Frustrated ;0(

[DCP]

Hey everyone - I am not new here but created a new registration to hide the real me of course
I am writing today because I have become beyond frustrated with the parents. I have had most of the clients for two years plus and their help and participation is non existent. It really doesn't matter what it is I ask of them...for crafts I have ask9d for simple pics of immediate family (mom,dad, pets,siblings) could be emailed, printed together not together..what ever. They had two months with lots of reminders...and NOTHING! I have a client who does not even look at the daily work their child completes. It sits in the child's bag for months until the bag is too full!
I have asked for help with certain issues with their children, simple things that they should do anyways that if not done causes major issues while here. They do not follow those requests either.
I go out of my way to make sure I have a pretty close to preschool curriculum right down to visitors and because the parents simply see me as a phone bill (just an example) I get so frustrated and wonder why I bother at all!!. I know that I do it because I care about the kids..but when I get this kind of reaction from the parents..I feel like I am wasting my time trying to set myself apart from others.
I know some of the way I feel stems from previous clients whom showed their appreciation not only of the work the kids did but also for me. I had 6 clients in December and would you know that only ONE gave me a Christmas card with a gift. I would of been grateful if they just had their child make me a card!!! I still receive Christmas cards from clients I had 6 years ago..., but not my current???
It just REALLY upsets me. Does anyone else go through this, how do you get your groove back because I am starting to fade!!! Two years of this is killing me!!
Thanks for listening

[Meeko]

Hey everyone - I am not new here but created a new registration to hide the real me of course
I am writing today because I have become beyond frustrated with the parents. I have had most of the clients for two years plus and their help and participation is non existent. It really doesn't matter what it is I ask of them...for crafts I have ask9d for simple pics of immediate family (mom,dad, pets,siblings) could be emailed, printed together not together..what ever. They had two months with lots of reminders...and NOTHING! I have a client who does not even look at the daily work their child completes. It sits in the child's bag for months until the bag is too full!
I have asked for help with certain issues with their children, simple things that they should do anyways that if not done causes major issues while here. They do not follow those requests either.
I go out of my way to make sure I have a pretty close to preschool curriculum right down to visitors and because the parents simply see me as a phone bill (just an example) I get so frustrated and wonder why I bother at all!!. I know that I do it because I care about the kids..but when I get this kind of reaction from the parents..I feel like I am wasting my time trying to set myself apart from others.
I know some of the way I feel stems from previous clients whom showed their appreciation not only of the work the kids did but also for me. I had 6 clients in December and would you know that only ONE gave me a Christmas card with a gift. I would of been grateful if they just had their child make me a card!!! I still receive Christmas cards from clients I had 6 years ago..., but not my current???
It just REALLY upsets me. Does anyone else go through this, how do you get your groove back because I am starting to fade!!! Two years of this is killing me!!
Thanks for listening

It comes in waves. I too received Christmas cards from clients I had years ago. The same ones who send me photos of their life events etc.

And, I too, have parents who do not lift a finger to be involved with their children's lives.

We have a whole unit on community helpers and do a mail service theme. I have the parents bring a stamped, addressed envelope with the child's address on it. We learn all about the mail service and how a piece of mail gets from one place to another. Our last day we color a
"letter to ourselves" and walk to the mailbox to send it. The kids love seeing it arrive at their house a day or two later with the post office markings etc.

This year? Not one parent brought the envelope despite a notice on the door for a week and reminders from me.

I ended up supplying the envelopes and stamps myself. Nobody offered to repay me. They simply do not care. But I expected it. I knew if I said anything, I would get a quick "sorry...I was so busy" excuse even though most of them work half the amount of hours I do.

A few months ago, I tried an experiment. I didn't do a thing all week. Nothing to take home. I didn't do a thing that was posted on the calendar.

NOBODY SAID A WORD. NOBODY NOTICED.

But here's the thing. The KIDS noticed. The KIDS enjoy the activities. So I decided to do it for the KIDS.

To heck with their parents.

[DCP]

Meeko
Thank you so much - glad I am not alone!! I too did the "nothing" for a week as well as no posting updates for a MONTH on my page to see if anyone said anything. Sadly no one did. It honestly brought me to tears I was so angry!! I spend SO many hours and my own money to make the program the best i can and I get nothing in return from the parents.
I said to my husband WTH should I bother...his reply was the exact answer I already knew...because I care about the kids!!! And he was right but it just gets me so angry when I do all this and then when I take a half day - my listed vacation or on pay day they complain about that!!!

Part of the job I guess!! I sure do miss alot of my old clients LOL

[3girls]

Its so sad

I don't really send stuff home with my kiddos. I learned that lesson when I worked in a center. At the center parents did absolutely nothing! I had one parent who refused for a year and a half to bring her son a blanket for nap time Projects in the trash, no carseats on field trip days...

