A Few Development Questions.....

[melskids]

i had been searching the web for some answers, but would love some ideas and advice from all of you.....


#1 i have a 2 yr old (just 2 in april) who talks alot, but none of it makes sense. NONE. most of it is mumbles and grunts. he knows what he is saying... and understands what is being said to him. his other provider, (he just started here in april) recommended he be tested for speech, and mom bugged out. i kinda agree with the other provider, so how do i approach mom, who obviously is not for it? (on a side note, i know youre not supposed to compare, but i have another 21 month old who speaks very well, clearly, and in full sentences. the boys mom has heard this other girl talk, and has to be wondering why her son isnt, at least i would think:confused


#2 i have a 3.5 yr old girl who ( i guess this is just a vent...) who cannot actively play by herself. No creativity, imagination, or ability to entertain herself whatsoever. its kinda driving me batty... she will just stand there and stare at me until i direct her in what to do. she seems really lost. and even when i find something for her to do, her attention span is zilch. she will only play with something for 2 or 3 minutes. then on top of it, she refuses to pick up. so she's pulling a ton of stuff out and not really playing with any of it. any suggestions???

#3 i have 2 SA, girl and boy, both 6, who are in the same class and ride the bus together. well, they are in love. at first it was cute and innocent, but now i think its bordering innappropriate. its more the girl then the boy.she wants him to chase her and pin her down (as in him get on top of her) they "tickle" each other on the bus (i dont even want to know...), she wants him to kiss her, he HAS to hug her goodbye,(which is o.k i guess) and the new thing is she keeps saying..." J, you can do what i told you to do to me now" when i ask her what it is she wants him to do she tells me "nothing" real snotty. now, it may all be innocent, but i'm not comfortable with it, especially when it comes to my daycare. i dont want the younger ones picking up on it, or god forbid, getting accused of anything or being held responsible for anything. how do i approach the parents without sounding like i'm preaching morals and values to them? and what should i start saying to the kids about age appropriate behavior?

wow, that was alot....maybe i should have seperated them into 3 different threads...

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

as for #3, I would sit them down and explain that we dont have boyfriends at childcare, and that we are more of a family of brothers and sisters, than boyfriends and girlfriends. I would also talk to both parents and get them on board curbing the crush and if that doesnt work,.. pick the family you get along with most and term the other. I wouldnt let this girl EVER be alone with the boy. and NO PINNING of any sort. period. I would seperate them, completely. I have a friend who lost her daycare lic and has child neglect on her perm record for something similar.

[fctjc1979]

1 - I would wait a while on talking to the mom about speech testing. Every child is different and at two years old he's still learning how everything around him works. He may just not care about speech just yet. My niece just turned two and, while she does have a lot of words that she speaks very clearly, she doesn't speak in full sentences and uses sign language for a lot of things since her parents taught her some signs when she was really little. I'm no expert, and it might be worth doing some looking on-line, but if it were me I don't think I would be too concerned unless there was no change by about 2 1/2.

2 - I would just let her stand and stare. Eventually, she'll either get bored with that or another child will invite her to play with them. It sounds like she just needs to build some confidence. I was kind of like this but not as severe when I was a child and it all came down to being way shy and not wanting to look dumb by doing something the wrong way. Insecurity can often be fixed by creating an atmosphere where the child has to choose to either sit things out or risk doing things the wrong way. Praise also helps because then the child knows that what they are doing is ok, but be careful that you don't do it too much or the child will come to depend on praise.

3 - I'm with laundreyduchess on this one. This one needs to be dealt with immediately.

[Jenjo]

#1 I would not worry about it yet. There are things you can do to help him with his speech like reading to him, point out things and give them their names, when he says something even if it is unintelligible to you if you have an idea of what he is trying to say say it correctly as a model for him, talk to him often, and maybe teach him a few signs. In a year if he is 50% unintelligible than I would approach his mom and say that you feel he should be checked out.

#2 I have kids like that, they are frustrating, but I think they lack the confidence to take a risk and just play something. Maybe give her a wipe and let her clean the door frames or shelves in the toy room. I know it sounds weird but I have found it to work. She maybe also needs you to help her learn how to play. Good Luck

#3 I had a situation like that here. I had a little girl and and boy kissing and holding hands all of the time about the same age. I finally just told them that it was not aloud in Daycare. I told them that it was inappropriate and then I watched them closely. You should talk to the parents let them know what it is going on. I liked the idea of telling them we are a family brothers and sisters good idea.

