Things Have Gone to Crap Here Again

[sahm2three]

My 2 yo screamer has been AWFUL. His dad is gone (deployed) and I am guessing things at home aren't very smooth. So I know his little life has been turned upside down, but he has been a complete challenge from day one. My 8 month old colicky dcbaby isn't napping in the afternoon. That seems to be his fussy time. So my 10.5 hour day feels like 3 times that. We have two new boys who are a challenge at nap time too. I am so completely worn out. If I had a way to quit and close the daycare, I would do it and not look back. But I don't have that option. I feel like this job has changed me. I don't remember a time when I have been more miserable. I wish I had a money tree. I really do. I wish I could retrain my mind and heart to just do what I need for me and my family and forget what everyone around me wants. I am constantly sacrificing myself, and I feel spread so thin.

[Crystal]

awwwww.....sorry you are going through this stuff again. hugs to you, and know you can always vent here.

[sahm2three]

And I have cannot believe how out of control I am of MY business. I am letting everyone around me RUN ME. But I don't know how to take control back. Or if it is even possible.

[Blackcat31]

And I have cannot believe how out of control I am of MY business. I am letting everyone around me RUN ME. But I don't know how to take control back. Or if it is even possible.

pause and take a deep breath.

Focus on ONLY what is immediate and most important.

Take one minute, hour and day at a time.

......keep breathing. And keep venting.

It is miraculous how just knowing others support you or have been there too makes a difference.

((((hugs))))

[sahm2three]

pause and take a deep breath.

Focus on ONLY what is immediate and most important.

Take one minute, hour and day at a time.

......keep breathing. And keep venting.

It is miraculous how just knowing others support you or have been there too makes a difference.

((((hugs))))

Thank you both for your support. The biggest thing right now is, the screaming. From both of these boys. I can't even get away from it at nap. It seems like the 2 yo is having nightmares at nap time, and wakes up screaming about 20 mins after we put him down and seems terrified. Then it is nearly impossible to get him back to sleep. And the colicky baby doesn't nap in the afternoon. No matter what we do we can't seem to get him on the schedule. I feel so defeated. I don't get much help at home. So my day carries over into my night. I don't have a life. I don't feel like I have that right, because I have always put everyone else ahead of myself and now they all expect it and have the attitued that "Mom will take care of everything." Ugh. I don't know where to begin making a change.

[Blackcat31]

Thank you both for your support. The biggest thing right now is, the screaming. From both of these boys. I can't even get away from it at nap. It seems like the 2 yo is having nightmares at nap time, and wakes up screaming about 20 mins after we put him down and seems terrified. Then it is nearly impossible to get him back to sleep. And the colicky baby doesn't nap in the afternoon. No matter what we do we can't seem to get him on the schedule. I feel so defeated. I don't get much help at home. So my day carries over into my night. I don't have a life. I don't feel like I have that right, because I have always put everyone else ahead of myself and now they all expect it and have the attitued that "Mom will take care of everything." Ugh. I don't know where to begin making a change.

So can you put the 8.5 month old in the crib or PNP and just let him be there for 30 minutes or so....even if he screams? I don't know what licensing regs are where you are at, but honestly for your own sanity (and the other kids') you should be able to put him somewhere safe (crib/PNP) and close the door and even if he screams, let him be for a bit so you can get a break.

I feel for you as I too have a screamer, but I talked with his mom and she agreed that it is NOT healthy for him (or for me) if he doesn't learn to self soothe even just a little bit.

As far as the 2 year old goes, is he having sleep issues at home as well? Is he sleeping in a darkened area with maybe some white noise in the background? I think re-thinking or changing up the sleep environment might help a little.

Is replacing these kids an option?

I also think you REALLY need to find a way to take a day off or even a half day and do something for YOU! It isn't good for anyone if you aren't healthy. You are the tree trunk that supports everything else so it is absolutely vital that you take care of yourself.

Do you have an assistant or partner so that maybe you can take the 8.5 year old out for a long leisurely walk so he maybe will sleep and you will atleast feel like you are getting out or getting a small break during the day?

I soooo wish I had some better solutions for you but I don't. Just remember everything will ALWAYS seem overwhelming if you only focus on the big picture and the negative.

Start training your brain to think or each day as a do over. Each day should begin fresh with no negative attachments from the day before. Mind over matter is a very powerful thing. ...and if it doesn't work for you, then there is always something new to try the next day.....just keep trying. That is what REALLY counts.

[SilverSabre25]

there must be something in the air right now because i logged in awhile ago and found the top five or six posts all in the same "things ****" vein--and one of them is mine!

Vent away, my friend, it's therapeutic. (((HUGS))

[Meyou]

No advice just hugs. <3

[Soccermom]

**HUGS** I know exactly how you feel. There are days when I wish I could just be a SAHM to my 3 little ones. I often find myself being impatient with my own kids and I too feel like I am less of a mother to my own children because I am so busy with all the DCKs. It has changed my kids too, I find them more frustrated and angry. They are constantly fighting with each other too now...I think because it is a way for them to vent their feelings. They used to be the best of friends. My oldest daughter has taken to spending her afternoons in her room alone with the door shut...she is 9. This is not how I imagined motherhood being but some days are better than others and everyday we learn from the mistakes we made yesterday.
When I feel like I can't take it anymore I grab my own kids and hug them as hard as I can and whisper - I love you very much. It lifts my mood a little.