Closing Because Of An Emergency

[jokalima]

Early this year I got a call from my country, they were telling us ( my self and family ) that someone very dear to me was extremely ill, that we should pack get on a plane and go say goodbye because we would not see her alive again. That night I cried,cried and cried, could not eat, could not concentrate on nothing. It was not only what was happening back home, it was me thinking "OK, now what do I do with the DC parents" So I just pushed my self to tell them the next morning ( a Friday ) that the DC was closing for @ least a week, explained to them the situation and told them it was basically out of my hands, honestly I rather loose a day care parent than not be able to see a love one for the last time. Anyways, one of the parents was very understanding, the other....Well i am just going to say I stayed crying when he left the house. He did not say anything but sometimes actions hurt even more than words. When he came back for pickup he was just mad, again did not say anything but he treated me letting me know how upset he was, like I was doing something so bad. I even had a list of other day cares that i had called during the day and they were willing to take them temporarily, he said "Do you know this people?" With a frown on his face, he even said in front of the other parent that he had called a Day Care Center during the day but sadly they did not have any space for his son. I was just so sad, I've been giving this family services for over a year now, they know I am always there for them, I take care of their kid and they always say how much they love me. Shouldn't they know that this is not a center? That I run this by myself but that I also have family and that I love my family more than anything in life?
Finally my family member got better, she can't walk, she is in bed, but I am so happy she is still with us. When I was out I was decided to terminate the family, but then when I saw them again I just couldn't do it, did not know how to.

Ok, practically vented there it was not the intention. But do you have any policies on things like this? Will it count as vacation time if it was not a vacation? How do you deal with both parents like this and the time you are closed?

Thanks

[Heidi]

If you are unpaid for this time, and you would like to take a vacation later in the year, I think you could wait until things cool down with this family (or they leave) and arrange your vacation.

You did nothing wrong! I'm glad to hear your family member is doing better!

[wdmmom]

Things happen. It's life. MOST parents are understanding. Sure it might prove an inconvenience but when I sign clients up, I always tell them to have a back-up plan...whether that be a family member, another provider or they have the flexibility to take time off work.

The first year I opened up, I lost my grandfather. ALL of my families were completely understanding and I took 2 days off. I even got bereavement cards from some of the families.


And, our home caught fire last October. Thankfully it was just the siding and nothing was lost and we weren't displaced because of it but the house reaked so bad, I didn't want the little ones breathing that in. I got Service Master in here and I spent the day Lysoling and Febreezing and laundering everything.

I can imagine that if I needed to take a week off (unpaid or not), there would be a few that would be upset but not to the point they would cancel services over it.

[jokalima]

Yes, it was unpaid time off and I have nothing planned right now but i am just wondering if they are going to get upset when I need time again. Is the type of parents that always bring there child to DC even when they have time off, I know they are paying for it but wouldn't you love to stay home @ least one day with your child?

[e.j.]

But do you have any policies on things like this? Will it count as vacation time if it was not a vacation? How do you deal with both parents like this and the time you are closed?

I don't have a specific policy on things like this but I do have one that states I do not provide back-up care. It includes a reminder that parents should have a back-up plan in case I have to cancel day care due to an unexpected emergency.

Personally, I would probably count the week as vacation time for two reasons: 1. When I make the decision to close the day care for any reason, I don't charge for the day. My vacation weeks are also unpaid. I wouldn't be able to afford an additional week on top of my planned vacation weeks.
2. I wouldn't want to inconvenience my dc parents any more than I had to. To make up for a week of unplanned time off, I'd just use it as vacation time. That's just me; not saying you should do the same necessarily.

As far as the parents are concerned, it's too bad that dcd wasn't more empathetic given your family member's illness but I can understand why he was upset. Having been a dc parent myself, I know that it can be really upsetting to be given short notice that your day care will be closed with little warning - even if it's just for a day or a week. As a working parent, if you don't have family or friends nearby who can watch your child, it can be a stressful situation. I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving my kids with someone I didn't know so I would have used my own paid leave or vacation time to cover that week. I would probably understand the dcd's upset but if he didn't get over it fairly quickly, I'd have a chat with him and ask if he felt it was time to move on to another provider.

You said all of this happened earlier this year and you're just posting about it now. Is the dcd still angry about the fact that you closed or are you still upset about his reaction at the time?

