Isn't This A Form Of Child Abuse?

[Former Teacher]

First and foremost, I would NEVER do what I am about to get opinions on. I am just curious as to what everyone's take is.

I have a friend who takes care of a boy, if he gets in trouble, or if something isnt' going right blah blah...he will turn his face SUPER BRIGHT RED. He will then have a total meltdown. My friend eventually says he does calm down but there are times when its scary to her. She said the first time he did it, she thought he was going to have a stroke. She said she won't say nothing to the parents because they could care less about his behaviors. So I mentioned this to my mother in casual conversation. My mother said she should take water and "sprinkle" his face. I told her that I don't think she can technically do that.

I have heard that when you have a screaming infant you gently blow into their face so they can catch a breath but I have never heard of sprinkling water.

What are your opinions?

[Creek]

I don't think sprinkling water on a child of any age's face would be appropriate. However, if this child's face is red hot from holding their breath maybe talking to them gently and wiping their face with a cool cloth may help them cool down and calm down.

No age mentioned though either.

[Crystal]

I would COMPLETELY ignore the behavior. Obviously, he doesn't hold his breath so long that it has caused any real damage....he's still alive, right? I do not give children ANY attention when they behave that way, other than to say, "when your finished with that and you are ready you can join the rest of us in here" And then walk away without another peep.....

he's doing it for attention and that is exactly what he is getting

[Bookworm]

I ignore this behavior as well. I direct them to a spot where they will have enough space to throw a fit and then tell them, "let me know when you're ready. Usually takes about 3-4 min and they're done.

[Breezy]

I did this yesterday with my ds to distract him from daddy going to the store. He thinks its hilarious and started laughing immediately because he loves it.

[Unregistered]

No, this is not a form of child abuse. The child is not being restrained, not being belittled, not being yelled at, not being hurt in any way.

[temom]

i would ignore it, the more u fuss on him the more he will do it because he is getting the attention, i would make sure he is in a safe place and then let him do what he is doing, pretty sure he will get the message that this won't work with u and probably give up, i will tell the parents though. I had a kid who used to do that and Thank God i had mentioned it to his parents because he went and told his mum and i ignore hime when he asks for milk. I had told the mum that when things don't go his way this is what he does and i ignore him till he calms down to answer his questions and requests.

[dEHmom]

I had this suggested a lot because my youngest ds would throw major screaming/kicking tantrums. Older generations would tell me to throw ice cold water on their face. It distracts them and they supposedly never do it again. I know my ds well enough to know that he would simply freeze for a moment, then have double tantrum time.

I learned over the years, that calmly telling the child that it's not ok to behave that way, and if something is wrong they can come talk to me (or hug me or sit on me if they are younger) when they start to feel upset. But if they wait until it's too late, they will have to sit quietly by themselves until they are ready to join us again.

Even spoiled brats have good reasons to have tantrums or behave certain ways. They have been taught that by behaving that way, they will get something (assuming this isn't the first time they've done it). When a parent gives in to something, they realize that it doesn't matter how long they have to do it, eventually they will get what they wanted.

[Meeko]

It's done for attention...so don't give any. This type of child wants the attention...even if it's negative. Don't take the bait.

[cheerfuldom]

First and foremost, I would NEVER do what I am about to get opinions on. I am just curious as to what everyone's take is.

I have a friend who takes care of a boy, if he gets in trouble, or if something isnt' going right blah blah...he will turn his face SUPER BRIGHT RED. He will then have a total meltdown. My friend eventually says he does calm down but there are times when its scary to her. She said the first time he did it, she thought he was going to have a stroke. She said she won't say nothing to the parents because they could care less about his behaviors. So I mentioned this to my mother in casual conversation. My mother said she should take water and "sprinkle" his face. I told her that I don't think she can technically do that.

I have heard that when you have a screaming infant you gently blow into their face so they can catch a breath but I have never heard of sprinkling water.

What are your opinions?

While I wouldnt do this myself, I would hardly call this child abuse. I guess I am sensitive to people claiming this or that is child abuse. Are you really comparing a sprinkle of water to a child get physically/sexually/verbally abused? Just from my own childhood, I would happily have traded what I suffered and put in its place getting a little water sprinkled on my face. Just saying.....its always best to keep things in perspective. Even IF a PARENT was to do this water thing, I would not support it but its not like I would be calling CPS on them.

[Ariana]

I don't think this is child abuse either. I think the point of it is to "snap" him out of his mental state at the moment. Seems like he's raging and the water is meant to get him out of that state in a safe way. I personally wouldn't do it because this is not my child. If the parents are concerned let them come up with a strategy for stopping it. It's not my problem. I'd just ignore.

[Former Teacher]

While I wouldnt do this myself, I would hardly call this child abuse. I guess I am sensitive to people claiming this or that is child abuse. Are you really comparing a sprinkle of water to a child get physically/sexually/verbally abused? Just from my own childhood, I would happily have traded what I suffered and put in its place getting a little water sprinkled on my face. Just saying.....its always best to keep things in perspective. Even IF a PARENT was to do this water thing, I would not support it but its not like I would be calling CPS on them.

You are SO right...I should have used different words.

I posted earlier today but apparently I didn't hit submit it didn't post. That' what I get for trying to post at 5:15 am!

The boy is 4 years old. Someone suggested a cool rag on his face to try and calm him down. A very good idea (I thought) however I talked to my friend and she said it wouldn't work since he literally swings his arms about and hits himself. There is no good in trying to use soothing words...he screams louder. No use in talking to the parents. It just scares her sometimes.

[Unregistered]

I had one two year old that would alternate between holding his breath and screaming. I kept a small spritzer bottle on the counter. The screaming stopped after about two weeks. I used the spray bottle maybe two or three times.