Parents Giving Me A Hard Time About 5yr Old Napping

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

We have rest time from 12:00-2:00 every single day. Even the 5-year-old.

[SunflowerMama]

The thing is they all fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting on their cot.

I don't ever make anyone lay on their cot awake...they just all sleep.

My twins are 5 and still nap every day for 1.5hrs and are asleep by 8:30p every night.

I'm actually a little scared about kinder because mine are such good nappers and kindergarten doesn't have a naptime. I think they'll adjust fine though.

I know some of my dcps have night time problems as far as getting their kids down and I think that's part of their concern...that they nap so well here.

I'm going to just tell the parents that if they aren't falling asleep within 20 minutes that I will let them get up and do a quiet activity. But as of now they are some of the first asleep and I don't want to force them to stay awake if their body is still needing that rest.

[DBug]

I think as providers we have to realize that all kids are different. Some need less sleep, some need more. I think it's wrong to suggest that parents are bad parents if they don't want their kids to take a nap during the day. It's our job (in my opinion) to work with the parents, to find out how the child is doing at home and try to make it a win win situation for everyone. I don't make major compromises, but on nap issues, maybe because I have btdt with my own kids, I do listen to the parents and find out what will work for us both. Have any of you experienced that with your own children? Them not going to bed because of taking a nap? Or am I the only one??

I've let kindies stay up before. I have a small house, so whatever they do has to be quiet, but I've let them get out the Barbies or other big kid toys that they can't play with when the littles are awake. I've also let them play in the backyard (with parents' permission). However, when one dcp asked me to keep her 4yo up in the months before she started kindergarten, and she started falling asleep in the middle of her toys on the COLD tile floor -- I started putting her on a cot again .

If the child can stay awake without melting down at any point during the rest of the day, AND if they can stay quiet during our 2 hr. quiet time -- they earn the privilege of not having to lay down on their cot. Otherwise, it's nap time!

[Blackcat31]

I may not be in the majority here, but I think it is worth finding a compromise of sorts. Its good to keep a quiet time, but I am a provider and a mom who happens to have 2 out of 3 of my kids sleep HORRIBLE at night if they got a nap past 2 1/2. I can't get them to sleep til at least ten because a nap energizes them so much. Yet with out a nap, they fall asleep beautifully by 8. And I NEED my evening time alone with my husband to recharge my batteries. So my kids, and a few of my older dck who's parents experience the same frustration of their kids not sleeping at night, get a rest time, a quiet time with a movie or books. Selfishly I would love to have everyone sleep, but I know I will pay for it later in the evening if they do. And so will my dcp which makes them grumpy too. So if your dcp are experiencing the same, I feel for them. Maybe they are falling asleep because they go to bed so late because they are taking naps during the day, YKWIM?

I completely disagree with this this line of thinking. This is a VERY common misconception. Napping during the day does NOT cause the child to not want to go to bed at night.

If a child falls asleep within 30 minutes of "resting" then their body needs sleep. If they lie awake for more than 30-60 minutes then they probably arent tired.

If you get an opportunity, please read this book "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka http://parentchildhelp.com/books.cfm?MID=126

It explains ALOT about common sleep issues and misconceptions about night time behaviors.

When kids are wound up tight and running around like a crazed lunatic at bedtime, it isn't because they napped at daycare and/or arent tired...it is because they ARE tired.

9 out of 10 times children are NOT getting enough sleep at night and parents and providers fail to see the signs. Good sound sleep (in the right amounts) is the foundation to EVERYTHING else. NannyDe is a good resource for sleep and the benefits of it as well as the affects of the lack of sleep.

[SunshineMama]

Tell them they you do not MAKE anyone nap, but everyone is required to have a quiet rest period during the day. If they fall asleep during that rest period, it would be cruel to wake them up just because the parents dont want them sleeping. Give the kids a book to read while they lay down for their rest period. If they fall asleep- they obviously needed the sleep, if they don't sleep, then they still got their mandated rest period.

What do you tell parents that don't want their 5 year old napping?

I have 4 5 year olds (2 are my own) and they all still nap.

The other parents of the 5 year olds are starting to give me a hard time about having their kids nap. They think I should stop napping them so they can be ready for kinder.

On the weekends they don't nap.

I think if they are still falling asleep that their bodies still need the rest. I have always had nappers so don't know what to tell the other parents.

The other parents are friends of mine so it's hard to address this but they keep pressuring me to drop the naps (in a joking way) and I just want to put my foot down but what do I tell them?

[DCMom]

This is the ongoing debate between parents and dc providers, isn't it? JMHO, but I don't think a 5 year old needs to sleep if s/he has a regular, early bedtime routine.

