Why? Can Someone Tell Me Why??

[daycare]

I have a DCB that is 3.5...not potty trained and NO where close to it.

Every time I ask DCB did you poop, he will tell me NO I did not. Even when he did. So this morning like ever other morning, I smell poop. I ask, kid says no. I say lets go change.


As I am changing him, I ask again, are you pooped? He says in a sweet voice, nope, no i didn't. So I take off the pull up, that did not contain the poop and its all over the place and show the DCK look what is that. He says poop. I said ok so you did poop your pull up, he responds NO, NO I did not..


UGGGGHHHHHH WHY? Why does this child not recognize or know when they pooped? I have a few ideas of why, like maybe the parents are punishing him at home when he does, but I never even change the tone of my voice when he does here??? I am at a loss....

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I dont think its that the parents are punishing him, but he probably knows its something he isnt supposed to do. He most likely hears from mom and dad "dont poop in your pants, poop in the potty". I think he is just not ready. Regardless of his age, kids are ready at different ages. Some potty train at 18 months, some at 4. When he is ready, it will click, and he will be fine.
In the meantime I think the parents need to stop pressuring him and give him some space.
With my daughter, the more I pushed, the more she resisted. As soon as I stopped making such a big deal about potty training, then she was ready, and it only took a day or two and she was fully trained. But SHE had to decide she was ready.

[Willow]

Denial (or flat out lying) is usually the consequence of fear of punishment.

Which is a bummer for you as it'll only prolong his inability to grasp the concept. Unfortunately your kindness and consistency very likely could be completely conflicting with what's being expressed to him about the issue elsewhere.


A kid who is simply being pushed too hard will on the other hand usually poop and think it's hilarious or poop out of defiance. Either way, they'll openly admit to it, knowing full well it's simply going to create a ruckus and drive their parents up the wall.

[daycare]

Denial (or flat out lying) is usually the consequence of fear of punishment.

Which is a bummer for you as it'll only prolong his inability to grasp the concept. Unfortunately your kindness and consistency very likely could be completely conflicting with what's being expressed to him about the issue elsewhere.


A kid who is simply being pushed too hard will on the other hand usually poop and think it's hilarious or poop out of defiance. Either way, they'll openly admit to it, knowing full well it's simply going to create a ruckus and drive their parents up the wall.

I did tell the parents that I felt he was being pushed and that I was going to stop the PT process all together. BUt the DCM is insisting on PT at home.

I agree, I think that he is being pushed and it's resulting in the opposite.

[daycare]

I dont think its that the parents are punishing him, but he probably knows its something he isnt supposed to do. He most likely hears from mom and dad "dont poop in your pants, poop in the potty". I think he is just not ready. Regardless of his age, kids are ready at different ages. Some potty train at 18 months, some at 4. When he is ready, it will click, and he will be fine.
In the meantime I think the parents need to stop pressuring him and give him some space.
With my daughter, the more I pushed, the more she resisted. As soon as I stopped making such a big deal about potty training, then she was ready, and it only took a day or two and she was fully trained. But SHE had to decide she was ready.

Very very good advice...Yes, I hear the parents tell DCK these words allof the time....

I will have to tell the DCP this and see if they can also maybe take a few steps back.

[WImom]

I have a DCB that is 3.5...not potty trained and NO where close to it.

Every time I ask DCB did you poop, he will tell me NO I did not. Even when he did. So this morning like ever other morning, I smell poop. I ask, kid says no. I say lets go change.


As I am changing him, I ask again, are you pooped? He says in a sweet voice, nope, no i didn't. So I take off the pull up, that did not contain the poop and its all over the place and show the DCK look what is that. He says poop. I said ok so you did poop your pull up, he responds NO, NO I did not..


UGGGGHHHHHH WHY? Why does this child not recognize or know when they pooped? I have a few ideas of why, like maybe the parents are punishing him at home when he does, but I never even change the tone of my voice when he does here??? I am at a loss....

I have the same kid here. He will be 4y old in August. He is my only DCK that isn't potty trained so it's super annoying. I do have him sit on the potty when everyone else is having potty breaks but he hasn't actually gone yet but "tries".

[SunshineMama]

I have a DCB that is 3.5...not potty trained and NO where close to it.

Every time I ask DCB did you poop, he will tell me NO I did not. Even when he did. So this morning like ever other morning, I smell poop. I ask, kid says no. I say lets go change.


As I am changing him, I ask again, are you pooped? He says in a sweet voice, nope, no i didn't. So I take off the pull up, that did not contain the poop and its all over the place and show the DCK look what is that. He says poop. I said ok so you did poop your pull up, he responds NO, NO I did not..


UGGGGHHHHHH WHY? Why does this child not recognize or know when they pooped? I have a few ideas of why, like maybe the parents are punishing him at home when he does, but I never even change the tone of my voice when he does here??? I am at a loss....

My dcb 3.5 was the same way. One day, his mom brought him in underwear and said e decided he wanted to be a be a big boy from now on. He had 1 accident that day and only one ever since. He takes himself potty completely now. It's sooo frustrating but hang in there!

[Ariana]

My own child is like this!! She's nearly 3 and still denies her poop for some odd reason. We don't punish her at home or anything remotely like that it's just the way she is. Sometimes I'll say "are you telling me the truth?" and she'll look sheepishly at me and say "no" but sometimes she'll say yes...it really is frustrating. I'm not sure my kid will be potty trained by the time she enters college

[Ariana]

I dont think its that the parents are punishing him, but he probably knows its something he isnt supposed to do. He most likely hears from mom and dad "dont poop in your pants, poop in the potty". I think he is just not ready. Regardless of his age, kids are ready at different ages. Some potty train at 18 months, some at 4. When he is ready, it will click, and he will be fine.
In the meantime I think the parents need to stop pressuring him and give him some space.
With my daughter, the more I pushed, the more she resisted. As soon as I stopped making such a big deal about potty training, then she was ready, and it only took a day or two and she was fully trained. But SHE had to decide she was ready.

This gives me hope! thank you

[Meeko]

It can be frustrating! I once had a child poop in his diaper and when I asked him if he was poopy....he nodded and then pointed at the closest playmate and said "HE did it"!!!! So I asked again..."So DCB pooped in YOUR pants??" "YEAH".........::::

[daycare]

thats even funnier