What To Do?

[EchoMom]

I feel like I got put in a corner doing a favor for a my family member's best friend. I currently have a 6 month, 9 month, 9 month, 2year, and 2 year for daycare. Their 5 year old son needed a summer daycare so I talked with the mom on the phone and she was so excited, but surprise, she actually would need me for the fall ongoing too.

Before I met the kid she called the school to find out if transportation would work out for my house to his PreK. I feel like it all got set up during the phone conversations before we actually had an interview. My family member failed to mention that this 5 year old is HUGE

I didn't really want a 5 year old boy, he's too much older than the other kids, plus he's BIG, plus he's a tough boy's boy kind of kid who's very nice but into lots of dirt bikes and motorcyle type stuff, of which I know nothing.

But I feel like I got put into a corner where I can't say no or else potentially cause family conflict and also really dissappoint the friend. The boy had his first day today and was fine, but I just feel like it's a poor match. He's too big for all of my stuff!

Do you think a 5 year old can do well in a setting for infants and toddlers?

[cheerfuldom]

So he is not going to school at all? He will need care for the full year?

If you really dont think he fits in, I would talk to mom about it but sort of blame it on yourself....

"Kristen, I wanted to touch base with you about Owen's care. He's a great kid. I do feel that long term care would not work out in his best interest though. He is 3 years older than all the kids here and his interests are also different. I am concerned that he would be bored and unchallenged here if left for a full year of care. I wanted to remind you that my oldest kid is 2 and I have several babies. It just doesnt seem like a fun or enriching environment for Owen and wont provide him with the time to practice the skills he will need for kindergarten, like socializing with kids his own age. I'd be happy to continue care for a week or two while you work out a better option for him but again, I feel that I am not the right fit for his needs and dont want to hold him back by keeping him with babies all day long."

As for you question, I personally would not keep a 5 year old boy with all these little ones. I have a hard time with my almost 5 year old daughter because she is ready for school and bored at home....and her sister is almost 3 and the next oldest child. Now you know, never ever commit to anything until you have a full interview. You can even say "lets talk about that at the interview" or "we will go over those details at the interview". you should have a trial period outline in your contract. if your family is the sort to be upset over something like this, dont tell them when you have openings and dont take their recommendation. you can even straight out say "I'm sorry Jen but I cant consider taking any of your friends right now. I am sure they are all great people but I dont want to risk any hard feelings between us if the daycare situation with your friends was to not work out." Now is the time to start getting very professional and start using your backbone. We all have to turn down family and friends in the interest of keeping business separate.

[saved4always]

I would think he would get bored pretty quickly with so many younger children. And with the others being so young, your toys and activities have to be appropriate for the younger ones, i.e. no choking hazards. That really limits even the kind of toys a 5 year old boy would like.

If you really feel this is not going to work in the long run, be honest with the mother and your family member. Maybe just tell them you can do it for the summer but they will need to find a different provider for the school year. I think it is probably better for him to go to a childcare provider who has more age appropriate toys and activities, plus some playmates. He is not going ot be content for long in a place set up for babies and toddlers.

[Meyou]

I wouldn't take a 5 year old with the group you have now. I currently have a 5 year old with a baby and 2 year old group and let me tell you....I'm counting down the days until my dd is done school because he is BORED. Even with lots of extra outside time and attention when the babies are napping he's bored. He's a great one to entertain himself too.

[Blackcat31]

I would give it a few days and then gracefully bow out and say that it just isn't working out as your environment is not meant for him and you are just not able to meet his needs.

Nothing wrong with that. Be honest. Just say that you were willing to try it but that doesn't mean you HAVE to continue caring for him after you tried and cannot meet his needs. Family or not.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I have an almost 6 year old, he missed kindy by 9 days last year. He is also massive, very large, looks 7 or 8 easy. But he is a gentle giant, kind and loving and well behaved. He loves the Littles (18 months and up) and they love him. I wouldn't judge your guy by his looks. My concern for you is.....this child may be bored with your ages. I have plenty of 4 and 5 year old, so he has kids his age to play with. So your guy's size would not be as much of a.d. concern as having playmates and age appropriate activities for him. If he is a rowdy, and misbehaves, that is a totally different story of course.