I have always had "Quiet Time" for the 2-5 year olds. The littles have "Nap Time" in another room Quiet Time is the only 1.5 hours long and the only time during the day that the tv is on. A 90 minute movie, volume very low so they have to be quiet to hear the dialog. The kids know that "Quiet Time" is over when the movie is over. Books and stuffies are allowed, sleeping is encouraged but not required. Quiet is.

I have four 5 year olds, all going to school in the fall and three have been here since they were infants or toddlers. All are April BD's and none of them have napped since they were around 4. The 3/4's are hit and miss, maybe two or three short naps a week; the 2's sleep hard everyday. I have 10 kids here now ~ 6 are sound asleep and 4 are watching the movie. Guess which 4? And we were at the park all morning.

I think every kid is different; some require more sleep than others. All you can do is require the time period, but you can force what the the child does during that time. If they need sleep, they will sleep. I do think as providers we need to take the parents wishes into consideration.

[Jenniferdawn]

I completely disagree with this this line of thinking. This is a VERY common misconception. Napping during the day does NOT cause the child to not want to go to bed at night.

If a child falls asleep within 30 minutes of "resting" then their body needs sleep. If they lie awake for more than 30-60 minutes then they probably arent tired.

If you get an opportunity, please read this book "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka http://parentchildhelp.com/books.cfm?MID=126

It explains ALOT about common sleep issues and misconceptions about night time behaviors.

When kids are wound up tight and running around like a crazed lunatic at bedtime, it isn't because they napped at daycare and/or arent tired...it is because they ARE tired.

9 out of 10 times children are NOT getting enough sleep at night and parents and providers fail to see the signs. Good sound sleep (in the right amounts) is the foundation to EVERYTHING else. NannyDe is a good resource for sleep and the benefits of it as well as the affects of the lack of sleep.

Blackcat, I know everything you are saying. I've read the reports. I've raised three children and have been in childcare for 14 years. I understand the whole issue of kids needing more sleep etc. All I can go on is my own experience with my kiddos. My 4 year old wakes at 7am and is in bed by 7:30pm. If she takes a nap in the afternoon, it does not make her more ready for bed in the evening. After a nap, I have tried putting her to bed at her usual 7:30pm bed time and she will lay there for 2 hours, not being able to sleep. I do NOTHING different in her routine except adding the nap. She has been that way for the last year. Just how her body works. My son wasn't this way, but she is. So I still believe, all kids are different. And we need to take that into consideration. If my daughter is getting 12 hours of sleep when she sleeps 7:30pm to 7:30am, or twelve hours when she sleeps 9 to 7 with a two hour nap, you bet I prefer for her to skip the nap and just have a rest time. All parents need some time in the evening to unwind with out their kids.

Believe me, I have had many parents who let their kids stay up late and they absolutely need a nap. I have a 5 year dcb like this. But I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that we expect to apply to everyone. Rest times should definitely be for everyone. Naps I think we just need to be flexible one. JMHO.

[wdmmom]

I have it worded in my contract that all children are required to take a full afternoon nap/rest time. Any child that doesn't nap has outgrown my program.

I had 2 families tell me their 3 year old didn't nap.

Family 1 was told the child still needed to lay down for an hour and no, I wasn't going to give him books, toys, leave a light on, etc. I told them that the rate would go up if the child needed 1 on 1 care throughout naptime and I would give them 1 month to find a new daycare.

Family 2 asked if their 3 year old dcg had to nap. YEP! She sure does. DCM again suggested books, toys, even movies or tv!!! NOPE! Not here. I simply told her I didn't have the room to accommodate her requests and that keeping her up during nap would be an additional fee. DCM got her schedule worked out that DCG didn't nap here anymore.

[countrymom]

every child is different, now I would tell the parents that you have rest time. If the child falls asleep well, then the child needs it. If they don't, well they need the rest. some of my kids lay down and watch tv, but thats when I have rest time too and get things done.

now, what I'm finding is that parents are forcing their kids to go to sleep anywhere between 7 and 730pm, when clearly the children are not ready. I don't understand this concept, parents spending 2 hours with them and then shoving them to bed.

yesterday, dcm complained that dcg hasn't napped for 2 weeks (she turned 3 in feb) but is becoming a bear, and having such bad meltdowns around 5pm that they don't know what to do. But they are shoving her to bed at 7 or 730pm. Well yesterday she fell asleep for an 1 hour nap and didn't go to sleep till 830pm and mom was mad because "they didn't have adult quiet time" well.

like my back up provider says, parents make liers out of us.

