Tired Of Being Pushed Around....

[WDW]

So maybe this should be a vent, but I guess I wanted some feedback on how to handle this. I seem to have NO backbone and it makes me hate myself sometimes. I have parents who constantly are pushing pick up time. A couple months ago, I moved my pick up time from 5:15 to 4:45 - because everyone is off work in time to do this with no problem. Now people are pulling in my drive at 4:45 and so by the time they get in the house, they are technically late. My child has ball practice at 5 some nights, so I'd really like to be able to leave by 4:45....

I have a sign in/sign out book. It says to sign out as you are leaving, and if you sign out after 4:45 your late fees are due by next pay day. EVERYONE signs out at the time they walk in my house... and then are here for another five minutes chatting and getting their kids shoes on, etc. I want them gone by 4:45. Am I expecting too much? I always want to say something but then I stand here and never do.

While I'm complaining, I will also ask for feedback about this. I serve breakfast (which is rare for home providers in my area, I would say 80% do not). I don't mind doing it, but I open at 7:00 and it got to where I was serving breakfast multiple times a day. Not what I had in mind. So I put into my handbook (and on my website which nobody uses) that if you are eating breakfast here, you are to be here by 7:45... arrivals after that should already have eaten. But I have two families who come in at 8 or 8:15 and the kid wants breakfast. I don't want to punish the child, but by 8:15 we have been done eating for a half hour.. my child is leaving for school....

[Blackcat31]

So maybe this should be a vent, but I guess I wanted some feedback on how to handle this. I seem to have NO backbone and it makes me hate myself sometimes. I have parents who constantly are pushing pick up time. A couple months ago, I moved my pick up time from 5:15 to 4:45 - because everyone is off work in time to do this with no problem. Now people are pulling in my drive at 4:45 and so by the time they get in the house, they are technically late. My child has ball practice at 5 some nights, so I'd really like to be able to leave by 4:45....

I have a sign in/sign out book. It says to sign out as you are leaving, and if you sign out after 4:45 your late fees are due by next pay day. EVERYONE signs out at the time they walk in my house... and then are here for another five minutes chatting and getting their kids shoes on, etc. I want them gone by 4:45. Am I expecting too much? I always want to say something but then I stand here and never do.

(((hugs))) I know that sometimes it is hard to say something and speak up but if you are having trouble doing so, I would do one of two things. I would either change my closing time to 4:30 so everyone is GONE by 4:45 or I would fill out the sign out sheet myself and write down the time the parent actually pulled out of my drive.

Then the next morning I would give them a bill for their lateness if they weren't gone by 4:45. If they complain then you can tell them that you expect the parents to be gone and off your property by 4:45 and since they aren't doing that, they get assessed a late fee.

If you don't want to say that, then type up a quick note that says "you are being assessed this late fee due to the fact that you are picking up after the stated closing time." Say nothing else just attach the note to the bill and that should explain your stance. They "should" get it.

If you would like to draft up a letter or quick note to explain to the parents that you will eb doing this from now on, PM me and I can help you out if you'd like.

[AfterSchoolMom]

As far as the breakfast issue, just tell the parents at drop off that breakfast is over and cleaned up, that snack time is at X and that they'll have to wait until then (assuming that you offer a morning snack). I'd hope that after a couple of times of this happening, they'll either drop off earlier or feed their child. Could you push snack time a little bit earlier? Don't mention that to the parents though, or they'll start thinking of AM snack as breakfast and they'll NEVER feed their child.

I wish I had advice regarding pick up, but that's been a struggle of mine the entire time I've been doing child care.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad about yourself - just know that it isn't YOU, it's most definitely THEM. However, if you never say anything or stand up for yourself, they may honestly not realize that they're causing you stress.

[Blackcat31]

Oops, I see you added some info about breakfast.....as far as that goes, you need to keep doing what you are doing as far as making a rule that they have to be there by a certain time in order to get breakfast. If the parent arrives and says Little Johnny still needs breakfast, say "Oh I am sorry but we are done with breakfast for today." and not giving the children breakfast will not hurt them.

If you are having a morning snack I am sure they will make it until then. I would then say to the parent that Little Johnny is pretty hungry by the time that snack rolls around that maybe he should be eating a bigger breakfast at home or getting to care in time for breakfast.

I have a provider friend who adds an additional fee to the parents bill if they arrive after a scheduled meal and still requests that their child eats. She calls it her "conveience fee" for having to make food outside her scheduled meal times. ::

[countrymom]

for late pick ups, I would have the child ready and waiting at the door, heck start pushing them out the minute the parent arrives, this way they can't linger.

for the breakfast, ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM!! yesterday I had a dcb who came at 1030 (usually is here at 9am) well the minute he got here he kept asking for food and drink. Well, I asked him what did he have for breakfast and you know what he said "I didn't get dressed fast enough so I didn't get anything" and both parents are home, mom is on mat leave and dad works afternoons, so there was no reason for not feeding him. sorry I'm not a restaurant.

[temom]

Oops, I see you added some info about breakfast.....as far as that goes, you need to keep doing what you are doing as far as making a rule that they have to be there by a certain time in order to get breakfast. If the parent arrives and says Little Johnny still needs breakfast, say "Oh I am sorry but we are done with breakfast for today." and not giving the children breakfast will not hurt them.

