a little boy since he was 11 months old. He's now 2.5 and I cannot get anything through to him. He lays on the other kids even though they cry. He just laughs. He torment my cats and has been getting scratched on a weekly basis. He just doesn't get it! He pokes and prods at the other kids all the time. I've told him not to do these things a thousand times and he just keeps repeating it. He's worth double the money I get for him.. His dad is not the brightest bulb and Mom babies him when he really need to be reprimanded. How many time outs can this child get?? I'm pooped!!!

[Heidi]

Hello! I see you haven't been here in a while-welcome back!

It's hard to know what to say, not knowing what you've tried, but I would

A. Find EVERY opportunity to catch him doing something right, and notice it. "Wow, dcb, I see you are being gentle with the cat". Or "I see you are building a big tower". You don't have to praise him constantly for doing the right thing, just notice outloud.

B. When he does something he shouldn't, whenever possible, tell him what you WANT him to do vs. what you don't. After 22 years of raising kids, I am still working on that some days. So, "I want you to sit on the chair" instead of
"don't stand on the chair" or "Use gentle hands with...." instead of "Don't hit...".

C. If he seems to be overwhelmed easily, try to give him (and all the kids) a nice spot to chill. A cozy corner away from the group for alone time. An old crib mattress with some throw pillow, stuff animals, and a basket of books. When he gets crazy, direct him to the "chill hill" or the "quiet zone" or the "cozy corner"...I'm not feeling clever enough to come up with anything original right now, sorry.

D. When you give him a directive, try to get down low, and get eye contact. Ask for eye contact (but don't force it). If he's capable, ask him to repeat what you said so you KNOW he heard and understood.

I don't know if any of this helps, but that's all I've got....

[queenbee]

I have this kid She is also 2.5yo.

She's been with me almost a year and it's been a very trying time. I've tried everything (and then some) to get her to "get it" but she is simply........blank when she is taught rules. It can become very exhausting and I've thought about terming her more than once.

I've only been trying this for two weeks and it's worked amazingly, but I am not sure of the long-term results.

Everyday she gets dropped off and sits at a separate table to eat breakfast. After finished, she picks a toy or activity and brings it to the mats next to where I sit at any given time. If I move to the other side of the room, she needs to pick up her things and follow me. During outside play, she is to play with what is reachable to me. If I'm pushing the babies on the swings, she is to be on the swing next to them. If I'm pushing a child in our choo choo wagon, she is to be sitting IN the wagon. If I'm changing diapers, she is to pick a book and bring it next to the changing table where she sits and reads until I'm finished. I have a kitchenette in my daycare room so when I prepare meals she sits at the table and does a puzzle.

I've taken away a lot of freedom for this child. She can pick what she wants to do during free play, but the remainder of the time I am in charge and she is to follow me/sit by me. She, very rarely, gets the opportunity to play with a friend as she is simply unable to BE a friend. She doesn't understand what it takes to play with children (only child) and she is my shadow all day....except on a much higher/more supervised level.

The other children are much happier and I am much happier. DCG can sometimes become upset when she isn't allowed freedom, but at this current moment I am resetting her back to "default" and completely reprograming her to play correctly, behave correctly and eat/sleep correctly while here.

At home, DCD plays with her every single moment. He (in his words) believes DCG shouldn't play alone, watch tv alone, play outside alone, look at books alone, sleep alone, blah, blah, blah. DCM is extremely lenient and becomes VERY upset when I tell her DCG has been into timeout on any given day Definitely a bad match in parenthood.

Good luck!

[delferka]

Wow! Thanks for this info.. I'm going to follow suit and do what you do.. I'll repost later and tell you how it's worked out...

[cheerfuldom]

I know this kid....she's my middle daughter, ha ha! She would absolutely drive any daycare provider batty.

Like the others said, you have to stay on this kid like a hawk. Very little freedom, very little free range. They need constant, consistent attention. My child takes up more work than almost all the other kids combined, no lie. Another thing that helps is LOTS of outdoor/active play without it being wild and unrestrained. Things to get her energy out....long walks, water play, things that wear kids out.