[Blackcat31]

Blackcat, I know everything you are saying. I've read the reports. I've raised three children and have been in childcare for 14 years. I understand the whole issue of kids needing more sleep etc. All I can go on is my own experience with my kiddos. My 4 year old wakes at 7am and is in bed by 7:30pm. If she takes a nap in the afternoon, it does not make her more ready for bed in the evening. After a nap, I have tried putting her to bed at her usual 7:30pm bed time and she will lay there for 2 hours, not being able to sleep. I do NOTHING different in her routine except adding the nap. She has been that way for the last year. Just how her body works. My son wasn't this way, but she is. So I still believe, all kids are different. And we need to take that into consideration. If my daughter is getting 12 hours of sleep when she sleeps 7:30pm to 7:30am, or twelve hours when she sleeps 9 to 7 with a two hour nap, you bet I prefer for her to skip the nap and just have a rest time. All parents need some time in the evening to unwind with out their kids.

Believe me, I have had many parents who let their kids stay up late and they absolutely need a nap. I have a 5 year dcb like this. But I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that we expect to apply to everyone. Rest times should definitely be for everyone. Naps I think we just need to be flexible one. JMHO.

Well said. And you are right, I shouldn't make blanket statements about every child needing to nap. I also agree that every child is different as I was like you and had two VERY different children of my own as far as sleep needs and issues.

I guess I was more or less commenting in the whole concept from parents of not needing to nap any more simply because their child won't go to bed at night or are crazy active in the evenings.

Also the OP in this situation said the child DID fall asleep within a few minutes of laying down and whether or not that is because she is tired and needs a nap or is tired because she went to bed late due to the nap is something worth looking into for sure but will require honesty from the parent or the cycle will neve be broken.

I guess that is why I call it "rest" time or "quiet" time. That way the negative attachments that come along with "nap time" dont happen here. It is definitely a never-ending debate/issue that goes on between parent and provider and realizing that every child IS different and has different needs is absolutely beneficial to everyone involved.

[Meyou]

It's amazing what changing the wording does. :: Since I've been calling it rest time I no longer have "nap" issues with my older kids.

[Jewels]

My son around age 4, started laying in bed kicking the wall at night for 2 hours before he would fall asleep, so I took away his nap, and for the first few days that was very hard, because he was cranky! come about 4pm, but by 8pm, he was asleep, and he now does great during the day, and falls asleep very quickly at night. I do not make kids nap past 4 yrs old, once they are 4 they can lay downstairs and watch a movie or cartoons, they must lie down for the first 30min, then they can color, do puzzles or play with books. When parents of around a 4 yr old tell me their child is taking forever to fall asleep at night, I completely agree with them that its time for their child to start skipping naps, and yes the first couple days can be hard, but then their bodies adjust, I think its more important for them to get good sleep at night at home, than it is for them to sleep here, my older ones are very good about staying quiet, and after the "school agers" that are not in school yet watch TV for an hour, I then send them outside to play for the rest of quiet time, which is allowed in my state.

[hgonzalez]

ughhh ...me too.

I get the same thing here, but our full day Kindergarteners do have a 'quiet time' of 1 hour. I tell parents that they do not have to sleep, but they do need to rest quietly. If they fall asleep, then I think that they needed it. If they don't they are reminded to be quiet so as not to disrupt those that are sleeping. The total time is 1 to 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

It is usally the parents that are trying to have their kids go to bed by 6:30 or 7 pm that have this concern. What a joke. You get home by 5:30, feed your kid, maybe bathe them and then put them to bed? What kind of quality time is that? Some people just don't want to be bothered with their kids nowadays. Or they give them a sweet treat at dinner and then want to blame their high activity level on you giving them a one hour nap!

So frustrating!

[MamaG]

I think as providers we have to realize that all kids are different. Some need less sleep, some need more. I think it's wrong to suggest that parents are bad parents if they don't want their kids to take a nap during the day. It's our job (in my opinion) to work with the parents, to find out how the child is doing at home and try to make it a win win situation for everyone. I don't make major compromises, but on nap issues, maybe because I have btdt with my own kids, I do listen to the parents and find out what will work for us both. Have any of you experienced that with your own children? Them not going to bed because of taking a nap? Or am I the only one??

My DS stopped napping at a lil over 1. But he slept 12 hours straight every night! I go by the child's needs and could care less what parents want. My DCG now naps if she needs it but often she doesn't need it and I let her watch cartoons instead. I still get to do paperwork and clean up. As long as she sets quietly on the sofar I keep tv on.

[MissAnn]

I put mine down with up to 4 books they choose. Most don't read them, they are tired and they sleep. I have a 3.5 year old whose parents have hinted they want her to stop nap......but if she didn't need to sleep, she wouldn't. I think they problems they are having with her at home is more along the lines of lack of discipline. Same reason she comes to school with a tutu and no socks in 32 degree weather. She rules the roost. I am not going to give up my clean up/paperwork/relax time because they have trouble getting her to go to sleep at 8:00 PM.