Very OT-Graduation Party

[Country Kids]

Sorry this is so off topic but I have a dilema and need some advice on what to do.

My daughter is graduating the 3rd of June. Her party is on June 1 in the evening. Invites have been out over a week now (I know late but the best I could do) and we asked everyone to please RSVP by the 25th of May. One person has RSVP'd and that was today and they can't come. I'm so, so, so stressed over this and then with other things in my life. I actually had nightmares this weekend about the party!

We invited out dentist and his wife called yesterday about up coming appointments and didn't even mention the party. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound rude or desperate but I thought she could have told me either way if they would be able to make it or not.

We sent out 75+ invites to this and no one can respond. I don't even know how many to roughly plan for. I'm also worried that no one read it correctly and think that we are doing it the evening of the graduation, even though we can't make it any clearer.

So what would you guys do? I so just want to cry and just close down next week so I can concentrate on her and her party and her very special day!

[Country Kids]

Just bumbing back up.

Any ideas of what to dowhen that many people don't RSVP?

[AfterSchoolMom]

I'd say, wait until the 25th. Most people don't RSVP until the last minute, IME. If the day comes and you don't hear from anyone, then it's time to start calling the ones that you have numbers for or emailing the ones you have email addresses for. It doesn't make you look desperate, it makes you look organized! Just say "the RSVP deadline was yesterday and we need to know how many to plan for".

I'd also plan on at least a handful just showing up without RSVP'ing. Sometimes close friends and family don't bother because "you know they'll be there".

[DCMom]

Is this an 'open house' or an 'party' ?

I made this mistake years ago with my oldest son ~ apparently RSVP's are somewhat unheard of for an open house. We send out about the same number of invites, only two people RSVP'd (one of them told me how unusual it was for an RSVP) and probably 80% of the remainder showed up. Food is the big unknown...how much to make, etc.etc.etc. I went with enough for 50% of the total number invited (we did 4 to 8 on a Saturday afternoon) and it was pretty good. We ran out of food, but we didn't have a bunch of people who didn't eat either. We ordered pizzas for the people who stayed MUCH later

I followed this rule of thumb with my next two and it worked out great ~ not too much food, just enough it seems. Do you have some close friends, relatives who were invited that you could call and ask? Might give you a better idea of the number to expect.

Good Luck and Congratulations to and your daughter!

[MyAngels]

Congratulations to your daughter!

I'd do as the PP suggested and wait until the 25th, then start calling. I don't know why, but people are so lazy about RSVPing nowadays. I just stopped expecting it and now plan as if everyone is coming. So far it's worked out pretty well that way.

[wdmmom]

When it comes to a graduation party, we never asked for RSVP's. Most people "make an appearance" but don't commit to attending.

I know when we had graduations to go to, there were 4 in one day. We went to all and not a one asked for an RSVP.

It's safe to assume 1/2 of the guests will come. We always made sure there was enough cake, drinks and appetizers. As for the food, when it's gone, it's gone. Most people don't come for the food anyway.

[Michelle]

one thing I did was created a fb invite to everyone of my fb friends and daughters friends... some people are busy/lazy/whatever and will rsvp on fb...(if you have one)
we had over 100 people here!

[wahmof3]

I am in the same boat

My DD graduates on the 3rd as well

I have no idea how many to plan for! A lot of who she invited are classmates and friends, that I'm not sure if they would actually come. So I think I am planning for 1/2 of what she invited. Its driving me crazy!!!

I did make up an event on facebook and she invited her facebook friends as well as family. I think that kinda helps with the rsvp part.

We also just sent out invites too

Anyways, CONGRATS to you daughter with her graduation!!!

[Country Kids]

I am in the same boat

My DD graduates on the 3rd as well

I have no idea how many to plan for! A lot of who she invited are classmates and friends, that I'm not sure if they would actually come. So I think I am planning for 1/2 of what she invited. Its driving me crazy!!!

