Had To Call CPS For The First Time Today :(

[jen]

Shame on you.

Geesh, Was this really necessary?

OP, cleary you are under a lot of stress and were unprepared for this experience. You didn't use the family's name, but you were perhaps a bit specific. Personally, I don't feel that you are under any obligation to tell the parent that you reported. If (and hopefully you never will be) in this situation again, you will be better prepared.

Honestly, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did the best you knew how to do in the moment and stepped up for a child.

[AnneCordelia]

I am sorry to say that I don't think you should have called. Children can and do get yeast rashes especially after antibiotic use. My daughter had a yeast rash which we treated with over the counter medication. What you are describing does sound like a yeast rash and needs treatment. But I am not sure why cps has to be involved. I would first call the parent and ask them to bring the child to the dr to get advice. Unless there is a pattern of neglect or obvious abuse cps should not be called and disrupt the child's home life. If the rash wasn't being treated or the parents ignored your request to bring the child to the dr then that would be grounds for cps.

not sure what you achieved by lying about it, the truth always comes out in the end.

I absolutely agree. CPS is very serious and a pattern or strong concern of abuse is needed. You couldn't have asked Dad about the rash at pickup? Gotten a doctors note? How long has this child been in care? This families life is turned upside down now because you called about a diaper rash that you didn't even ask any questions about. Im sorry, but that is wrong and I hope this family survives the hardships to come because of this phone call.

I've said it before here: ppl are quick to jump on the CPS wagon without making sure that they understand all the ramifications of making that call unwarranted.

Eta: I am sorry for your losses and hardships, OP. I know that making that call couldn't have been easy and I am sorry you felt you had to do it. That's hard. I hope things work out for everyone in the end. I also agree that I would want to be there to greet this girl today when she arrives.

[joysjustlikehome]

(((hugs))) So sorry for your loss. I think you did the right thing in calling. I learned through a training that it is not up to us to decide if it's abuse or not we need to call if something gives us cause to seriously wonder. I'm sorry for the family if it truly is a case of diaper rash, but you need to err on the side of the child. ~Joy

[AnneCordelia]

(((hugs))) So sorry for your loss. I think you did the right thing in calling. I learned through a training that it is not up to us to decide if it's abuse or not we need to call if something gives us cause to seriously wonder. I'm sorry for the family if it truly is a case of diaper rash, but you need to err on the side of the child. ~Joy

You don't think that the first step would be asking the parents about it before calling with allegations of abuse? Requesting a doctors note? It may well be there is a reasonable explanation but the opportunity to explain was not offered.

[B Lou]

I am so very sorry you are going through this. Not only with cps report but from some of the harsh replies on here.

I agree that you made the right call. And agree that you should have told the truth to the parents. But when we are put in a situation like this we sometimes panic and aren't quite sure what to say.

Most of us come on here for support and advice. Not to get judged or have harshness from others.

So even though most of us think you should have told the truth, I'm sure it will be a lesson learned.

(((HUGS)))

[SunshineMama]

Did you guys who said she should not have called miss the part about where OP said there was a bruising coloration around the front and back privates? Bruising around those areas, combined with an all of a sudden rash that more than one person in the childcare business has not seen before warrents a call to CPS.

OP I am so sorry that you are going through all of this all at once. I can only imagine how your body's hormones are adjusting to what you had to go through with the miscarriage, and then with the additional stress of everything else, coupled with this problem with DCG. You did the right thing, and I hope no one makes you feel guilty about it. If the parents have nothing to hide, they should be thankful that they chose a provider who cares enough to make that difficult call on behalf of their child.

Maybe you should not have lied, but I completely understand why you did it and I don't judge you or think you are a bad person. Maybe if you said you called they would not come back, and something worse could happen to the child. CPS will not take a child away from a mother for a simple yeast infection or a diaper rash- but if they do find signs of sexual abuse, then you may have saved that child's life, and the future quality of her life.

You did the right thing. It was hard, and you did it! You should feel good about that!

[SilverSabre25]

You don't think that the first step would be asking the parents about it before calling with allegations of abuse? Requesting a doctors note? It may well be there is a reasonable explanation but the opportunity to explain was not offered.

What if it wasn't a diaper rash, but a clear hand-shaped bruise on the child's upper arm or back or rear end? Would you wait to call CPS and talk to the parents first? Or would you call immediately? We are mandated reporters--we are supposed to call CPS for even suspicions of abuse. That doesn't mean a clear pattern--abuse doesn't have to have a pattern to be wrong. ONCE is wrong.

