What Would You Charge?

[TGT09]

I have a dc family that wants to go on vacation just her husband and her when he gets home from Iraq in September. She's asked me to watch 18 month dcg for her for 7 days!! Their marriage is on the rocks and states she wants it to be just them so they can rediscover their love.

What in the world should I charge? I was thinking $50 a day?? Which makes it $350 for the week. She also said she would pay for groceries on top of whatever I asked.

The sad thing is is dcg's grandmother lives in the same town as parents and me. She'd rather have me than her. :-(

[nannyde]

I have a dc family that wants to go on vacation just her husband and her when he gets home from Iraq in September. She's asked me to watch 18 month dcg for her for 7 days!! Their marriage is on the rocks and states she wants it to be just them so they can rediscover their love.

What in the world should I charge? I was thinking $50 a day?? Which makes it $350 for the week. She also said she would pay for groceries on top of whatever I asked.

The sad thing is is dcg's grandmother lives in the same town as parents and me. She'd rather have me than her. :-(

The Dad is coming back from Iraq and they are planning time for him to be away from his baby?

That is INSANE. I could see after he had been home a month or so them taking a weekend together but a WEEK when he returns? Are they talking about doing it right after he returns or a month or so down the line?

[momofboys]

I have a dc family that wants to go on vacation just her husband and her when he gets home from Iraq in September. She's asked me to watch 18 month dcg for her for 7 days!! Their marriage is on the rocks and states she wants it to be just them so they can rediscover their love.

What in the world should I charge? I was thinking $50 a day?? Which makes it $350 for the week. She also said she would pay for groceries on top of whatever I asked.

The sad thing is is dcg's grandmother lives in the same town as parents and me. She'd rather have me than her. :-(

Did the mom mention an amount or ask you to let her know what you think? Hmmmmm I'd say $50/day sounds fair IMO. But that is a big commitment. If they are gone who do you call for an emergency? Just wondering.

[TGT09]

As far as I know, it's the very next week from what I can tell. He either comes home at the end of August or the beginning of September. She told me September 7th is when they would leave. I read the e-mail last night and didn't think about what you said until later that night. My friend was like I could never leave my daughter for a full week! Maybe a long weekend but that is way too long. Then, I keep thinking....how could you as a Dad want to leave that close to coming home. Regardless of the child, when my hubby came home from Iraq...he didn't want to go anywhere for a long while, let alone a SANDY beach!

I already feel so sorry for this little girl. She clings to me every day when her mom comes. I think she doesn't have enough consistency at home and I give it to her. She also clings to my hubby, obviously because she misses her daddy. DCM is very young so I think she just thinks this will fix everything so she's willing to do it. :-(

[TGT09]

She said she would pay "whatever I want" plus groceries.

Grandmother lives here in the same town so I'm sure I can call her but she always comes to get her grudgingly. Last time, she had to come get her when she had a fever, she didn't even have a carseat and I had to give her mine! She says her house is not baby proofed and it's too difficult.

I honestly don't mind watching dcg for the week but I keep thinking about what if she gets sick. Then what?!

[tymaboy]

$50 does sound fair. I wonder what the dad thinks of going on Vacation with out his child. When you talk to the mom set it up that if DCG gets sick then grandma will need to take care of her until you DCKs are gone for the day. I dont know about you but I think if it were me after 7 days of taking care of a child I would either be more then ready for her to go home or very sad to see her go, in that week I think I would develop more of a bound with the child.

[TGT09]

$50 does sound fair. I wonder what the dad thinks of going on Vacation with out his child. When you talk to the mom set it up that if DCG gets sick then grandma will need to take care of her until you DCKs are gone for the day. I dont know about you but I think if it were me after 7 days of taking care of a child I would either be more then ready for her to go home or very sad to see her go, in that week I think I would develop more of a bound with the child.

We are in the adoption process and thought about becoming foster parents afterwards. I guess maybe this might give us an idea of what it would be like. ;-) I know it's nothing in comparison but still can't help thinking it.

The bigger issue is, she can be somewhat of a whiny child. I have a low tolerance for the whining but dcg knows that and she still loves me. :-)

[originalkat]

I think $50 is a fair price as well.

