How & When Should I Terminate This Crazy Mom I Got?

[Unregistered]

I've searched and not really found what I'm looking for so thought I'd ask how you all would handle this situation.

I have a mom who has been slowly driving me up...a...wall. I could fill that whole venting thread with the things she's said to me and reactions she's had to things I've said. I could write a book...seriously, it's been that bad. I should have terminated this family last fall already when I found out she was doing attachment parenting all summer and failed to mention that to me when I couldn't figure out why her child just was not adjusting. I should have terminated for so many reasons over the last nine months, but I haven't because I thought I could stick it out until the summer. She's a teacher. This week has been the last straw with this mom. She's only got 5 days left until summer vacation, but yet she's still thinking she needs me to this differently or that differently. I've flat out told her that her way is NOT how I will do things. This time she wants just a morning nap and that's NOT gonna happen. Sorry! I've been a mom for 12 years and have done daycare for 6 years...it's not my first rodeo here, whereas this is her first. I FEAR how this child will act after a summer in her constant care because he already walks all over her and he's only 14 months old! (Did I mention I could write a book?) SHE would be better off hiring a nanny to do exactly what she wants, although I think her child would be better off with a group of kids.

Anyway, I just want to be DONE with her after this school year is over. How do I go about this? I've never had to terminate anyone. Should I give her a letter or just tell her? WHAT do I tell her? Can I just say I won't be renewing her contract for next school year? She is the type that I don't think I want to say much or give a reason, but what should I say?

Thanks in advance for your help!

[Blackcat31]

Try this:

"Dear DCM

This letter is written notice that I will no longer be willing to provide child care services to you as of ***X, 2012. At this time I do not feel that I can provide the type of care you need and have decided it is in the best interest of everyone to terminate care.

I wish you the best and hope you have no issues in finding alternate care.

Sincerely,

Provider"

If she asks you why, just say as little as possible other than it was a business decision and leave it at that. Don't be afraid of the awkward silence.... just don't offer up anything more. You will be glad after they are gone as it definitely sounds as if she is not a good fit for your program.

[Heidi]

Can you wait until after she's gone for the summer and then call her mid-summer? Who knows, she might come to the same conclusion and save you the trouble.

[Meeko]

Some parents will just never, ever get the fact that the day care is YOUR business and they don't get to make the policies.

They have a basic mind set of "I'm paying you, so you'll do as you're told"

I have had parents like this before and there is no getting through to them. And although I am a very outspoken person....I don't always want confrontation. Especially when I know it will get me nowhere fast.

This is what I have done a couple times in the past when I have just wanted the problem to slip away....

Rather that "can" her...and then face her wrath....tell her that due to personal reasons (they are), you have decided to downsize your day care (you have..even if it's only temporary!) and therefore your last day of care will be (date).

If she asks why...it's personal.

if she asks who else is leaving....you can't discuss the other children.

You aren't accusing her of anything or "punishing" her and she can't tell you she's not going to leave!

Watch her walk off into the sunset and then....happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

[cheerfuldom]

just keep being vague and saying that you and her are not the right fit for each other. Its nothing personal, its a business decision, not the right fit, rinse and repeat. I would give her the letter on the last day of care at pickup. She has all summer to figure out something for the fall. You can start interviewing for the spot now though.

[MizzCheryl]

Does she pay you to hold a spot for the Summer?
If Not you could tell her you can not hold the spot for financial reasons.
Would she pay full price to hold the spot?

[Crazy8]

it really depends on your contract agreement for holding the spot over the summer. Does she pay to hold the spot all summer? Do you keep a deposit from her?

I use a families deposit towards their last 2 weeks of care so if I was in your shoes I would give them 2 weeks notice before care ended for the summer so that I could use up that "credit". If I termed them over the summer and still had that deposit I would have to send them a refund and I try to never have to be in that situation (it hurts less to work for "free" the last 2 weeks).

[wdmmom]

Try this:

"Dear DCM

This letter is written notice that I will no longer be willing to provide child care services to you as of ***X, 2012. At this time I do not feel that I can provide the type of care you need and have decided it is in the best interest of everyone to terminate care.

I wish you the best and hope you have no issues in finding alternate care.

Sincerely,

Provider"

If she asks you why, just say as little as possible other than it was a business decision and leave it at that. Don't be afraid of the awkward silence.... just don't offer up anything more. You will be glad after they are gone as it definitely sounds as if she is not a good fit for your program.

You could always tell her that you are looking for year round families.

[Unregistered]

I just want to be done with this mom. I don't have a deposit or 2 wks notice to deal with. She only has a week left since she cancelled the last week the child was to be here & only told me that today. Quite frankly, after the issues she came up with for today, I don't care. I just want to be done so I can move on. I kept looking for a term letter and came up with wording from several that I used to do my own. I would've just used the one from Blackcat, but this lady needs some sugar coating since I don't think this is going to go over well. Can you tell me what you think?

Dear parents,

After much thought and consideration, I have decided that , ***xx 2012 will be the last day I can provide daycare service for DCK. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for him. I enjoyed watching him learn and grow.*I wish you the best of luck finding a daycare that will fit your needs.*

Sincerely,*
Me

[Blackcat31]

I just want to be done with this mom. I don't have a deposit or 2 wks notice to deal with. She only has a week left since she cancelled the last week the child was to be here & only told me that today. Quite frankly, after the issues she came up with for today, I don't care. I just want to be done so I can move on. I kept looking for a term letter and came up with wording from several that I used to do my own. I would've just used the one from Blackcat, but this lady needs some sugar coating since I don't think this is going to go over well. Can you tell me what you think?

Dear parents,

After much thought and consideration, I have decided that , ***xx 2012 will be the last day I can provide daycare service for DCK. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for him. I enjoyed watching him learn and grow.*I wish you the best of luck finding a daycare that will fit your needs.*

Sincerely,*
Me

I think your letter sounds good.

It is positive, to the point and yet gives dates for the final day of care.

Good luck and I hope things do work out well. It sounds as though you are MORE than ready to be done with this family!