Have You Every Had

[morgan24]

a dcb who none of the other kids want to play with, even his own sister? He is 3 1/2. The younger kids stay away from him, if they sit next to him to play he tries to lay on them or get right in their faces. The older kids stay away from him because he just tries to ruin whatever they are playing. If they are building with blocks he tries to knock it down, if they are all coloring he tries to scribble on everyone's paper but his own. When he starts causing trouble I just send him to his own area to play in to keep him from bothering everyone.

I think he is delayed for his age. He can't do anything for himself and will cry if he is made to try, like putting on his own shoes. He is obsessed with Star Wars and will cry when he can't watch them, I don't even have T.V. in my daycare area. I have never had one like this and feel bad that no one wants to play with him.

[Bookworm]

I have 2 like that minus the delay. DCB1 has been in my group for over a year and DCB2 for about 3 months. The other kids have the same reactions as well.

Have you tried talking to the parents? What about pulling him away from the group to play by himself? Do you have any children willing to play with him one on one away from the group?

[cheerfuldom]

I bet he watches a lot of TV at home. has he been with you long?

[morgan24]

Your right he does watch TV at home most of the time. He hates to go outside and cries when we do everyday. I have had him for 9 months. At the start of the New Year he became obsessed with Star Wars and that is all he wants to play or watch the movies. I guess he has them all. Dcm thinks it's funny that he is so obsessed. She has a few obsessive traits herself. He plays on his own most of the time. I let him join the others but as soon as he tries to ruin what they are doing he goes back to being on his own. I just thought at 3 1/2 he should be able to do group play and not be so destructive. I also have a just turned 2 who does the same things but she is learning quick that the kids don't like it and she stops cause she wants to play.

[daycare]

My nice does not understand personal space. Her and my son are 6 weeks apart. She is the older of the two.

She grew up 95% of her life so far in front of the TV, going to bed at 2-3am and not getting up until noon or so.

My son cannot stand having to play with her, he cries at the thought of her coming over or vice versa.

Her mom is clueless about it and think that my son is just mean. I told my SIL well she needs to learn personal space and not always crowd into my son's space.

I think that the fact that she has not had a lot of coaching at home and the only thing she ever really does is watch tv, she does not know how to interact with others...

It is very frustrating to watch my SIL and the grandparent continue to ignore it and just plop her down in front of the tv.... What will be more sad, is when she goes to school, she will not be able to make friends very well....

[countrymom]

My nice does not understand personal space. Her and my son are 6 weeks apart. She is the older of the two.

She grew up 95% of her life so far in front of the TV, going to bed at 2-3am and not getting up until noon or so.

My son cannot stand having to play with her, he cries at the thought of her coming over or vice versa.

Her mom is clueless about it and think that my son is just mean. I told my SIL well she needs to learn personal space and not always crowd into my son's space.

I think that the fact that she has not had a lot of coaching at home and the only thing she ever really does is watch tv, she does not know how to interact with others...

It is very frustrating to watch my SIL and the grandparent continue to ignore it and just plop her down in front of the tv.... What will be more sad, is when she goes to school, she will not be able to make friends very well....

I have a neice just like this too. My kids can't stand her, even the daycare kids hate her, good luck to her in school.

[Bookworm]

Sounds like he has no boundaries at home. What is the age difference between him and the sister. It could be an attention seeking ploy for him.

[morgan24]

Sounds like he has no boundaries at home. What is the age difference between him and the sister. It could be an attention seeking ploy for him.

They are twins. Maybe he will outgrow this stage, in the meantime he'll have to play by himself.

[Blackcat31]

Have you tried playing WITH him? It almost sounds as if he has no idea "how" to play with others. I would try to model for him the appropriate ways to play and share.

He will soon learn that he receives far better feedback and acceptance from his friends if he chooses to play nicely rather than play as he does now.


Honestly I think a bit of patience and maybe some one on one play situations first with you and then with you moderating the play will eventually lead to playing positively with the other children.

As far as the babies go (you mentioned taking baby's paci)....NO daycare kids are ever allowed to get close enough to the babies in care to touch them. EVER. That is a safety issue and safety is handled much differently than socialization issues.

[morgan24]

Have you tried playing WITH him? It almost sounds as if he has no idea "how" to play with others. I would try to model for him the appropriate ways to play and share.

He will soon learn that he receives far better feedback and acceptance from his friends if he chooses to play nicely rather than play as he does now.


Honestly I think a bit of patience and maybe some one on one play situations first with you and then with you moderating the play will eventually lead to playing positively with the other children.

As far as the babies go (you mentioned taking baby's paci)....NO daycare kids are ever allowed to get close enough to the babies in care to touch them. EVER. That is a safety issue and safety is handled much differently than socialization issues.

Actually I do play with him. I will start to play something with him and one of the others will join and he picks up whatever toy is near and starts shooting or pretending that it's a light sabre. He acts like he can only play one type of play at a time, right now it's star wars, when he first started here it was dinosaurus, then thomas the train. He doesn't want to try to do anything else and if I try to make him it upsets him and sends him into a crying jag. He doesn't throw a fit just cries like his heart is broke. I would like to be able to help him learn to play, but to be honest I don't know what will help.

I meant the dck's that are younger then him are the ones that he gets in their faces and tries to lay on. They are both 2. I do have a 3 month old but she has her own space that none of them are allowed into ever.

[Blackcat31]

In that case, I bet like a previous poster mentioned,he watches ALOT of TV at home.

I would just continue to do what you are doing and hopfully he eventually understands how to play with others or he will learn to be happy playing alone.

I am sorry I wish I had some better advice or some idea for you ...but I have no idea what I would do in that case then.

Poor little guy may eventullay catch on how much fun the others are having together and may feel that pull to be part of a group....let'e hope anyways.

[cheerfuldom]

Are you SURE there are no other issues going on....obsessing about only one type of activity sometimes is an indicator of a more serious issue. Is he reaching his other milestones well?

[morgan24]

Are you SURE there are no other issues going on....obsessing about only one type of activity sometimes is an indicator of a more serious issue. Is he reaching his other milestones well?

He is kinda of odd. When I ask him to do something that we have been doing as a group, like wash his hands before lunch, I get a blank stare and then he says wash my hands. He repeats everything I say to him. I know he is behind on milestones for a 3 1/2 year old, so I suggested to dcm that she could get him evaluated at early on, but she got a little snotty and said he's just a lazy boy.
Hopefully when he goes to school he will get evaluated.

[Ariana]

I have a 2 yr old DCG like this. She just can't seem to get along with others and invades their personal space all the time. The only accurate way I can describe her personality is similar to a robot. She's very unemotional and robotic about her actions. Doesn't care who is in her way or how others feel, if she wants to brush your hair she'll just come up, grab your head and start brushing!! The first day back from her parents is always the worst so I know it's stemming from something going on at home. She's very defiant with them at home and seems to get a kick out of annoying the other kids. It's all about control IMO. She's usually fine the 2nd and 3rd day, albeit stll annoying, but not as bad. She doesn't watch tv at home as far as what they tell me.

She's only 2 though so I consider most of this normal but hopefully she'll grow out of it soon. I didn't go through this with any of the other 2 yr olds I've taken care of but my friends 3 yr old is like this too. Very odd!

We had a kid at the centre that needed major help with learning to play. I would take him into a private room with a few toys each day for an hour or two with 1 or 2 other kids and help them play. Not sure if this is doable in a situation where there is only you.