[littlemissmuffet]

Sadly, in this business, we sometimes get to see how truly ignorant some people can be.

I wouldn't discuss this any firther with DCD. Close for the week and go be with your family. As a matter of fact, upon returning I would terminate. DCD's reaction was completely and utterly uncalled for. I am SO SICK of people treating providers like garbage... we're human beings just trying to make a living.... taking care of YOUR kids. Give us some respect already!!!!!

I have in my contract 2 weeks paid vacation, 5 paid sick/personal days and 1 week unpaid "vacation" that I can use for emergencies, etc. However, even if I didn't have a back up emergency plan I wouldn't care - FAMILY FIRST... *MINE* not yours.

I hope everything works out for you. Please, go and be with your family and leave the daycare drama behind. *hug*

[jokalima]

You said all of this happened earlier this year and you're just posting about it now. Is the dcd still angry about the fact that you closed or are you still upset about his reaction at the time?

He is not angry anymore ( that I know ) it happened maybe 1 1/2 months ago so maybe I am still sensitive about it. I do understand what you say about not wanting no one else to care about their children when DC is closed but then maybe what they need is a DC Center not a family home day care. Also I know every one has the right to be upset, but talk to me about it it will make me fill better if they do. The thing is I am shy, very shy and don't like confrontation so I just let it go but it still hurts because it was a VERY hard time for me personally. Then when I came back, I have my own daily report cards that I prepared my self, when I came back they had made new ones for me and send me like hundreds of them, I think it was a nice gesture but why change my reports?
There was another time that I had to close for one day for legal issues, I have them notice and reminded them several times, the week before I gave them a last reminder and they said I had not told them that I needed a day so that was another problem.

[cheerfuldom]

I'm sorry that you have had to go thru this. Unfortunately, most of us do face the same thing at one time or another. I think you just have to focus on the big picture and not let the moods or actions of the daycare parents rattle you so much. Like you said, this situation was unavoidable and you did what you could to smooth things over with the parents. But dont feel that you have to kill yourself trying to make them happy all the time because you will never be able to do that. The only thing that you can do is make sure that you and your family have their needs met first. If that matches with what works for the daycare, fantastic. If it doesnt, you just have to have peace knowing that you choose the thing that was truly important and if a parent cant accept that, then that doesnt mean you did anything wrong.

I have had a couple of emergencies in the past few years and I do what you do, try and help the parents deal with it as best as possible....but then after that, whoever is upset is just going to have to be upset, its not going to keep me down. I have used emergency time as both paid vacation and unpaid time off (if I didnt have any paid vacation left).

[jokalima]

IDK I think they might be a little insensitive, I have a problem, well I consider it a problem, I am infertile, I had my son and can't have more kids, my son is not 2 yet. I have struggled with being infertile since I got out of the Hospital, pregnancy is a very hard topic for me, I even have a friend that is pregnant at this moment and I can't talk to her about it so I just don't talk to her at all. So one day here comes a DCM and tells me she is expecting, I cried, I could not sleep etc... Just to know the next day it was a joke and a very bad one for me.

[cheerfuldom]

You said all of this happened earlier this year and you're just posting about it now. Is the dcd still angry about the fact that you closed or are you still upset about his reaction at the time?

He is not angry anymore ( that I know ) it happened maybe 1 1/2 months ago so maybe I am still sensitive about it. I do understand what you say about not wanting no one else to care about their children when DC is closed but then maybe what they need is a DC Center not a family home day care. Also I know every one has the right to be upset, but talk to me about it it will make me fill better if they do. The thing is I am shy, very shy and don't like confrontation so I just let it go but it still hurts because it was a VERY hard time for me personally. Then when I came back, I have my own daily report cards that I prepared my self, when I came back they had made new ones for me and send me like hundreds of them, I think it was a nice gesture but why change my reports?
There was another time that I had to close for one day for legal issues, I have them notice and reminded them several times, the week before I gave them a last reminder and they said I had not told them that I needed a day so that was another problem.

What do you mean that they are sending YOU reports?

