Sandbox Woes

[Countrygal]

I made a wonderful sandbox for the kiddos - painted a tractor tire great bright colors and a mom helped me fill it with sand - put in trucks, buckets, digging tools - and in three minutes they were throwing it. I've had this issue every single time I let them play with sand. Let's see - about 20 times now. Every time they get it taken away for the day, second offense for a week. This time I got fed up and they haven't played in it since.

How do you teach 4yos that throwing sand is NOT ACCEPTABLE????

You all have such wonderful ideas and suggestions!

[daycare]

we play in the sandbox 3 times a day...

Sand stays in the sandbox...
You throw it or remove it from the sandbox you are done for that play period. I will allow for them to try again at the second play time period. If they do it again, they are done for the entire day....

I always give them the opportunity to show me at each play period that they CAN follow the simple rules. If not, then they simply cannot play in the sandbox.

I think that if you take it away for such a long time frame, like days or week, then they don't get the chance to learn to play in it. They do need to be reminded of the rules each and every time before they go in.

I say, where does the sand stay? they will tell me in the box. Then I will ask them, do we throw sand? and they say no, sand stays on the ground.....

[Blackcat31]

Sand stays in the sandbox...
You throw it or remove it from the sandbox you are done for that play period. I will allow for them to try again at the second play time period. If they do it again, they are done for the entire day....

This. Rinse and repeat until they get it.

[Countrygal]

Thanks, Daycare and BC, I was wondering about that. I just am getting so tired of them failing at obedience. And yes, I remind them every.single.time. But within minutes they are throwing it. I don't think they have succeeded in playing in it nicely even once (I had a different sandbox before, not as nice - I thought a bigger one would help). I might give your advice a try. Sometimes I just get so tired of this. My child(ren) has never been as disobedient as the dc kids are. EVER. There are only three plus mine, so what one does they all do. I also get upset because the youngest is 3 1/2 and I just feel they should be better behaved at their age. And I work and work and just get them to where they are improving and we get a long weekend..... right back to square one. GRRRRRRR Sorry - turned into a rant.

[beachgrl]

If mine dont play properly, i tell them the rule again, and then if it happens again, i tell them to walk away, that they are all done..they need lots of repeating but also quick and logical/consistent consequences and they will learn. Mine hardly ever throw it, they are always taking it somewhere else

[Hunni Bee]

Thanks, Daycare and BC, I was wondering about that. I just am getting so tired of them failing at obedience. And yes, I remind them every.single.time. But within minutes they are throwing it. I don't think they have succeeded in playing in it nicely even once (I had a different sandbox before, not as nice - I thought a bigger one would help). I might give your advice a try. Sometimes I just get so tired of this. My child(ren) has never been as disobedient as the dc kids are. EVER. There are only three plus mine, so what one does they all do. I also get upset because the youngest is 3 1/2 and I just feel they should be better behaved at their age. And I work and work and just get them to where they are improving and we get a long weekend..... right back to square one. GRRRRRRR Sorry - turned into a rant.

I definitely feel you. I'm starting to be a hard-a** about stuff like that. I don't mind giving reminders, but this "I'm going to do what I want" stuff is wack .

Finger goes in milk. "Don't stick your finger in the cup, it will spill."

Finger goes in milk again. Milk goes down the drain.

[mac60]

And this is why I have never had a sandbox, I didn't have one for my own kids. Messy, becomes a kitty litter box for the strays,etc. And really, at 4 yrs old they should get it the first time, and if they don't they can watch. It drives me nuts the daily repeating of the rules for outside.

[Countrygal]

I definitely feel you. I'm starting to be a hard-a** about stuff like that. I don't mind giving reminders, but this "I'm going to do what I want" stuff is wack .

Finger goes in milk. "Don't stick your finger in the cup, it will spill."

Finger goes in milk again. Milk goes down the drain.

