Terrible Interview And Attention Seeking DD

[SunshineMama]

I had an interview last night with the nicest lady and her sweet daughter. It was for part time, two days a week. Dh was supposed to come home and watch our kids so I could interview, but he got stuck at work.

The whole time I interviewed, dd, my usual big helper, was a monster! She interrupted, demanded drinks, knocked over an indoor tree, and was just obnoxious. I sent her to her room and she wouldn't even stay. She will be 4 next week. I was mortified and so distracted by her behavior I didn't do well for the interview.

How do you handle interviews with others when your own kids are acting up? I was not prepared with a special distraction activity bc I planned on Dh being home.

Maybe it was a blessing. The girl clinged to mom the whole time and mom is with her all week. Mom kept referring to her as her little baby (she was 2), and mom said she went off on her previous provider for taking a walk with the child to the park. Maybe dd knew something I didn't ?

[Blackcat31]

I would expect that any mother knows that children always act up precisely when you want them not to.

I would also suspect that as a parent she knows full well that kids behave oddly when around their parents.

If she doesn't understand that simple concept than I would take your DD's behavior as a blessing in disguise as it may well save you from a PITA client....kwim?

[shana]

My son always acts horrible at interviews. I have teenagers(woohoo) so even if my husband isnt here I send him outside with one of them. so no advise on how no handle acting up.( I think they just want attention). but anyone who tells me about going off on a provider would send me a red flag. Whats wrong with walking to the park?? So it might be all for the best. sorry!

[DaisyMamma]

Can't go for walks to the park? Sorry, my house, my daycare, my rules. Thanks for coming, theres the door.p

[spud912]

I remember during one of my first interviews, my dd flipped out and ended up in time out on and off the entire time, while she was screaming. I apologized profusely for her behavior and was beyond mortified. I was even more surprised and relieved with the mom wanted to sign up with me!

[Mom&Provider]

Don't you just love when your own kids act up at just the right moments!? Mine have too....in fact pick-ups and drop-offs continue to be a bit of an issue some days with my own son acting out! Anyway, I'm sure, like others have said, as Moms we kinda expect it! I'm sure her daughter isn't always so clingy and acts out too!

I usually have my own two little ones go out with their Dad also when I have interviews, it's easier and no issues, but in your case fell through this time. Maybe try something your daughter really likes and doesn't have access to all the time - play-doh or something and have her sit at a table near by so she feels included to some extent?

Either way, I wouldn't worry too much...sounds like maybe it's better if this one chose to pass!

[MsMe]

Can't walk to the park Oh my!!

We walk to the park (several different ones) EVERYDAY we can!

I don't transport by car so if we could not walk we would NEVER leave the house....

Right now I am waiting for my only morning napper to wake so we can head out on our daily adventure!

Good luck with other interviews.... I would say NEXT!

[littlemissmuffet]

Did you ask WHY she flipped on her daycare provider for taking her child for a walk to the park? Maybe we're all missing something. I couldn't have let that one go without asking the mom why she was so mad...

Agree with PPs, I could never have a child in my care who wasn't allowed to go on walks. We go for a walk almost every morning and we walk to the park every day too. We LOVE walking!!

Maybe your daughter was "saving" you! ::

[daycare]

I have not read everyone's response, but here is what I do.

when I have an interview and my son who is 4 will be present, I use him as my model. I will have a few activities that we show the parents, some that I know my son can do very well at. Then together we show them. My son eats it up and he just loves the attention they give him.

I run the families through our day and I let my son assist the whole time. Some of the times he will just get bored helping and go in his room. Sometimes he will walk the families through the entire interview.

All of the families are IMPRESSED... I don't see why my son can't help me with the interview, he is fully able to do so. throughout my day, he is my little helper, so I think he feels he needs to be included and I agree.

It's like the can't beat them join them thing... If you can't beat the bad behavior, get them involved with what you are doing.

[cheerfuldom]

I have had my kids present during interviews but yes, they sometimes do act crazy and take the opportunity to be ridiculous. Overall they do pretty good.

Besides that, I would not be okay with the babying from mom or the complaints about a provider taking a child for a walk. I always think it is strange when parents have a problem with me taking the kids for a walk (or even in the backyard!). Thats just way too much of a helicopter mom for me and you can bet she would have been hovering over a million other things too.

[SunshineMama]

Okay, thoughts???

The lady just requested a background check on me through care.com. Of course I said okay, but- do I even want to take this child part time? Given the details I provided earlier- thoughts?

[SunshineMama]

Did you ask WHY she flipped on her daycare provider for taking her child for a walk to the park? Maybe we're all missing something. I couldn't have let that one go without asking the mom why she was so mad...

Agree with PPs, I could never have a child in my care who wasn't allowed to go on walks. We go for a walk almost every morning and we walk to the park every day too. We LOVE walking!!

Maybe your daughter was "saving" you! ::

She said she was upset about the park because the provider should not take her child on a walk without asking her permission each time first.

[Blackcat31]

Okay, thoughts???

The lady just requested a background check on me through care.com. Of course I said okay, but- do I even want to take this child part time? Given the details I provided earlier- thoughts?

Regardless of how the mother treats her child when the child is with you, the only thing that really matters is if she is going to be willing to follow YOUR policies. If she knows you take daily walks and agrees to it, then there should be no issue there. If she refers to her DD as her baby but the child acts her age at your house...then no issues there either....know what I mean?

Why not take this opportunity to lay it out there to the mom. This is how I do things and when you sign my contract, that is the way it will be....so be very clear about your rules/policies to her and give it a shot. The worst thing that could happen is she won't compy which would earn her termination papers so.....

Plus, you do have a two week trial period dont you? I say give it a shot....based on the fact that your own DD was a totally different person during the interview should tell you the potential dcg's behavior may not be normal either.

Oh, and fwiw~ the dcm saying she "went off" on her previous provider about taking a walk may just be that the provider hadn't been clear that they leave the property for walks regularly so she could have been surprised that she wasn't initially told that. Which is why I say be VERY clear about you policies and any questions she has BEFORE you sign her on so she knows what to expect. Like I said, if it doesn't pan out after the 2 weeks trial period...let her go.

Ya never know what could be if you don't try.

..just read your other post ....so I would explain to her that she needs to sign a blanket permission slip since you won't be notifying her and asking her permission every day. NOT feasible when you have other kids to care for. If she wants specific permission to be granted with each incident, she needs to hire a nanny.

[itlw8]

That is the regulation in my state. Parents need to be informed if you leave the premisis.It does not matter if it is walking or in a car.















t

[e.j.]

Okay, thoughts???

The lady just requested a background check on me through care.com. Of course I said okay, but- do I even want to take this child part time? Given the details I provided earlier- thoughts?

First impressions aren't always what we'd like them to be. Maybe they were having an off day, too? It may be that the little girl isn't normally clingy but was during the interview because she was in a new environment and there was a lot going on with your own child? Personally, I'd give it a shot if I needed the money. You can always let her know if it doesn't seem to be working out. Do you have a policy regarding trial periods?

I'd also follow Blackcat's advice about being upfront with the mother about your policies. See what she thinks and go from there.