[nannyde]

Grandmother lives here in the same town so I'm sure I can call her but she always comes to get her grudgingly. Last time, she had to come get her when she had a fever, she didn't even have a carseat and I had to give her mine! She says her house is not baby proofed and it's too difficult. !

I'm seeing a LOT less grandparental involvement in this generation. When I first started caring for kids the grandparent generation was really pretty involved. It wasn't unusual for me to have kids that were home with grandma for the first couple of years. As time went on it seemed the time that the kids were with Gma got younger and younger. For a while it was common to get calls for kids who had been at Gma's until they got mobile. Soon as they started getting hard gma said no more free day care.

Now I don't even get calls telling me kid needs day care after being with Gma. Maybe in this economy there are more Gma's doing it for longer times but I think it's probably the opposite. It's probably hard to get gma to do it at all.

[grandmom]

The greatest gift a father can give his daughter is to stay in a loving relationship with her mother. If their relationship is rocky, they NEED this time immediately after he returns.

If he returns for a week or two and then leaves again, it's going to be worse on the girl than if he's just gone for another week in the first place.

Take this girl, $50 is a good price. Grandma doesn't want her, she needs your stability.

I've done this, not for soldiers, but for other parents, 10 day cruise, work related trips, etc. Just make sure you have contact info and permission for medical treatment. You can't bill USDA for a child that spends the night, but that's really beside the point.

[TGT09]

I'm seeing a LOT less grandparental involvement in this generation. When I first started caring for kids the grandparent generation was really pretty involved. It wasn't unusual for me to have kids that were home with grandma for the first couple of years. As time went on it seemed the time that the kids were with Gma got younger and younger. For a while it was common to get calls for kids who had been at Gma's until they got mobile. Soon as they started getting hard gma said no more free day care.

Now I don't even get calls telling me kid needs day care after being with Gma. Maybe in this economy there are more Gma's doing it for longer times but I think it's probably the opposite. It's probably hard to get gma to do it at all.

I have a friend that her Mom watches both of her granddaughters that are 41 hours apart. They are now 10 months old so it's getting more difficult for her as they get mobile. I know she feels exactly as what you said....they are getting TOO difficult. She keeps saying "I don't know how much longer I can do this". I was actually cared for by my Great-Aunt from 3 months-11 years.....I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood with her and I know my Mom wouldn't either. I think it's sad that Grandparents don't want to be a part of their lives BUT....I also get the grandparents don't want to feel like they HAVE to do it either.

[professionalmom]

Oh, my gosh!! I am struggling to NOT cry for this precious little girl. Doesn't anyone (other than you) care about this little girl? From what I gathered, dad has been gone for awhile, possibly most of her little life and she has little to no knowledge of him. Mom is very young and has no qualms about leaving her 18 month old for a WEEK. Plus, mom and dad view a week-long romantic getaway as more important than spending time bonding with the little girl as a family. Seriously, is a love life more important than the parent-child relationship. Sure, every couple needs some time alone, but a whole week, especially since dad's been gone?! Then we have grandma who acts like watching DCG is a "burden" or inconvenience? My parents and in-laws beg to see my daughter more often! My FIL and bro-in-law tell us to get out and so somewhere just so they can watch her! If you don't take this little girl for a week, I will!!! She really needs lots of hugs, kisses, and attention. I can't imagine how lonely she must feel in her own family. I feel so sad for her.
My daughter is 21 months. When she was 19 months, she stayed with my MIL for 40 hours straight while I was taking care of my mom (who just had a hip replacement). Other than that 40 hours, she had been away from me a TOTAL of less than 100 hours her ENTIRE LIFE. After the 40 hours apart, she acted out, got separation anxiety, etc. for about a week. I just can't imagine a whole week away from her! Oh, and I called at least every 6-8 hours the whole time.
Seriously, I would love to take this little girl in for a week. I would want to do it for free. But these parents need to pay for this insane selfishness! So $50/day is fair in my opinion!