This is exactly my kids. DCG got in her van at p/u yesterday and mom said "let dcb shut the door today - he likes to do it,too" Dcg shuts the door. Dcm tells dcg to open door, she "can't reach it" this time. Dcm opens door. Dcb shuts door. IMMEDIATELY dcg opens door and shuts it again with this totally smug, "see, I can get away with it" look on her face. Dcm says"I guess she could open the door" and that's it.

I guess I have outlived my life..... IMO, kids should not get away with these kinds of behavior. Honestly, if it had been mine it would have been an immediate spanking. It was an act of outright defiance. I have quite a bit of trouble with this dcg and obedience.

Let me give you an example and what I did - maybe a specific example would help.

Yesterday we played with squirt guns - a special treat. I went over the rules. No spraying in the face and no drinking out of the gun. I gave two reminders during the play time. Right at the END of the playtime the dcg drank out of her gun. Now, we were using a mop bucket (I had scrubbed it, but still....) for the water and the guns were NOT new..... But she did this AS we were putting them away for the day. No chance of just "taking them away". Let me add she knew exactly what she was doing. That's why she did it when she did because she knew I'd take it away if she did it any sooner. If I turn my back or don't watch her for a second, this is how she is.

At first I was thinking of making her sit out next time we took out the guns but decided she needed something more immediate. So she didn't get the brownie everyone else had after supper.

What would you have done in this case?

[Heidi]

This is exactly my kids. DCG got in her van at p/u yesterday and mom said "let dcb shut the door today - he likes to do it,too" Dcg shuts the door. Dcm tells dcg to open door, she "can't reach it" this time. Dcm opens door. Dcb shuts door. IMMEDIATELY dcg opens door and shuts it again with this totally smug, "see, I can get away with it" look on her face. Dcm says"I guess she could open the door" and that's it.

I guess I have outlived my life..... IMO, kids should not get away with these kinds of behavior. Honestly, if it had been mine it would have been an immediate spanking. It was an act of outright defiance. I have quite a bit of trouble with this dcg and obedience.

Let me give you an example and what I did - maybe a specific example would help.

Yesterday we played with squirt guns - a special treat. I went over the rules. No spraying in the face and no drinking out of the gun. I gave two reminders during the play time. Right at the END of the playtime the dcg drank out of her gun. Now, we were using a mop bucket (I had scrubbed it, but still....) for the water and the guns were NOT new..... But she did this AS we were putting them away for the day. No chance of just "taking them away". Let me add she knew exactly what she was doing. That's why she did it when she did because she knew I'd take it away if she did it any sooner. If I turn my back or don't watch her for a second, this is how she is.

At first I was thinking of making her sit out next time we took out the guns but decided she needed something more immediate. So she didn't get the brownie everyone else had after supper.

What would you have done in this case?

I am waiting for the answers on this one! You probably shouldn't have given this example under a full moon. lovethis


Honestly, this is a huge part of the reason I termed my fearsome foursome. The "I dont HAVE to do what you say" attititude that is totally acceptable at home. 4x over it's spilled over to here.

I don't know if I have any advice for you...I will ponder it This IS the same little angel who recently ripped up those lacing cards, right?

[Countrygal]

I am waiting for the answers on this one! You probably shouldn't have given this example under a full moon. lovethis


Honestly, this is a huge part of the reason I termed my fearsome foursome. The "I dont HAVE to do what you say" attititude that is totally acceptable at home. 4x over it's spilled over to here.

I don't know if I have any advice for you...I will ponder it This IS the same little angel who recently ripped up those lacing cards, right?

Yes, and pushed dcb off the side of the slide...... I am at my wits end. I know what she needs, but I'm not allowed.....

[countrymom]

we play in the sandbox 3 times a day...

Sand stays in the sandbox...
You throw it or remove it from the sandbox you are done for that play period. I will allow for them to try again at the second play time period. If they do it again, they are done for the entire day....

I always give them the opportunity to show me at each play period that they CAN follow the simple rules. If not, then they simply cannot play in the sandbox.

I think that if you take it away for such a long time frame, like days or week, then they don't get the chance to learn to play in it. They do need to be reminded of the rules each and every time before they go in.

