Don't Know How To Help

[B Lou]

I have a friend who also is a provider. On Friday she was suspended for 45 days due to a complaint of sexual abuse from her husband to a DCC.

I don't know the husband all that well but feel as though I know the provider pretty well. I don't believe this has happened.

So until the investigation is over she just sits and waits. She feels she has to suppost her familt some how. Money wise. So she is thinking she may not even be able to reopen.

I just love her and I don't know what I can do to help.

Thanks for listening and for allowing me to vent.

[Sugar Magnolia]

There is nothing you can do to help, except offer your support. Sad. Hopefully it is a false allegation.

[countrymom]

could it be retaliation against her or her dh. I hope she has some sort of proof.

[DBug]

A similar thing happened in my circle of friends many years ago. In that case, the allegation was true. We tried to help out as much as we could. Here's what our group of friends did:

-watched the kids so that the mom could have time to herself, or so that she and the dad could go to meetings, lawyers' offices, etc.
-took dinner over or restaurant gift cards
-cleaned her house for her
-took her out for girls' nights (where we treated)
-our husbands took turns hanging out with her son or having him join them and their sons
-our husbands helped with handyman stuff, computer stuff, car stuff, etc.
-most importantly, we listened as much as we could

I hope in this case the allegations turn out to be completely unfounded. I would suggest that she make a list of ways that she has avoided potentially compromising situations (for example, maybe she was the only one to ever do diaper changes or help kids in the bathroom). It may work to the husband's favour if due diligence was practiced, kwim? And it may give her something to do so that she feels more pro-active.

Even if the allegations aren't true, I'm sure your friend is already trying to figure out her game plan in case her husband is convicted. I'd just let her know that whatever happens, you'll be there to help her.

Good luck to your friend and her husband. It's not a nice spot to be in, and allegations like this are one thing I'm totally paranoid about .

[B Lou]

DBUG. Thank you so much for the advise. I have given her my ear so she can vent or just talk out her frustrations.

I worry about her. She is a great person and I don't feel she should have to going through this. I also understand that in this job you just never know when someone will make accusations.

They have sent out notifications and question airs out to not only present families but all past parents as well.

They have questioned one of their own children and want to question the other. But she is a little worried as this child has down syndrome. She feels she is standing behind her husband but must protect this child as well.

I just feel so very bad for her.

Thank you again. And thank you for letting me vent.