[nannyde]

Oh, my gosh!! I am struggling to NOT cry for this precious little girl. Doesn't anyone (other than you) care about this little girl? From what I gathered, dad has been gone for awhile, possibly most of her little life and she has little to no knowledge of him. Mom is very young and has no qualms about leaving her 18 month old for a WEEK. Plus, mom and dad view a week-long romantic getaway as more important than spending time bonding with the little girl as a family. Seriously, is a love life more important than the parent-child relationship. Sure, every couple needs some time alone, but a whole week, especially since dad's been gone?! Then we have grandma who acts like watching DCG is a "burden" or inconvenience? My parents and in-laws beg to see my daughter more often! My FIL and bro-in-law tell us to get out and so somewhere just so they can watch her! If you don't take this little girl for a week, I will!!! She really needs lots of hugs, kisses, and attention. I can't imagine how lonely she must feel in her own family. I feel so sad for her.
My daughter is 21 months. When she was 19 months, she stayed with my MIL for 40 hours straight while I was taking care of my mom (who just had a hip replacement). Other than that 40 hours, she had been away from me a TOTAL of less than 100 hours her ENTIRE LIFE. After the 40 hours apart, she acted out, got separation anxiety, etc. for about a week. I just can't imagine a whole week away from her! Oh, and I called at least every 6-8 hours the whole time.
Seriously, I would love to take this little girl in for a week. I would want to do it for free. But these parents need to pay for this insane selfishness! So $50/day is fair in my opinion!

Standing, clapping, cheering for proffesional Mom. It IS really sad.

[fctjc1979]

The greatest gift a father can give his daughter is to stay in a loving relationship with her mother. If their relationship is rocky, they NEED this time immediately after he returns.

If he returns for a week or two and then leaves again, it's going to be worse on the girl than if he's just gone for another week in the first place.

Take this girl, $50 is a good price. Grandma doesn't want her, she needs your stability.

I've done this, not for soldiers, but for other parents, 10 day cruise, work related trips, etc. Just make sure you have contact info and permission for medical treatment. You can't bill USDA for a child that spends the night, but that's really beside the point.

I'd have to agree on this. This child obviously needs stability. She will not get that if this couple splits up. I would definately have a hard time saying no to a couple who is doing it to keep their family together. This is a temporary seperation - much better than a permenant one. I know this seems odd to most people. As many have already said, who could stand to be away from their kids for that long? When I was a single mom trying to get a college education, I got burned out. My doctor was getting ready to put me in the hospital for exhaustion. I had to send my daughter to my parents house for a month while I tried to finish up. That was the single most difficult thing I ever had to do in my entire life. And I couldn't do it. About halfway through, I dropped out of college and moved in with my parents and got a job as a shift Manager at a McDonalds so I could be with my daughter. This couple is sick - obviously in a different way, but sick none the less. If they are using this time of seperation to be better for eachother and their children, I would have to say - more power to them.

[nannyde]

The greatest gift a father can give his daughter is to stay in a loving relationship with her mother. If their relationship is rocky, they NEED this time immediately after he returns.

If he returns for a week or two and then leaves again, it's going to be worse on the girl than if he's just gone for another week in the first place.

Take this girl, $50 is a good price. Grandma doesn't want her, she needs your stability.

I've done this, not for soldiers, but for other parents, 10 day cruise, work related trips, etc. Just make sure you have contact info and permission for medical treatment. You can't bill USDA for a child that spends the night, but that's really beside the point.

I agree with almost all of your posts but this one I don't. The greatest gift the father can give his daughter is TIME with her and TIME with her and Mommy as a family. Time away is just that.. time AWAY. It's not a problem to have everything work out when you are AWAY from your day to day life. It's time IN that makes families whole.

If their relationship is rocky then the ONLY solution is to be with each other in their normal life WITH their child to work on their day to day. Day to day IS what life is about not a vacation or rejuvination time. Get to the vacation as a FAMILY when you get your day to day worked out. It's bassackwards to me. None of it should occur WITHOUT the baby with them. Kids sleep so they will have plenty of time to talk things out. When she's up it's all about THEM making it work together WITH her.

She should be telling them that she's going to keep the baby HOME for a couple of weeks when Daddy gets back so they can WORK on their rocky relationship. Sorry but this "me time" or "us time" is what is tearing this generation away from their kids. It's the shunning of their child when things get hard that is changing our humanity all over the globe.

I don't buy it.