And especially in the case of something like this, you don't even want to THINK that your delay in calling might mean it might happen again. I've never seen or heard of a diaper rash that looked bruised and was as localized as the OP described. A bleeding rash is one thing, those can happen pretty suddenly sometimes, but bruised? Not so much. Bruises require trauma. And if something happened that might have been traumatic to that area (say, an older child falling on something) then the father REALLY should have offered up an explanation instead of "she has a rash, there's cream" and zooming out asap.

[Kaddidle Care]

I've never seen or heard of a diaper rash that looked bruised and was as localized as the OP described. A bleeding rash is one thing, those can happen pretty suddenly sometimes, but bruised? Not so much. Bruises require trauma. And if something happened that might have been traumatic to that area (say, an older child falling on something) then the father REALLY should have offered up an explanation instead of "she has a rash, there's cream" and zooming out asap.

This was my thought too. And another though is that the parents only saw the diaper rash and not the bruising.

I personally slipped on a bicycle pedal while racing down a hill as an older child - it was a boys bike and I fell hard on the bar. I'm sure I wasn't too pretty down there and there must have been bruising.

It could have happened innocently but in this case something sounds just not right.

The provider is mandated to report if she suspects foul play. She did what she was supposed to.

I just don't want her to get into any legal trouble by posting this on a public forum. People can put 2 and 2 together very well these days.

[AnneCordelia]

I just mean that I think we take calling CPS very lightly here. This is the second time in as many weeks that I have heard calling over diaper rash in as many weeks.

A doctor is a mandated reporter too, if you required that the child be looked at.

My son got a blue tinged bum from those blue jean pampers once. But bruising around the privates would indeed be reason to call. My apologies.

Perhaps it was the right thing to do. I don't know this family. I just think that asking a few questions is merited before turn this families life upside down. If they are innocent and it was just a yeast rash then this family will be put through he'll for no reason. Yes, it might be abuse I don't know.

And I don't know the American system. I know here in Canada CAS is paid based on families in care so it is in their best interest to make it hard for families to exit their grasp once in it, even if they are innocent of the charges.

[Unregistered]

OP-You did the right thing!! This needs to be checked out!! Its better to be safe than sorry.

Crystal, shame should be on YOU!! If a child had centralized bruising on their privates and you didnt make the call, you'd be in violation of being a mandatory reporter! The parents could make the call and blame you!! Its a part of the twisted world we live in!

[Blackcat31]

You should not have posted this confidential information on a public forum. You had better hope that the parents do not come across this site.....and YES, it has happened here before.

Calling CPS was the right thing to do.

BUT, LYING about who called (and if I was the consultant I would be LIVID with you for blaming her...these "white trash" people as you refer to them just might retaliate) was ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, WRONG!!!

You lied so as not to lose a paying client. If the roles were reversed and the parent was lying to you, you certainly would not appreciate it.

Shame on you.

Crystal......I agree with what you said but seriously, say what you mean but don't say it mean.

Geesh, Was this really necessary?

OP, cleary you are under a lot of stress and were unprepared for this experience. You didn't use the family's name, but you were perhaps a bit specific. Personally, I don't feel that you are under any obligation to tell the parent that you reported. If (and hopefully you never will be) in this situation again, you will be better prepared.

Honestly, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did the best you knew how to do in the moment and stepped up for a child.

We can only do what we are trained to do and in light of the posts we see here, there is hardly evidence of any type of good quality training in regards to mandated reporting going on in any area... I am surprised by some of the conversations/posts/threads we have had on this forum in that regard.

Definitely shows the lack of training and knowledge each state provides for it's child care providers... :confused:

I just mean that I think we take calling CPS very lightly here. This is the second time in as many weeks that I have heard calling over diaper rash in as many weeks.

A doctor is a mandated reporter too, if you required that the child be looked at.
My son got a blue tinged bum from those blue jean pampers once. But bruising around the privates would indeed be reason to call. My apologies.

Perhaps it was the right thing to do. I don't know this family. I just think that asking a few questions is merited before turn this families life upside down. If they are innocent and it was just a yeast rash then this family will be put through he'll for no reason. Yes, it might be abuse I don't know.

