Negative Child

[Unregistered]

I have an almost 4 yo daughter who CONSTANTLY whines and complains about EVERYTHING!!! She ruins the fun for all the other kids and it's making me crazy!

For example, today, I started getting all the kids shoes on and she asks if we are taking a walk, I say "Yes" and all the kids are excited - Except her. She starts complaining she doesn't like taking walks, her legs hurt, she's too hot or cold, etc., which then of course, all the others follow since she is the oldest of the bunch.

I am super positive about all of our activities and she always has something to say about everything.

I have tried ignoring it, I have tried making her go to a "whining spot", I have tried talking to her.

It is very irritating because everything would be so much fun without her negative attitude and nasty comments. How do I get this behavior to stop?

Any advice or insight would be helpful ... Thank you!

[Willow]

Whining kids here have two choices:

1. Nap
2. Go clean up _____ and rejoin the group when you've changed your attitude
(think giving her a damp paper towel and having her "dust" or wipe down windows, pick up the toy room, organize a book shelf, shoe rack or tupperware cupboard etc)


It's one thing across the board, any kid, any age, I'll absolutely never tolerate.

[Heidi]

Whenever it's possible, I'd tell her "You can either stop whining and join us, or you can go..... Which do you choose?"

choices: go sit on the whining spot, go play by yourself in your room. YOU choose the option, though, not her. one or the other.

Have you tried the 1-2-3 thing? Something like "I will give you until 3 to collect yourself and start whining, then you can either join us, or go...."

I would back it up with some positive reinforcement, as well. Say, if she gets through the whole morning without whining, you will play dolls with her for 15 minutes or read a story with her at the beginning of nap.

Lastly (or firstly), have a kind, frank, talk with her about it when you are both in a good mood. Tell her that you love her, acknowledge that it's hard to share mommy, and that she is your special little girl. But, when she whines it hurts your ears and it makes everyone feel bad. So, from now on, here is what we'll do....

[Blackcat31]

Whenever it's possible, I'd tell her "You can either stop whining and join us, or you can go..... Which do you choose?"

choices: go sit on the whining spot, go play by yourself in your room. YOU choose the option, though, not her. one or the other.

Have you tried the 1-2-3 thing? Something like "I will give you until 3 to collect yourself and start whining, then you can either join us, or go...."

I would back it up with some positive reinforcement, as well. Say, if she gets through the whole morning without whining, you will play dolls with her for 15 minutes or read a story with her at the beginning of nap.

Lastly (or firstly), have a kind, frank, talk with her about it when you are both in a good mood. Tell her that you love her, acknowledge that it's hard to share mommy, and that she is your special little girl. But, when she whines it hurts your ears and it makes everyone feel bad. So, from now on, here is what we'll do....

this

[Bookworm]

Sounds like a DCB in my class. He somehow manages to turn everything into a competition and when he doesn't come out on top, here comes the whining and complaining. Every game is stupid or every activity is dumb/boring. What I had to do was exclude home from every game or activity. I would tell him that I know that he doesn't like to do -insert activity- so he can just sit and watch or he could work puzzles etc. For about a week and a half it started getting old to him because the class kept talking about the fun new game or the cool prizes. Slowly but surely, he started to ask if he could join in and I would let him. But as soon as he started with the whining/complaining he had to leave the group. Eventually he figured it out and is about 80% cured of whining/complaining.