[fctjc1979]

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1874425/and_so_it_begins_kindergarten_romance.html?cat=10

This article sounds a lot like my kindergarten year. Different names and different descriptions, but pretty much spot-on. And the other difference was that the boy I thought was a dream boat also liked me. That's where my story differs from the scenario you presented in #3. While I also had a kindergarten romance, we never tried to kiss each other and the comment you were talking about her giving him permission to do ........something....... to her never would have crossed our minds. While this could be something innocent, their other behavior definitely brings this comment into the scare-your-pants-off realm. I would see if you get her parents to figure out what this comment means.

[originalkat]

On #1 I would also wait on any speech concerns. He is only 2 and all children develop at different rates. I have a 2 1/2 year old that only mumbles and says like 2 words. He is JUST starting to expand. But at this point I am not concerned with that.

My niece (now 13 yrs old) was a late talker. Her mom was worried when at 3 yrs old she still wasnt saying much. However, the specialist told them not to worry about it that early. She started talking and has had no speech problems at all.

#3- I would not allow this to go on. Laundry Dutchess has the right idea.

[melskids]

thanks for the replies.

as far as #1, i agree. i did tell mom that i wouldnt worry too much until later on, but my first son needed speech, and i remember the speech teacher telling my i should have caught it earlier to get him the help sooner. so thats always in the back of my mind kind of.

#2....like i said.....the behavior just irritates me. its not anything she is doing wrong. i will give her more chore type activites to do...thanks for the tip

#3.....yesterday they started as soon as they got off the bus. i pulled the car over (i have to drive to the bus stop) right there and had a nice chat with them. basically, i told them its not going to happen at daycare, and i did use the "we're more like brothers and sisters" approach.....(so thank you) i have brought it up to the girls parents, and they think its all innocent and cute. i dont think they realize she is a little more "advanced" then that...the boys mom is aware, and has talked to her son about it. she was worried that the girls parents would be upset, not realizing its the girl who is pursuing. but for now on, i'm going to just stay on top of them....no pun intended.. and try to keep them seperated and occupied. its gonna be a loooonnnggggggg summer for sure!!!

[melskids]

http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...ce.html?cat=10

This article sounds a lot like my kindergarten year. Different names and different descriptions, but pretty much spot-on. And the other difference was that the boy I thought was a dream boat also liked me. That's where my story differs from the scenario you presented in #3. While I also had a kindergarten romance, we never tried to kiss each other and the comment you were talking about her giving him permission to do ........something....... to her never would have crossed our minds. While this could be something innocent, their other behavior definitely brings this comment into the scare-your-pants-off realm. I would see if you get her parents to figure out what this comment means.

that was a cute article....and i remember having a crush in kindergarden too. his name was nick....and he called me cool whip... anyway... this does not seem like the same. it seems so much more intense and provocative, you know, not so innocent.

even my own 7 yr old son has a "crush", but its never been more then "i think she's cute" kinda thing

[professionalmom]

As for the boy and girl being too grown up... sadly, this is the state of our society. Everything we see is sexual, from tv programs, commercials, to the messages sent through all forms of advertising. Although we turn the TV off, it doesn't end there. There are billboards, magazines in the checkout isle, etc. Everything around us is sending the message that sex is everything. There is even a diaper commercial for a limited edition of jeans diapers that seems sexually to me. It has a baby boy walking by a pool in a white dress shirt and his jeans diaper. I think he even has sunglasses on. All the attractive adults are in awe of this baby/toddler's awesomeness. Then he gets into his convertible with a driver holding the door open and then he looks back. Nothing childlike about this commercial - all grown-up poses, movements, etc. So we went from sexualizing out teens and preteens to the babies and toddlers. Heaven help us!

Now children are thinking that this is what all grown ups do and this is the definition of grown-up. Since children are geared toward mimicking grown-ups and "practicing" grown-up behavior, it's no wonder that they try to mimic romantic and sexual behavior.

I think these parents really need to sit their children down and explain that this is completely inappropriate behavior and set stiff consequences for engaging in this behavior. Sure, children are curious about the differences between girls and boys, but this sounds like it's more.

[fctjc1979]

that was a cute article....and i remember having a crush in kindergarden too. his name was nick....and he called me cool whip... anyway... this does not seem like the same. it seems so much more intense and provocative, you know, not so innocent.

even my own 7 yr old son has a "crush", but its never been more then "i think she's cute" kinda thing

I agree that it's not the same. I just ran across it and it reminded me so much of my kindergarten year. The situation you're describing is WAY scarier.