Tell Me I'm Wrong, Cuz I Know I Am....But Stilll......

[DaisyMamma]

Still...I need to vent.
I have THaT DCF who has their kids here as often as possible, first to arrive and last to leave. They get here a half hour early and dont need to. Mom puts SA on the bus at my house, but doesn't need to leave for half hr. So she brings DCB1 in and hangs around for the half hour. No other kids show till that half hr later. I know she's going to do it everyday, but everyday it irritates me. That's my half hr. I don't want to chat it up with you, when I should be enjoying my tea and quiet!
All I have to do is say don't do it anymore, right? not easy for me.
Pickup comes around and everyday I know they might be here a half hr past all the other kids, its in their contract and everyday I say to myself, I'm going to be mad if they aren't here at 530. So everyday I'm mad from 530-6 while I wait. Then I'm mad for a while after, which isnt fair to my family.
I tell myself I need to accept their hours or term. Ask them to not come in the morning, as the bus goes by her house. Or tell them I now close ar 530 Sharp and let them either find new care or pickup at 530.
They did, however, tell me 530 Thurs and Fri. Rarely happens of course....., today I had an appt. They came at 545 and I was then late. I did call dcm at 540 and say what happened to thrs/fri. She was very calm despite my obvious annoyance. She says dcd is on the way. I guess we will have to talk about this tomorrow.
Now what do I say tomorrow? Here's my big chance ...

Why do I do this to myself everyday? It's not worth the stress. They are the highest paying family and are friends of family that come to Christmas, thanksgiving, etc. The first family I had. In childcare.
This is making me resent them a.d they kind of didn't even do anything wrong!

[sharlan]

The parents will have no idea unless YOU tell them.

Don't get angry at yourself or at them. Take a deep breath and tell Mom that the current situation (early drop-off or late pick-up) isn't working for your family anymore and you need to change things.

[AmyLeigh]

All my dcf's are long time friends, so I know the tightrope that needs to be walked at times.

I would just tell them how much I value their friendship as well as their business. But that being said, I need their child(ren) gone by 5:30 as I have a personal life that needs to be tended to. Or that I won't accept the child before whatever time is really needed. Or both, come to think of it. If it's not interfering with their work schedule, they have no reason to complain, right? I would also mention how much I enjoy chatting with her, but could we get together over coffee one Sunday morning, so we could actually have a conversation without the kiddos running around? And don't forget the big cheesy smile.
Because the situation has gone on for so long, they think nothing of just bringing/picking up the child whenever they want to. They will continue as long as they think it's okay with you. This is what causes friendships to be ruined by business, lack of honest communication.

[Soccermom]

I had a DCM who used to want to chat in the early AM and always wondered why on earth she was dropping off so early when she obviously didn't need to be to work that early. After a little while I started saying things like - (I would love to chat but I have to get my day going because I have big plans for the kids today and need to get a head start. Have a good day at work. _ _ _ _ _ say goodbye to Mommy.) And then I would grab the little one and go to another room. I would even set my kettle to boil in my kitchen for the exact time she would come in and would say (Oh my tea is ready, come on _ _ _ _ _ _ let's go make some tea. Have a good day at work!) and walk away. I even had my husband call to me one morning - Honey can you come give me a hand.......LOL!
After a week and a half or so she got the hint that mornings were not a good time for me to chat.
As for the evenings, I know just how you feel. I had agreed to take a child on occasion until 5:30 even though I close at 5:00. I assumed (you know what they say about assuming...) that it would only be when they really needed it but they took advantage and would stop for groceries or whatever on the way home. It made me so mad. Finally I just said that I was taking an art class and that my daughters now had early activities in the evenings and we didn't have time to do homework if I was babysitting everynight until 5:30. So I agreed to 2late pick ups per week and 2 only.
They were fine with that.

[wdmmom]

I would simply tell dcm that you are needing to make some changes to the existing arrangement and they can accept the changes or provide the required notice to terminate services.

The changes taking place will be:

*Contracted hours. These hours will be according to their work hours and will include the necessary travel time.

Example: DCM works 7 to 5 and DCD works 6 to 330. DCM may drop off at 730am each day and dcd will be required to pick up by 4pm each day. (Raise or lower their rate to compensate for more or less hours.)

*Pick up and drop off policy. Arrivals and departures need to be orchestrated to avoid congestion in the driveway and without excess traffic for the neighbors. This means that arrivals and departures need to be done in an orderly fashion. Upon entering, children will have the opportunity to hang up jackets, take of shoes and say goodbye to mom or dad. If there are questions that mom or dad have, they will be required to schedule an appointment. There are no discussions that will take place at the door and no parent will be allowed to "hang out" for extended periods of time.

*Set OPEN and CLOSED times. If this family is arriving a half hour before they need to, make your opening time that half hour later everyday. Closing time will be based on the time they get off work, not when they want. This should alleviate you being angry everyday.

FEES: Arrivals before opening time and departure after closing time will result in a fee of $1 per minute and is due upon receipt of invoice.

Hope this helps!