I say, where does the sand stay? they will tell me in the box. Then I will ask them, do we throw sand? and they say no, sand stays on the ground.....

thats what I do EXCEPT yesterday one of the littles was throwing the sand on herself and calling for dog to come and lick it off, it was so funny, i was dying of laughter.

[Blackcat31]

I know what she needs, but I'm not allowed.....

::::::

Let me give you an example and what I did - maybe a specific example would help.

Yesterday we played with squirt guns - a special treat. I went over the rules. No spraying in the face and no drinking out of the gun. I gave two reminders during the play time. Right at the END of the playtime the dcg drank out of her gun. Now, we were using a mop bucket (I had scrubbed it, but still....) for the water and the guns were NOT new..... But she did this AS we were putting them away for the day. No chance of just "taking them away". Let me add she knew exactly what she was doing. That's why she did it when she did because she knew I'd take it away if she did it any sooner. If I turn my back or don't watch her for a second, this is how she is.

At first I was thinking of making her sit out next time we took out the guns but decided she needed something more immediate. So she didn't get the brownie everyone else had after supper.

What would you have done in this case?

Ah Hun, you are waaaaay nicer than I would have been. I would have done the no brownie consequence AND she would have not been allowed to play with the squirt guns the next 2 times we had them out.

I deal with lot of negative behaviors from both children and parents () but I do NOT deal with disobedience simply because the parent has tailored the world around the child's wants and NOT THEIR NEEDS.

Uh uh, no way Jose`...Deliberate actions like hers would be nipped in the bud IMMEDIATELY. Perfectly understandable from a toddler learning about the world and boundaries around them but not from an older child who does that kind of thing on purpose.

[Heidi]

::::::



Ah Hun, you are waaaaay nicer than I would have been. I would have done the no brownie consequence AND she would have not been allowed to play with the squirt guns the next 2 times we had them out.

I deal with lot of negative behaviors from both children and parents () but I do NOT deal with disobedience simply because the parent has tailored the world around the child's wants and NOT THEIR NEEDS.

Uh uh, no way Jose`...Deliberate actions like hers would be nipped in the bud IMMEDIATELY. Perfectly understandable from a toddler learning about the world and boundaries around them but not from an older child who does that kind of thing on purpose.

Black Cat is my Minnesota Twin!!!! ::::::

[Hunni Bee]

This is exactly my kids. DCG got in her van at p/u yesterday and mom said "let dcb shut the door today - he likes to do it,too" Dcg shuts the door. Dcm tells dcg to open door, she "can't reach it" this time. Dcm opens door. Dcb shuts door. IMMEDIATELY dcg opens door and shuts it again with this totally smug, "see, I can get away with it" look on her face. Dcm says"I guess she could open the door" and that's it.

I guess I have outlived my life..... IMO, kids should not get away with these kinds of behavior. Honestly, if it had been mine it would have been an immediate spanking. It was an act of outright defiance. I have quite a bit of trouble with this dcg and obedience.

Let me give you an example and what I did - maybe a specific example would help.

Yesterday we played with squirt guns - a special treat. I went over the rules. No spraying in the face and no drinking out of the gun. I gave two reminders during the play time. Right at the END of the playtime the dcg drank out of her gun. Now, we were using a mop bucket (I had scrubbed it, but still....) for the water and the guns were NOT new..... But she did this AS we were putting them away for the day. No chance of just "taking them away". Let me add she knew exactly what she was doing. That's why she did it when she did because she knew I'd take it away if she did it any sooner. If I turn my back or don't watch her for a second, this is how she is.

At first I was thinking of making her sit out next time we took out the guns but decided she needed something more immediate. So she didn't get the brownie everyone else had after supper.

What would you have done in this case?

"Oh my, DCG, it looks like you're not playing with the toys very nicely. I dont think you will be playing with anymore toys today. Maybe tomorrow you can try again".

[christinaskids]

I "ground" my older kids about 3 on up. I feel like it works the best for me and I have one child that has anger issues and he has hit his sister so I have grounded him from playing outside for a few days which he hated. Four is about the age that grounding and taking away privledges becomes appropriate.