And I don't know the American system. I know here in Canada CAS is paid based on families in care so it is in their best interest to make it hard for families to exit their grasp once in it, even if they are innocent of the charges.

Anne~ Good point! Requiring the child to see a doctor could have been one option.

I know in my state we are required to give enrolling parents written notice telling them that if we suspect ANY type of abuse or neglect, that we are mandated by law to report it.

The notice gives the names and numbers of who we will call and also tells the parents to call if they suspect us (the provider) of anything similar.

We and the parent are required to sign and date it, give one copy to the parent and keep the other in the child's file.

[SilverSabre25]

Coming from a place of not knowing regulations on the subject--

I do NOT have a problem with her lying about reporting. If there's a law that says we have to disclose that information then it's a stupid law, IMO. If we are reporting suspected or known abuse, then it seems to me that there is a strong risk of retaliation against us if it's known that we are the ones that reported. Especially in the cases where the abuse is physical, I would be seriously concerned that the abuser would retaliate violently against me for reporting, not to mention false allegations that the abuse occurred at daycare.

She didn't lie to law enforcement or in court--she lied to the family to protect herself. And to protect the child.

[Blackcat31]

She didn't lie to law enforcement or in court--she lied to the family to protect herself. And to protect the child.

.......and WITH permission from the person she said "probably" called.

I see nothing wrong with the lying part of this scenario. She did it for the right reasons.

I know lying is not morally ok but at the same time, protecting myself, my family, my staff, the other children and families in care as well as the child in question is MORE important than a lie about who told....that is just rubble in the big picture of things.

[Willow]

Just to clarify, CPS cannot pull the child out of the home. They do not have the authority to do such a thing.

And just because someone makes an allegation doesn't mean someone is going to lose their child.

CPS will investigate first, decide if the child is in any danger, and then have to petition a judge *with evidence* to even have a chance of removal being granted (usually called a CHIPS hearing). In most states that then gives them 72 hours to investigate further, at which point they need to have even more evidence to provide the court to petition them to order the child staying in protective custody beyond that 72 hour hearing. Without a mountain of evidence, most kids pulled return home if they were ever pulled at all.

I've taken fosters who DID have a mountain of evidence in support of allegations of their abuse and neglect who were returned home because there wasn't more. I've hotlined things where there was undeniable and irrefutable evidence for (including straight out admissions!) and the allegation is still ruled unsubstantiated. So while calling is noble, and our duty, and may relieve feelings of personal responsibility to a situation, in the end it rarely amounts to much.

If this is indeed just a rash a simple doctors visit will clear everything up and CPS will never bother the family again.



Not to judge, this is more to get you thinking OP, but I too wonder why a doctors visit wasn't just requested in the first place. If they refused, then I'd have called. If they left care at that point then I'd have called. But if I knew the family well and cared about the kiddo I'd have tended to give them the benefit of the doubt. If anything it's a very good sign that the child hasn't had any issues with her diaper area to date. The word "weird" was thrown in there as if it was a bad thing, and I don't see that to be the case. Usually that's the sign of a very well cared for child. Dad feeling uncomfortable about the situation and not really wanting to discuss it would also be viewed as extremely normal. I don't know of any father on the face of the planet that would jump at the chance to discuss details regarding the state of their daughters genitals. If they did I'd be far more suspicious of THAT.


The white trash bit totally offends me but I don't see the point in getting into that....I just hope you'll reconsider using the phrase in the future.



Red, raised and localized around bottom exits is TEXTBOOK yeast infection. It's also typically extremely itchy, which could have led to the child scratching and rubbing herself with hand or other objects to the point of scratching, tearing and bruising.

[thatdivalady]

In PA, I know for a fact (after having been through multiple trainings provided by the state) that it is not our job to determine whether it was abuse or not. It is the job of CYF/Social Services. If you even suspect abuse or neglect then you are mandated to call and report.

However, all of the parents I deal with in therapy and childcare know that I and staff are mandated reporters and if we see a bruise or anything that resembles abuse we will call social services.

I can understand how the OP must have felt if this is the first time it has happened to her, she has not received appropriate training, and she does not have a supervisor to have supervisions with. It is overwhelming to have to be in that position unprepared. However, to deceive the parent is to lose their trust anyway, you know? So telling the truth is always the best thing.

I don't think that calling should "be taken lightly" but look at it like this. If there really is no abuse or neglect then the family's life is not "torn upside down." But if there is, shouldn't the authorities handle it?