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Long story short.....I have a special needs almost 3 year old that is very demanding of my time. She is well behaved but very delayed. She is more work than all the other kids (including the 12 month old). She has been in therapy and has made some improvements but NEEDS some early intervention/education asap. She would get eaten alive in a daycare facility or mainstream preschool. Her mom is trying to get her into an excellent program and the school has contacted me for info as well. I am just SOOOOO happy that preschool is an option for her. I just cant bear to term but the last couple of weeks have really brought to light how significant her delays are. I was started to feel a bit desperate here but now there is hope with this preschool and I will only have her part time. We have been having to tailor our schedule and activities more and more around her and the other kids are getting bored or frustrated that she is always behind or slowing things down. I am not trained and do not take special needs kids but she has been here since birth and the delays came down the road. Her parents are so great and I just couldnt bear to send her off not knowing where she would go. Does anyone else take special needs kids? How do you accommodate their delays or needs while still meeting the other kids needs for stimulation?
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Cheer~ Good for you for being willing to even try for this little girl! (((hugs)))
I used to take kids with special needs but to be perfectly honest, I am not set up to accommodate them nor am I willing to do so as I feel that as a child care provider I am not paid anywhere near what I should be for this type of thing and I have been doing this long enough now to know that I am really NOT what someone who has delays and/or developmental issues really needs...kwim?
Children in that situation really need to have their issues dealt with and met by a develomentally appropriate environment with caregivers who have ALL the time, skills and education to deal with it.
I just honestly feel like that is not me. Atleast not while trying to care for other children at the same time. I mean if as a parent, I thought for one second that my child wasn't getting what they needed because you were doing "special" for another child I would be upset. I know that is going to come across wrong or badly to some but I am hoping you know what I mean.
You are child care NOT the public school system that is required, compensated and trained for these things. I really do commend you though for being so caring and all but in theory, I think it would be ok but in practice, I just don't see that you can give this child what she truly needs unless you are simply caring for her but it sounds like you are trying to have her fit in with all the other stuff you have going on too and I just don't think that will work forever.
I also think that by changing her world (at your house) to help her fit in is not really doing her any favors either as eventually she will outgrow your program.
On the other hand, having a special needs child in care is a wonderful way to teach other kids about acceptance and tolerance. I guess it really just depends on what this child's needs are and what her delays are. Is there training you can take to help you work with her and to help you deal? Is there anything different you have to do in order to care for her? Is there anyway for you to receive either from the parent or your state additional tuition for her so that you could maybe hire an assistant or para for her?
...wow, that is alot to chew on and I suppose I was no help as my post/response is basically me just thinking out loud.
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I may be thinking way off track here, but I'll throw it out. You say you are holding the other kids back for her. But, wouldn't this be something like having a program with different ages? If you had a 22 month old and a 3 year old, you would have to tailor things to accommodate the 22 month old, which would slow things down for the 3 year old. Yet, at other times, you would do things at the 3 year old level and set another task to occupy the young one.
Even as I type that, I see problems, so probably not much help. I agree that you aren't her final answer, but how lucky is she to have you there for her while they work out a more appropriate solution.Comment
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I absolutely appreciate your response and agree with you. These were all the things I was struggling with myself. My daycare is not a long term option for her at all. Right now her delays are not medical issues so much as social/emotional/motor delays. She is almost 3 but most of her skills are like that of an 18 month old. She really needs the trained assistance of skilled staff. I perfectly realize that my skills and program are not enough for her yet her mom and I do not want to send her off to any old place when the reality is that a lot of other daycares (being bigger than mine) will probably be worse for her (she is very sensitive and overwhelmed easily). I am very excited that she is possibly eligible for this program and hope that she is able to attend soon. The bus would drop her off here at my house and she would still come here half days, which I feel okay with for now. She has no behavioral issues and she really is a sweet girl, just a lot of work for me and not the right fit for my other mainstream kids on a full time permanent basis.Cheer~ Good for you for being willing to even try for this little girl! (((hugs)))
I used to take kids with special needs but to be perfectly honest, I am not set up to accommodate them nor am I willing to do so as I feel that as a child care provider I am not paid anywhere near what I should be for this type of thing and I have been doing this long enough now to know that I am really NOT what someone who has delays and/or developmental issues really needs...kwim?
Children in that situation really need to have their issues dealt with and met by a develomentally appropriate environment with caregivers who have ALL the time, skills and education to deal with it.
I just honestly feel like that is not me. Atleast not while trying to care for other children at the same time. I mean if as a parent, I thought for one second that my child wasn't getting what they needed because you were doing "special" for another child I would be upset. I know that is going to come across wrong or badly to some but I am hoping you know what I mean.
You are child care NOT the public school system that is required, compensated and trained for these things. I really do commend you though for being so caring and all but in theory, I think it would be ok but in practice, I just don't see that you can give this child what she truly needs unless you are simply caring for her but it sounds like you are trying to have her fit in with all the other stuff you have going on too and I just don't think that will work forever.
I also think that by changing her world (at your house) to help her fit in is not really doing her any favors either as eventually she will outgrow your program.
On the other hand, having a special needs child in care is a wonderful way to teach other kids about acceptance and tolerance. I guess it really just depends on what this child's needs are and what her delays are. Is there training you can take to help you work with her and to help you deal? Is there anything different you have to do in order to care for her? Is there anyway for you to receive either from the parent or your state additional tuition for her so that you could maybe hire an assistant or para for her?
...wow, that is alot to chew on and I suppose I was no help as my post/response is basically me just thinking out loud.Comment
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As for holding things back, it is more of a scheduling conflict. She still naps as much as an older baby would. She doesn't have the energy to walk as far as the other kids or stay at the park as long and I would really like to not have to bring a stroller for a 3 year old. Even my 18 month old DCG here walks to the park and back. She takes a long time to eat due to swallowing issues so I am still spoon feeding her. If I don't do this, she will literally start losing weight and refuse food. Its not a stubborn thing....she doesnt have the skills to self feed without close supervision. Its this type of thing. It wouldnt be that big of a deal if she was one year old but at three years old, it is a big deal to be spending this much time for just one child, kwim? We could be doing more or faster if she was up to speed.Comment
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That makes sense. I guess I'm so use to a big age gap that I didn't see the difficulty. But, I see what you mean now.
I hope she gets the help she needs.Comment
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