More Burn Out

[Unregistered]

Logged out... Hopefully I remember to stay logged out

I know in my heart it's time for me to be done. But mostly because of the stress of my own kids. We are together all day everyday with no babysitter or break EVER!!!
I'm tired. The usual tired physically, mentally and tired of my home always trashed. But at lat the problem..... What do you do next?? Where do you go to make the same money??
I'm in a depressed area, have no schooling to speak of except high school, my prior work history is over a decade old.... I feel so unqualified. To work in schools or preschools (which would be fine with me) all only pay minimum wage with no benefits.

I know realistically no one can give me the "magic" answer but I'm hoping some one has an idea that has potienal for me.

[cheerfuldom]

Can you scale back the number of kids for now....take a little bit of a break? are there any groups or hobbies or things you can get involved in to give yourself that mental break from kids all day? or even take one more kid in order to hire a little bit of help?

[small_steps]

I'm sorry you're feeling burnt out. That seems to happen really easily in our profession. Could you do something like I'm doing? I've had several parents interested in a mother's day out type program. My work week is going from Monday-Friday 6:30-5:30 to Monday-Thursday from 9-3. It doesn't start until the fall but I'm so excited about it. It gets me back to where I WANT to work. I'm so ready for it to start even though income wise I will be making a little less at first but hopefully once word gets out I will be making fairly close to the same amount. But I've decided I don't mind the pay cut because it comes with a cut in my hours and 1 day off per week.

I'm not saying this will work for you but maybe something similar would. Just maybe make a change that will get you excited about the job again.
As for your own children maybe you should hire a sitter and go out one a week until you start feeling better and then make it every other week or something like that. Just to give yourself a break from your own children for a few hours. We need that sometimes and so do our children.

[My3cents]

Logged out... Hopefully I remember to stay logged out

I know in my heart it's time for me to be done. But mostly because of the stress of my own kids. We are together all day everyday with no babysitter or break EVER!!!
I'm tired. The usual tired physically, mentally and tired of my home always trashed. But at lat the problem..... What do you do next?? Where do you go to make the same money??
I'm in a depressed area, have no schooling to speak of except high school, my prior work history is over a decade old.... I feel so unqualified. To work in schools or preschools (which would be fine with me) all only pay minimum wage with no benefits.

I know realistically no one can give me the "magic" answer but I'm hoping some one has an idea that has potienal for me.

Cheer gave you some good ideas- get some help, take another kid in or take a cut to be able to afford someone to help you part time. Just having someone to talk with daily that is not a kid is a big lift. Do something for yourself. If your working your tail off and seeing none of the benefits, then what is the point- Be good to yourself, get out once a week, have a hobbie, let the little things go, find the reasons that you took on this career in the first place--- it was not the money- I do understand what your saying about wanting something outside of the house- you should find this. Once the kiddo's are gone and have flown the nest, it is just you and your hubby or for some just you- you need to have other interest. Another thing I do when I feel this way. I rearrange things to give myself a new outlook on my surroundings. It freshens things up. Burn out is a big issue for providers. I come here for my fix of friendships, advice and helps and wisdom and break. I look forward to seeing how others are doing- good or bad. Little nice things for yourself- Make sure you have two weeks of paid vacation to look forward to each year. We work hard ladies, we deserve this. It makes me a better provider-

[spud912]

If it were me, I would either scale back or close altogether, get a student loan, and go back to school. I would go for something I know I could a job afterward quickly and go to one of the expedited school programs.

When my kids are older and school-aged, those are my intentions. I already have a bachelor's degree, but want to go in a completely different direction. If and when I go back to the work field, I intend to make some money.

[MsMe]

In my eight years I ahve suffered through 2 major burn out periods. I am just now coming out of the second. I even put the house up for sale this last December!!

Havign to do several interviews for spots I will have open in the Fall really helped. I got a change to talk up my program and myself and it really helped me remember what I DO love about my job. DO you have any difficult kids you want to replace?

Summer has also helped a lot. Can you get yourself and the kids out on some walks or to a local park or pool?


I agree with the other other posters ideas too. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing!!

[jokalima]

OMG I just feel I can't do much more of this. Maybe is in the air? IDK but right now I have them watching a instructional DVD because I just can't do more, I feel exhausted, I want to cry at times and I can't figure a way out of this w/out hurting my self financially or hurting the parents feelings. Oh Gosh!

My son is just not happy with the DC environment, he basically does not know how to adjust and it breaks my heart I am doing this to him and I think that drains me even more, the feeling that I've failed as a mom. My DC is usually very neat and organized but since new DCK are here is just chaos, parents don't seem to bother and let their kids just make more messes at pick up time, DCM does not seem to care about my complaints of behavior of DCG and is just to much at this moment for me, or at least it feels that way.