Secondly, you sound like a really nice lady so I dont want this next statement to pour salt in a fresh wound......but, I really think you need to work hard on sticking up for yourself, putting yourself out there, and not being so afraid of confrontations that you let yourself be cornered by bully parents. Nobody "likes" confrontations but it can be a necessary evil in this type of job. You MUST do this otherwise daycare will just burn you out. PLEASE, for the sake of your sanity and your future, start working on your backbone.

With that in mind, I would reinstitute MY daily reports and would not accept anything as replacements from the parents. That sounds very passive aggressive on their part.

[cheerfuldom]

IDK I think they might be a little insensitive, I have a problem, well I consider it a problem, I am infertile, I had my son and can't have more kids, my son is not 2 yet. I have struggled with being infertile since I got out of the Hospital, pregnancy is a very hard topic for me, I even have a friend that is pregnant at this moment and I can't talk to her about it so I just don't talk to her at all. So one day here comes a DCM and tells me she is expecting, I cried, I could not sleep etc... Just to know the next day it was a joke and a very bad one for me.

WHAT? DCM said she was expecting but then said that was supposed to be a joke? what is going on with these people?

[jokalima]

What do you mean that they are sending YOU reports?

Secondly, you sound like a really nice lady so I dont want this next statement to pour salt in a fresh wound......but, I really think you need to work hard on sticking up for yourself, putting yourself out there, and not being so afraid of confrontations that you let yourself be cornered by bully parents. Nobody "likes" confrontations but it can be a necessary evil in this type of job. You MUST do this otherwise daycare will just burn you out. PLEASE, for the sake of your sanity and your future, start working on your backbone.

With that in mind, I would reinstitute MY daily reports and would not accept anything as replacements from the parents. That sounds very passive aggressive on their part.

What I mean with the Daily Reports is that they went to a site and made new ones, added what they thought was necessary for them I guess and brought them to me, like a lot of them. Is not what I need, as a matter of fact I was just happy with mine because It had all I wanted it to had, but I accepted them and I am using them, again, did not want to sound rude or offensive with them by not accepting the reports. I think you are absolutely right on what you say about me, I have been doing this for a little more than a year so I still have a lot to learn about dealing with parents but I really **** at it.

[jokalima]

WHAT? DCM said she was expecting but then said that was supposed to be a joke? what is going on with these people?

Yes it was an AFD joke, which is OK but you have to know to who you make joke to don't you think?

[e.j.]

He is not angry anymore ( that I know ) it happened maybe 1 1/2 months ago so maybe I am still sensitive about it. I do understand what you say about not wanting no one else to care about their children when DC is closed but then maybe what they need is a DC Center not a family home day care.

You're probably right about this so the next time you start to think about the situation, remember that he and his wife did make the choice to place their child in fcc vs. a center. Every type of child care has its pros and cons. He just experienced one of the cons of fcc. Sounds like he's been able to get past it. Now it's your turn!

Also I know every one has the right to be upset, but talk to me about it it will make me fill better if they do. The thing is I am shy, very shy and don't like confrontation so I just let it go but it still hurts because it was a VERY hard time for me personally.

I can empathize; I'm the same way and I generally tend to avoid confrontation whenever possible. The problem is, it's been almost 2 months since this happened and even though the dcd seems to be over it, you're still feeling hurt and upset by what happened. It really isn't worth the time and energy you're giving it at this point. If you can't put it behind you, talking to the dcd to clear the air may help you get past it. Think of it as "communication" instead of "confrontation". Anytime I've been bothered enough to speak up to someone, I've felt so much better after talking things over with them. Once you get the hang of standing up for yourself, it really does feel good.

Then when I came back, I have my own daily report cards that I prepared my self, when I came back they had made new ones for me and send me like hundreds of them, I think it was a nice gesture but why change my reports?

Try not to take it personally. These parents may have found that they want different or additional info about their child's day that your original form didn't provide. I'd try to work with the form if it makes them happy and if it isn't too much of an inconvenience for you. If you really would prefer not to use their form, just explain that it isn't working for you so you're going back to your original format but will answer any questions about their child's day verbally.

There was another time that I had to close for one day for legal issues, I have them notice and reminded them several times, the week before I gave them a last reminder and they said I had not told them that I needed a day so that was another problem.

If you want to keep working with them and this kind of thing continues to happen, just have them sign any future notices to indicate they've received the information. Place the signed copy in their file in case they claim you never told them abut a closing.