If you are having a morning snack I am sure they will make it until then. I would then say to the parent that Little Johnny is pretty hungry by the time that snack rolls around that maybe he should be eating a bigger breakfast at home or getting to care in time for breakfast.

I have a provider friend who adds an additional fee to the parents bill if they arrive after a scheduled meal and still requests that their child eats. She calls it her "conveience fee" for having to make food outside her scheduled meal times. ::

Your friend is a smart woman, i have had parents drop their kid of at 10 still in jammies and they i have been told he just woke up so could u have him brush his teeth and o yea he hasn't had breakfast. all this while its their day off.

[MarinaVanessa]

A simple solution for the late pick-up problem:

Talk to and hand out notices to all of the parents to remind them that they need to pick their child up and out the door BY 4:45pm and that your late pick-up fees will still apply as logn they are still in your home.

Then hide your sign-in sheet.

When they arrive to your home and they ask about it say that from now on YOU will be the one writing in the time and that all they have to do is sign it. Then don't pull it out until they're ready to go. I for one get everyone's shoes on about 15 minutes before it's time to go so that all DCP has to do it grab their jacket. Saves me time.

[WDW]

Thanks everyone! I think I am going to have the kids ready - maybe when it gets to be 10 minutes until I close, I will get those that are still here ready to go. I hadn't been doing this because I felt like based on the times my parents get off work, they have PLENTY of time to be here early enough to get their child ready and be gone on time. But I know it's not that they CAN'T... :: I guess if they won't, they kinda deserve the late fees... but truly I don't want their money, just want them gone on time.

Countrymom - that would have made me crazy... I am not a fan of having kids here when parents are home... (on a regular basis)... but ya know..

[My3cents]

Your friend is a smart woman, i have had parents drop their kid of at 10 still in jammies and they i have been told he just woke up so could u have him brush his teeth and o yea he hasn't had breakfast. all this while its their day off.

no reason for this--- policy book and enforce it. If you turn this child away for the day for not being dressed, fed, and ready to start his day- I bet the parents will do a quick turn about.

At the moment that she asked for his teeth to be brushed is where you have a perfect time to chime in........no I don't do that. He needs to come ready to start his day. It is in my handbook/policy book. If your feeling nice- which I usually am. I will say..... today I will take him, but next time if he is not ready for care, I won't.

This is not including the occasional parent that truly is rushed out of their mind to get to to work. I help them out. For a parent who just doesn't want to be bothered because they figure it is my job........nope, na ah, no way, no can do, get a life-

Hope this helps you

[snbauser]

For the pick ups - I agree with having the child ready to go before the parents come in. When they walk in say "hi", turn to child and say "have a good night Johnny. We will see you tomorrow" and then walk away or go back to what you are doing. The other tactic I have done is have my keys and purse in my hand when they walk in and say "Oh good, you made it. I was getting worried that I was going to be late for XYZ since that is why I close at 4:45" I have even hollered for my own kids to "hurry up or we will be late" when a parent walked in. A litte passive aggressive, yes, but it works and eliminates the confrontation.

For the breakfast- send a reminder home and tell them that effectively the next day you will be enforcing the breakfast policy. Remind them that it is not fair to the other children for you to have to continually make and monitor breakfast for an extended period of time in the morning and it is a disruption to the day. Then, start enforcing it. If a child shows up after the cut off time, do not feed them. They will not starve. You can even wait and say something at pick up like "Suzie was very hungry at snack this morning. Did she not eat breakfast before she got here?" If they say no just remind them that you sent home a note reminding them of your policy and that if she is after that time, she must eat at home or wait until the next meal time.

[cheerfuldom]

I ALWAYS have kids ready. Off they go with mom. The ones that get here right at 5:30, there kid is ready and at the door and the parent does not even come in. Sometimes we play in the front yard the last 30 minutes so the parents barely make it up the drive (walking, not driving!) before the kid is right there. If parents try to hang out and talk, I chat but I also clean up, send other kids off, get my kids indoors and then tell them "okay, nice chatting with you, I'll see you in the morning!" and then smile and shut the door.

[itlw8]

If you have trouble speaking up then post a large sign Breakfast is OVER at 7:45 Feed your child before you come.


I CLOSE at 4:45 you must be out the door or you are late. I must leave at 4:45 for ball practice please arrive at 4:40 or eariler

Please do not park behind my car I pull out of the drive way at 4:45


Then at 4: 40 go put your kids in the car and stand next to it with everyone that has not left. hand them a late bill as they pull in.

[momma2girls]

I have children all ready by about 10 min. before closing time. If it is nice outside, we meet parents outside. This helps, just pick them up and leave, and I leave.

[AmyLeigh]

The other tactic I have done is have my keys and purse in my hand when they walk in and say "Oh good, you made it. I was getting worried that I was going to be late for XYZ since that is why I close at 4:45" I have even hollered for my own kids to "hurry up or we will be late" when a parent walked in. A litte passive aggressive, yes, but it works and eliminates the confrontation.

Lol. I do this!! Dd has dance on Tuesdays and we have to leave right after one dcb gets picked up. Dd has her tap shoes on, I have keys and purse, and everyone else is by the door at 5:45. As soon as she comes in to pick up, we all file out the door and into the car! Dd has never been late to class this year.