I did make up an event on facebook and she invited her facebook friends as well as family. I think that kinda helps with the rsvp part.

We also just sent out invites too

Anyways, CONGRATS to you daughter with her graduation!!!

You to! I know what you mean. I'm planning on maybe 100 people but who knows. Maybe I'll have hubs to an event thing on fcbook as I don't have face book.

[momma2girls]

Congrats!!!!
Just plan for a certain # of guests. This is exactly what I did at my daughter's. We had a ton of people come thru all day long!!!

[MarinaVanessa]

DON'T STRESS. Where are you hosting the graduation party? If you're having it in a banquet hall or other place that has a maximum number occupancy you can always start calling the people who havn't RSVP'd now to get an idea of whether or not they might be calling. This is what my parents did when they hosted my grad party in a restaurant. The invitations however said something like "Due to limited seating your RSVP is requested no later than blah-blah-blah" or something. Very similar to the way that I worded my wedding invites. This way you can blame the facility for needing a head-count when in fact it really helps you plan for seats and food.

If you're having it somewhere where you don't need an official head-count but you still want one for planning purposes then by all means do so but keep in mind that you will need to call everyone that hasn't RSVP'd. If you can wait until Friday I'd suggest doing that only because some people may call you between today and Friday.

If you don't want to call or don't have everyone's phone number then I would just plan on everyone who was invited to show up. This way you have enough of everything (food and seats) for everyone. A grad party is a lot like a birthday party in the sense that even the people that say they will attend may not show up at the start or stay until the end. Some people show up at the beginning and leave early and some show up later and leave near the end, others may stay for the whole event. Food is good to have for every one but you may not need to have so many tables etc. KWIM?

Congrats again on your DD's graduation. Welcome to a whole new world of parenting

[Countrygal]

I want to echo the Congratulations to your daughter! What a wonderful day it is for her!

As to your question - my youngest graduated three years ago. What we did worked well, so I'll share, but not knowing your exact circumstances, it may not work for you:

One problem with graduation parties is that you never know how many are going to be on the exact same day as yours. Most people want to "make the rounds" and wish all of their friends and acquaintances a happy graduation! So, to this end, we had an open buffet all afternoon. We had homemade BBQ, pork and beans, and condiments and desserts. As people came and went they helped themselves if they wanted to. I chose this menu for a very specific reason - if it didn't get eaten, it would freeze well!!!

It worked out great. Most people filtered through for an hour or so throughout the afternoon. Family stayed. Her best friends came back later and we had a campfire and wiener roast with s'mores, and whoever wanted to could spend the night.

I will say that this type of grad party is not for everyone. My dd and two friends were PLANNING on going together and having a big, sit-down, catered meal. Unfortunately, we couldn't afford that. AND, grad parties being what they are, I didn't want to deal with 10 people not showing up when we had paid 11 dollars for their dinners! So, to avoid bad feelings we opted for the other type of party, and honestly, I don't think dd regrets it. They had a blast, especially at the campout (even her friends with a party the same day they were able to come to the campout!)

[cheerfuldom]

Call people on the 26th. Its annoying but at least you can reach as many as possible to get an answer. I put RSVP on our invites and we have had MANY parties during the years and almost no one ever calls. Its annoying and rude but totally common.

[daycare]

Yes RSVP for me I'm on the next plane out......Vodka Slurpees...Oh wait is this not the evite.......LOL

JUST Kidding....


I didnt even read your post and now after writing the above I feel bad.

If it were me, I would send out an email to those that I have addresses for and just say HI there, I am trying to plan out a nice menu for the party on XYZ and am trying to get a head count. Can you please let me know if you plan on coming. It will really help me when purchasing food and items needed for the party....

Hope to see you there,
CK

[SunnyDay]

In our area you don't RSVP for graduation parties, either, they're all "open house" style. Making a Facebook event is a great idea! I think it is easier for people to respond that way and if they don't, you can send out a reminder to those who haven't replied and ask them to please let you know if they will be coming.