DCD Walks In And Announces That DCB Is Potty Training ...

[DaycareMom]

DCB is 2.5. They told me about a week or so ago that they were just practicing with him and having him sit on the potty every time they changed his diaper.

This morning DCB walks in with underwear on and DCD says they are starting potty training and that there are a couple extra pairs of underwear in case of accidents.

So I ask him "how is he doing at home?" and DCD responds with, "Great! He stayed dry from nap time until bed time yesterday."

There was a note in the bag from DCM with the extra underwear saying that she asks him every half hour if he has to go and keeps reminding him to tell her.

I couldn't really talk with him at the time since there were other parents present but I think this is crazy. He has a good few hours for 1 day and they bring him in underwear?!?!?!

It is in my PHB that DCKs have to be doing well at home before starting here, but they seem to think that he is doing great.

How do I tell this family tactfully that they need to do the "dirty work"?

[CheekyChick]

I think you need to change your PH to state EXACTLY what is required to wear underwear at daycare. Example:

1. Child must go two weeks accident free prior to wearing underwear at daycare.

2. Child must ask to use the restroom by him/herself.

I would absolutely e-mail this family and tell them their son is not ready to wear underwear at daycare until he is accident free for two weeks and able to tell YOU when he needs to use the restroom.

[littlemommy]

I just went thru this and it ended with the parents leaving. They said she did great at home, but she never told them she had to go, they just took her every thirty minutes. I explained that in a group care setting I can't take her that often and she must wear pullups until she is able to tell me. They were mad, and the following week dcd called and yelled at me, saying Iwas lazy and they didn't want to buy pullups. I said that she has never once told me and Ican't have other kids paying in pee. They gave their two week notice. I bought pullups for the next two Weeks and they left.

Sometimes no matter what they will get so stuck in their ways that they will have zero respect for your home and business.

[littlemommy]

I also had that in my contract...but they didn't care. They wanted her in underwear right away. Sorry, not in my house!!

[DaycareMom]

The only problem with that is I really can't lose this family. Aside from this, I have had a wonderful experience with them. The little boy is pretty good and well behaved and the parents always pay me on time. I am losing another family in a few months and I only have him and one other DCG ...

[SunshineMama]

I am in this same predicament!

DCD told me that after Memorial day he would like his twins to come and wear underwear only, and if they have an accident then they can go back to diapers for the rest of the day.

So I am supposed to just let each one of them urinate once in my home per day before putting them back in pull ups or diapers?

I said I would give it a try because I just termed one child and I can't afford to lose 2 more at once. BUT I have a ton of ads out and interviews so if they want to take it there I suppose I will have to.

These children are not even successful at staying dry at home! DCD thinks they are just being lazy and choosing to go in their diapers. Which MAY be the case, but I still dont want to deal with that in a group care setting

My PHB says 2 weeks of them telling me without accidents, THEN underwear. Clearly they are ignoring my PHB.

Sorry to vent on your thread- I dont get these unrealistic parents who want us to do their dirty work.

I am actually thinking about adding a fee- if they pee on my floor they have to pay $5.00 or something like that, each time, to pay for the cosst of me hiring a professional cleaner.

[SilverSabre25]

I have been going through this for a YEAR. A year and 4 months, actually.

The week before dcg turned 2 dcm announced that as of her second bday, dcg would be potty trained, and that meant underwear as of her second bday!! This, of a child that had never, not once, shown even the slightest sign of being ready to potty train!!

So instead she started coming in Pull-Ups. For a YEAR we've been trying to potty train this child--me the daycare way (offering at regular REASONABLE intervals and mostly waiting for success at home and for dcg to TELL me that she needed to go. Never. Not one OUNCE of success until two weeks ago.

She's been doing "okay" at home (per the parents) for a long time--she's in underwear at home and doesn't have many accidents! She's potty trained at home! We MAKE her sit on the potty for ten minutes every half hour! She's potty trained ! Why can't you [meaning ME] do this at daycare?! This is making us angry! said the parents.

I assured them I was doing what I could. I did start ASKING her more often after a conversation with the dcps. But that was just ASKING and I refused to either force her to sit or ask on a schedule (really...it's every 20 minutes to 1 hour depending on when it occurs to me).

And then, like magic...she started going sometimes when I would ask her. She started staying dry all morning, or all afternoon. She started at the same time to tell her parents, and eventually me, that she needed to poop.

DCP's and I have agreed that they have bought their last box of Pull-Ups (although I *might* insist on some solution for naptime) because NOW I feel that dcg is ready. NOW she's able to manage her clothing and manage her body. She can tell me, she can recognize that her body needs to go EVEN IF she does still need a few reminders. I can stand reminding her.

Reassure your dcps that they can spend months, even a YEAR potty training a child who isn't ready, or they can spend a few days or weeks on a child who IS ready. Potty training is physiological NOT mental. No amount of punishing, begging, bribing, pleading, or deal-making is going to potty train a child whose body is not ready for it.

[Childminder]

Try putting the underwear on inside the diaper and send them home all wet and nasty with a note that restates your policy.

[Crystal]

Try it for today. You might be pleasantly surprised and find that He just might be ready. If not, tell parents at pick up that it didn't go well and that he needs to wear pull-ups or diapers at daycare until he is fully ready.

[momma2girls]

I have a very strict policy that I added in my contract about 3 yrs. ago. I had one family and others that have wanted me to do all the work. If you or anyone would like to see how I have it worded, I would be happy to write it all down for you. It covers yourself, that you will not be potty training til child is ready and understands the concept of it.

[SunshineMama]

I think I will bring up the physiological aspect to mom first and let her handle dad. She told me that she didnt think her kids could recognize physically when they have to go, and dcd think's they are just being "lazy."

[wdmmom]

I would send a note back home telling them that "if dcb is potty training", they need to supply pull ups for awake hours. Once he goes 4 straight weeks without an accident (during awake hours), he is welcome to wear undies with rubber pants. He will still need to be in a diaper at naptime for naptime until accident free for 2 months.

(At least that's how I do it anyway.)

[Blackcat31]

It is also VERY important that parents (and providers) understand that the environment at home and the environment at child care are two COMPLETELY different setting which means for the child, two COMPLETELY different learning styles and situations.

It is not uncommon for a child to be fully 100% trained at home and not even be halfway trained in care...kwim?

I think if you can get parents to understand that one concept, then the whole process is a walk in the park.

I also make sure my parents understand the importance of them being the "lead" teacher and authority in potty training. It is their responsibility to start, maintain and finish the toilet training process as my role is to assist the child and parent.

[Heidi]

at the very least, ask them to provide pullups for OVER the underwear. He will feel wet if he goes in his pants, but your furniture and floors are safe...

[MN Day Mom]

I have a very strict policy that I added in my contract about 3 yrs. ago. I had one family and others that have wanted me to do all the work. If you or anyone would like to see how I have it worded, I would be happy to write it all down for you. It covers yourself, that you will not be potty training til child is ready and understands the concept of it.

It would be great if you shared it with all of us here