[DCP]

I just read through some posts on here - and it amazes me how many there are like this. i just do not understand it!!
It makes me sad for the children!!! They are so proud of the work they complete here and the accomplishments they make...but am I really the only one that acknowledges it?

:-( While it is sad - I am sure glad I am not the only one that deals with it!! I started feeling like I was just nit picking or something LOL

[jenn]

Same here. I used to send daily reports, weekly menus, projects almost everyday,... Most the time, I don't think anyone read any of it, and I think most of the projects went in the trash or got smashed in the floor of the car. One week, I wasn't feeling well, so I didn't do any of it. No one said a word.

Now, the only daily report I do is for the 4 month old whose parents provide the form for me. I don't copy the menu for anyone and no one asks. Much less work for me.

I still do projects with the kids, but instead of sending them home immediately, I hang them up here for a few days. At least that way the kids get to enjoy them a little before they go home and get thrown out.

[Breezy]

HOW SAD! I was just telling DH how we need a new fridge because our stainless steel won't let me put magnets on the front! I am anticipating lots of art work to hang for my DCKs and own kids eventually. I can't believe parents don't care!

[DCP]

it is sad and extremely frustrating!!!
I have a stainless steel too We (my own kids and the DC kids) cover the sides top to bottom LOL
I also have a cork board - the DC kids ALWAYS make me stuff when they have free art. NEVER have this group said "this is for mom"

I had great parents before that would not leave my house without first discussing the daily topics and checking out the child's work. Her involvement kept me at my best!!! I miss that type..I would be happy with one like that now!!

Live and learn I guess..I know I have to keep going for the kids..but these parents make it difficult sometimes. and I am finding 90% of the time..my stress is due to the parent not the children!! Scary isn't it??

[daycare]

I used to be upset by stuff like this. But I cant change who people are and I don't care to. It is sad, but it is their choice. '

If I were you, since now you know that the parents are not willing to participate, don't set yourself up to fail. Meaning, don't ask them to participate in any more of your activities.

I tried just as you did and it failed as well. So I don't ever plan anything anymore that requires the parents to get involved. I seem to be much happier this way.

I think a lot of it also has to do with the fact that we are teaching preschool out of our homes and the parents really just see us as baby sitters and not preschool teachers. At least this is what I think..

I have spent a lot of time in the last 3 years really educating myself, getting certified in certain programs to teach and so on. I am humble, but the more certificates I hang on my wall, the more serious the parents take me. I think that is silly, but I have noticed.

Sorry you have had to go through this, I hope things turn around for you....best of luck

[angelicpretty]

You are not alone.

I run a school age center and have about 30-40 kids on a rotating basis. I requested that parents bring in old magazines for a project. I posted signs near the door and even put post-it notes on the sign in binder sheets.

I got one magazine. ONE!!!

I also post weekly activity plans and detailed menu plans. I actually had a parent about 6 months in ask me, "Do they get a snack here at all?" "Why yes they do. I create a weekly menu plan that is POSTED and is also available in your newsletter."

At my center, I've come to realize that parents just DO NOT care. As long as their child is alive at drop-off/pick-up, that's all they care about. I've tried paper-clipping little notes onto their sign in/out sheets, and i've watched as the parent walks in, rips the note off without looking at it, and throwing it in the garbage near the table. NOT EVEN A GLANCE AT THE NOTE.

In terms of activities, I plan only for what can be done using supplies in the room. I know that is sad, but it's just what i've learned I have to deal with.

[My3cents]

do it because you want to do it or don't do it at all. Do it for the right reasons not the wrong ones. Are you doing this for the kids or parents?

Why work yourself up for unappreciated parents- do it for the kids to enrich their lives with different mediums and experiences. The kids will remember-

[saved4always]

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I think that, in some cases, parents may not consider daycare for their kids to be something they need to participate in. It is something they they need to have because someone needs to watch thier kids while they work. Sounds like this may be how your parents look at daycare...once they pick up the kids, they don't think about it til they have to bring them back in the morning before they go to work. If the parents aren't looking at daily reports or menus, or any other extra things you are doing, don't waste your time on them if they are not required. It is just making you bitter when the parents don't appreciate what you do. Only do those things that enhance the experience of the kids. If you are doing it just for the kids, then the parents won't disappoint you so easily.

[DCP]

well said! I think that seems to be the issue..they just see it as a babysitter

I talked with a friend that has a child in a home daycare - she is my set you straight kind of friend that always seems to know what to say LOL
She agrees on how I feel - but also has the mind sense that you can not change people. If this is how they are then do things for the kids that enhance their experience and gives them an opportunity to show off their work if Mom doesn't. I have their stuff in the kitchen but no where else - so I can hang up their work on our theme wall which may also make me feel better seeing it all the time.

I guess my problem is I have been spoiled with some great clients over the years and this time my whole group has the same mind set..I will always have one or two parents that I do not understand but having a whole group of them is hitting me hard.

Thank you ALL for listening and helping. I love this forum to be able to talk to others that understand EXACTLY what I am going through LOL