No Kids Of Our Own:(

[Unregistered]

I'm logged out due to the sensitive subject matter. I opened my daycare before my husband and I decided to have children.I thought it would be easier to have an already established business BEFORE I had children then opening after. With that being said,I have been opened for almost seven years and we don't have any children of our own.
We've put some rough years behind us,death of my mother and a long unemployment.
Our marriage really suffered through all that loss.We've done counseling,worked on it.Things are starting to look up,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We have been trying now for over a year to have kids,we both feel like so much is missing in our lives without them.Plus we aren't getting any younger!
I guess my question is-My job involves caring for other people's children. I try to keep it business as much as possible but when you've had the same child for 5,6 years you just have that bond with them. I'm finding extremely painful to get up every day and look at these children and not be sad we don't have our own yet.Any advice to make this less painful.I pray every night for our child and it would break my heart if it just wasn't meant for us to have children.Sometimes I think God gave me this career,this job because he knew I would never have my own,kind of seems like a cruel joke
Please,any advice would be helpful-my heart hurts just thining about this.
Thanks so much for listening.

[logged out for privacy]

I'm logged out due to the sensitive subject matter. I opened my daycare before my husband and I decided to have children.I thought it would be easier to have an already established business BEFORE I had children then opening after. With that being said,I have been opened for almost seven years and we don't have any children of our own.
We've put some rough years behind us,death of my mother and a long unemployment.
Our marriage really suffered through all that loss.We've done counseling,worked on it.Things are starting to look up,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We have been trying now for over a year to have kids,we both feel like so much is missing in our lives without them.Plus we aren't getting any younger!
I guess my question is-My job involves caring for other people's children. I try to keep it business as much as possible but when you've had the same child for 5,6 years you just have that bond with them. I'm finding extremely painful to get up every day and look at these children and not be sad we don't have our own yet.Any advice to make this less painful.I pray every night for our child and it would break my heart if it just wasn't meant for us to have children.Sometimes I think God gave me this career,this job because he knew I would never have my own,kind of seems like a cruel joke
Please,any advice would be helpful-my heart hurts just thining about this.
Thanks so much for listening.

Aww *hugs*, my husband and I are in a similar situation. Though I've always worked in childcare, I started my home daycare years ago for the same primary reason you did. Finally, a year or so ago we finally started trying... in the beginning it was no big deal, but these last few weeks I have been very emotional about the whole process - to the point I sometimes get sad when I see a pregnant woman - wondering, why can't that be me? I know it can be difficult. It can take years to get pregnant though (my mom tried 5 years for me), but there are different options out there in helping with pregnancy and such.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[lil angels]

I two did what you guys did with starting my daycare and then about two years after I had opened we started trying for a baby. We tryed for a two yrs then we decided to see a specialist. First my husband got tested and all was good so I knew that it fellon me.It was may when this happened and it was going to cost us a lot of money so I said we will start after the summer is over so I made my appointment for September. And by then it would be two and a half years that we had been trying. Low and behold igot pregnant that next month I had given up and thought I wasn't going to be able to have a baby. I ended up canceling my specialist app for an ob appt lo hear the heartbeat for the first time.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't try to hard it will prob happen. Hugs to both of you and good luck.

[DCBlessings27]

Prayers and hugs to both of the previous posters. I hope you get pregnant soon. It can be difficult to struggle with fertility. We do have a 3yo, but we struggled in trying to conceive a sibling for her. I started to think that maybe she was the only child we'd have. We tried for about a year before finally I was pregnant--10 weeks right now.

Hopefully, your doctor has done the tests and told you about medicines you can try. I wasn't having cycles, so I had all the tests done. The doctor couldn't figure out why I wasn't having cycles. He blamed it on the heat last summer. :confused: I had to take medicine to have a cycle and then take Clomid to be able to conceive.

I felt very depressed sometimes as I went to the ob's office to take a blood test in order to try yet another round of medicine. I once got so mad because a young pregnant woman was smoking in the parking lot.

I did pray a lot. I did also take a few months off during the time to get healthy/feel better about myself bc I was getting very depressed. I did Weight Watchers and lost 20 lbs. I had only been about 5 lbs over my highest bmi before losing weight, but I don't know if that effected my fertility or not. Finally, my prayers have been answered. I have another appt. this Friday though, and I always stress until I hear the heartbeat.

[jokalima]

Been there.

My advice will be STOP trying, don't think about it, just relax and let it be. That's what I did and it helped me. I also struggled with infertility, in my case it was both of us, my husband and myself. My husband had surgery and we had to wait around 10 months after he had his surgery and then I would start IVF. I did not had an option so I needed to wait, because I needed to wait I stopped thinking about getting pregnant at that moment and just saw it as something that could happen a year later or so, 2-3 months after my husband got surgery I got pregnant.
I never had doubt that I would get pregnant, I had the same feelings of sadness when other people got pregnant, I was mad, angry, sad and everything in between, but something I knew and I repeated to my self was
" I know my God has the power to give me a baby, I know I will have one because I know how powerful my God is" and that was my way of thinking.

Now I have my baby, sadly I almost lost my life when I had him and my uterus was removed to safe my life, is hard, but I know I asked God for one baby. Sometimes I think I was not supposed to get pregnant, but I was stubborn and did not leave God alone, kept bothering him night and day until he decided to give me one, just one and he is the light of my eyes.

Never, ever stop having faith!

[cheerfuldom]

Join an infertility support group! That really really helped me a lot. Most online parenting boards have a section like this too. You are not alone!

AND you never know what might happen. After struggling with infertility, we now have three kids and another on the way. There was many times before that where I didnt know if I would ever be a mom.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Many hugs. I feel your pain.

I have Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. I've lost all three of my pregnancies. I have such anxiety about being pregnant now that we are looking at adoption again.