[Blackcat31]

OMG I just feel I can't do much more of this. Maybe is in the air? IDK but right now I have them watching a instructional DVD because I just can't do more, I feel exhausted, I want to cry at times and I can't figure a way out of this w/out hurting my self financially or hurting the parents feelings. Oh Gosh!

My son is just not happy with the DC environment, he basically does not know how to adjust and it breaks my heart I am doing this to him and I think that drains me even more, the feeling that I've failed as a mom. My DC is usually very neat and organized but since new DCK are here is just chaos, parents don't seem to bother and let their kids just make more messes at pick up time, DCM does not seem to care about my complaints of behavior of DCG and is just to much at this moment for me, or at least it feels that way.

I am so sorry that you (and the others) are going through this.

In my personal opinion, I kind of think this is where you either "make it" or "break it" so to speak in this profession.

You either decide to quit because you really just cannot deal with the kiddos, the mess, the chaos and/or the parents or you really learn to have a backbone and speak up and enforce policies and eliminate bad behavior in both the DCK's and the parents.

I wish there was some magic formula or equation I could give you that would help you go one way or another but honestly I think it is kind of like rock bottom and you have to go there before you can get anywhere else and really decide what it is you want to do.

If you stick it out, you need to make some serious changes so that you and your family are your number 1 priority at ALL times and you do not allow parents or DCK's to cross that line....this requires a good deal of very open and upfront communitcation with your clients...sometimes on a daily basis.

As far as the bad behaviors of the DCK's, that can change too if you are upfront with the parents about what you will and will not tolerate in YOUR home. Then you apply those same rules VERY firmly and consistently with the kids while they are in attendance at your house. Kids really do want consistency and firm boundaries...I think this is where you definitely have to realize that it is ok to be the bad guy....the kids will still like you if you balance the strict guidance with love and affection when it matters.

As far as the parents go, you need to stand strong and keep in the front of your mind at all times that they are NOT your employers and you do NOT work for them. YOU set all the rules and if they agreed to them, then you need to enforce them and never assume that they will simply comply just because they said they would...kwim? Sometimes you still have to point out the obvious and correct or re-route parents just like they are daycare kids.

You also need to really give some serious thought to what kind of clients you want to have in your home/program. It can't always be money based. I know we do this as a way to make a living but it still has to include weeding out the clients that just don't work despite the amount of money they may bring in. It is hard and it ****s sometimes but I promise that this is also one of those professions that you do get out of it what you are willing to put into it. If you really do the leg work and really get picky about the things you will and will not tolerate, the rest will fall into place.

As soon as I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought and focused only on what really and truly mattered to me, not only a person, but as a mother and a business owner, things changed and my job became something that I really loved and we all know that if we do what we love and love what we do, the rest of it is just icing on the cake.

Hang in there and if you need anything, support, advice or just an ear, PM me ANY TIME!

[Unregistered]

Thank you all for the helpful words. So many of you are right about "me time" but its just so hard as you all know.

Regrouping and kind words from great online buddy's helps alot!
Some days are always going to be better them others but as I watched my kids sleep last night i rememberd how lucky I am to have this time with them now. My oldest will be leaving soon and I will miss this time when shes gone.

I am going to explore my options to futher my education because well lets face it.... total burn out is always a possibility. When it really is to the point that I can't continue to do this anymore i want to be ready

Thank you all

[My3cents]

OMG I just feel I can't do much more of this. Maybe is in the air? IDK but right now I have them watching a instructional DVD because I just can't do more, I feel exhausted, I want to cry at times and I can't figure a way out of this w/out hurting my self financially or hurting the parents feelings. Oh Gosh!

My son is just not happy with the DC environment, he basically does not know how to adjust and it breaks my heart I am doing this to him and I think that drains me even more, the feeling that I've failed as a mom. My DC is usually very neat and organized but since new DCK are here is just chaos, parents don't seem to bother and let their kids just make more messes at pick up time, DCM does not seem to care about my complaints of behavior of DCG and is just to much at this moment for me, or at least it feels that way.

Well ok, I am feeling that your son is seeing how you feel and his feelings are bouncing off of you. They sense us. Validated but I think if your happier then he will be too.

Help- Get your kids to pick up toys and daycare before pick ups. 20 minutes before start a clean up routine. Take charge of the behaviors when the child is in your care.

Take the advice given to the OP. Start treating yourself better. Do nice things for yourself etc...

Being a good mom means taking care of yourself and your needs and not trying to be a Martyr. You have one life to live and how you choose to spend your time while you have this time is yours to be discovered.

Have someone you can call and talk with during the day or friends to do things with, hobbies and interest.

Best-