DCM Took DCG To The Doctor Yesterday

[Breezy]

I had texted DCM yesterday to let her know DCG had been screaming since she had gotten up from her nap and was also rubbing at her ear. She said she was going to come get her around 1 but she needed to finish up some stuff at work. DCD arrived around 4:00 to pick her up instead. Which didn't really bother me as I had gotten DCG down for another nap by then and so she slept until dad came to get her.

I also let mom and dad know that she hadn't eaten more than 4 ounces of formula all day and she was refusing baby food or finger food. For those of you that don't know, this is my Screamer and the screaming and the not eating are a usual occurance here. Dad has said before that it is a normal occurrence at home too. Dad has also said mom picks her up at any little whine which is why she demands to be held here all day. She was born at 28 weeks and is now turning 12 months old at the end of next month and is the size of a 6-9 month old. She crawls, pulls up to standing, and walks with a walker.

Ok now that everyone is caught up on the history, DCM texts me last night and says that there is no ear infection but that she is getting 5 teeth and its putting a lot of pressure on her ears. She then goes on to say that she has lost a lot of weight and we need to focus on her eating even more. I asked her how much weight she has lost (since last doctor appt which was just a few weeks ago) expecting mom to say just a few ounces and she texts back 3 pounds!!! :Eek:

I ask if the doctor has any tips on how to get her to eat and mom says well she needs little distraction and needs a long time to eat. She eats very slow she says. I didnt respond back at that point, it was late and I was tired. But less distractions? This is a daycare. I am not your nanny. These children are my livelihood. I try my hardest to minimize distraction but I have 3 other children to supervise and make sure they eat as well. I don't have the time to sit there and feed her all day.

Obviously this is the cherry on top so to speak of why to term. It really is In her best interest to not be in daycare anymore. The other thing that bugs me though Is the way she talks to me about her weight is almost like she blames it on her time here. She is here ONE day per week on average. Yesterday was the first day she has been here since last week Monday. She won't be here again until next Friday. She isn't losing those 3 pounds in the 8 hours she is here a week. It is something they are doing at home as well.

I think they need to go see a specialist. This is ridiculous. 3 pounds in just a few weeks. My word.

She will be getting notice next Friday.

[Kiki]

She will be getting notice next Friday.

While it's horrible that the little girl has lost so much weight, I just did a little dance for you.
If she's only with you one day a week, it is not something you're doing, that's for sure!

[Blackcat31]

((((hugs)))) it is tough when WE are the end all and cure all for all the ailments kids have or can get.

I agree though that you need to term. NOT because the whole situation is kind of a PITA, but because it sounds as if they really need a one to one caregiver and if you cannot provide the type of care a child requires, then it is in the best interest of everyone that you term.

Don't let the DCM's comments get to you, I am sure she is as frustrated as you are and having a little one (especiallly a premie) can be tough.

I know you are a wonderfully caring and attentive provider who tried everything possible to help this little gal and even endured a whole lot more screaming than you should have so don't feel bad.

You are doing the right thing and I am sure your head, your ears, your DS, DH and the other DCK's will all appreciate the silence when she is gone.

(((hugs)))) lovethis

[Breezy]

Thanks girls!! I am so excited to be done but I of course feel like I am giving up on her. But its not my job and I hate watching her continue to lose weight. She looks like crap. Sunken eyes and huge bags under them. You can feel every bone!

[countrymom]

sounds like she is a failure to thrive child. No matter what you do, its going to be up to mom and dad to fix her problem.

[MN Day Mom]

Thanks girls!! I am so excited to be done but I of course feel like I am giving up on her. But its not my job and I hate watching her continue to lose weight. She looks like crap. Sunken eyes and huge bags under them. You can feel every bone!

You are not giving up on her. Think of it as in terming her maybe open her parents eyes and make them realize something more is going on here!

I'm happy for you that your home will be filled with a bit less screaming soon! Credit to you for dealing with it for so long.

[cheerfuldom]

this is kid is really suffering....at home! she needs a lot of attention and help right now and that is her parents job!

be prepared for the mom to storm out and act crazy at termination, but please be confident in the fact that you are doing the right thing and have done nothing to cause the struggles this kid is having.

I would imagine that it may be a swallowing issue or some other component that is making her struggle so much with food. She is literally needing all day, every day to maintain weight, let alone gain. She needs some intervention fast! (the parents responsibility)

[jojosmommy]

Sounds like my dd. Did you read my off topic thread about fpies? My dd screams terribly when she is exposed to a food which she is sensitive to. She is 8 mo and eats 1 bite of food a day. She has lost weight as she struggles to eat and moves/crawls more. My dd also vomits whenexposed to certain foods but many just cause uncontrollable screaming, poor sleep, general misery.

I understand how hard it is to care for a child this difficult. Just sounds very much like my dd. Would mom respond to you mentioning food allergies or fpies?

[Breezy]

Sounds like my dd. Did you read my off topic thread about fpies? My dd screams terribly when she is exposed to a food which she is sensitive to. She is 8 mo and eats 1 bite of food a day. She has lost weight as she struggles to eat and moves/crawls more. My dd also vomits whenexposed to certain foods but many just cause uncontrollable screaming, poor sleep, general misery.

I understand how hard it is to care for a child this difficult. Just sounds very much like my dd. Would mom respond to you mentioning food allergies or fpies?

I did read it and immediately thought of this DCG. Thanks for reminding me!!! I will look into it more and mention it to her

[Breezy]

She usually doesn't vomit though.. isn't that the most common symptom?

[cheerfuldom]

I have one child with low muscle tone....something for mom to maybe look into. This makes swallowing very difficult and a SLOOOOWWW process, even though she is hungry. She cried a lot when she was little and I think a lot of that was that she was either hungry or did not have the stamina to keep awake happily for very long. She was always tired and unhappy, but not necessary sleepy, partially due to lack of food. We also had the weight issues with her. Something to consider would be a specialized formula for weight gain.

[jojosmommy]

Well, the interesting part about FPIES is that there is no "normal". Some kids vomit, some don't. I have gotten connected with some other families with FPIES kids and the symptoms are all very different, some foods cause different reactions. My DD only vomits when exposed to rice, chicken, and peaches. The other foods cause less obvious (but still really difficult to deal with symptoms).

My DD is like night and day. If she is exposed to a food which irritates her (we call them "fail" foods) she is the saddest, most irritable, fussy little kid you have ever seen. Typically for a day or two. She will not eat, not sleep, not play, cry, cry cry. After about 2 days she is back to normal- as long as she has not again been exposed to a fail food or another food which irriatates. The symptoms almost always start within 2 hours of the exposure. She also sometimes has nasty diapers but not always. That is the hardest part. There is no FOR SURE, its a nebulus type thing. You really go on instinct and past history of what foods have irritated her.

We put her on a 10 day purge diet, where we only fed her bananas and formula/BM. OMG she was the happiest little thing. She actually gained 8 ounces too! Never cried, slept so good, was the easiest kid ever- really.

As soon as we reintroduced other foods she went back instantly to "monster baby". I know she can not help it. It is so clear that the foods are causing this. Our MD said often their gut/intestines etc are so inflamed from the foods they are in serious pain but really have no way of expressing it.

I really hope that this kiddo gets some help. It really sounds like FPIES or other food allergies to me.

And, I don't blame you for not wanting to put up with it. It really makes it hard to deal with, especially when you have other dck to worry about. I just thought the info would be helpful.