Afraid to Give Anwser...

[Christian Mother]

One of my parents just asked me if I'd watch her two children (3 yrs and 5 mos) July 4th-8th overnight while her husband and her self go to Vegas on their Annv. They normally do this each yr but I only watch the kids for the weekend...usually a Fri-Sund. thing. This yr it's 5 days

We are moving next month to Tucson and I am taking the summer off from doing daycare but I don't mind watching them sometime during the summer. I am just hesitant on the 4th of July...and...my husband isn't going to like it. I don't know how the heck I'd be able to celebrate the 4th of July with my children and her's and I am a little bitter that she wouldn't want to spend the 4th with them...

I normally charge double my rate per child no discounts. Pretty much it would be $100 a day that includes both kids. That's $500 although on the 4th and 8th I might need to split it in half as I don't know what time we need to drive out to Phx. to pick them up which we agreed on Casa Grande as the meeting point. I really don't know if they want to spend that kind of money on a sitter for 5 days of care but I've never watched them this long so the fee is going to be expensive. I guess I need to ask her if she is able to pay me that when she has to pay for the trip to Vegas also...I mean 5 days is a long time unless they are at home playing hooky for a couple days.

I must say...I do feel guilty charging her that much...but man a full week....

[Live and Learn]

My advice would be to get paid (non refundable) in full NOW and charge a very high rate if you are inclined to do this.

When I first started with daycare I arranged our family's summer vacation to accommodate a dc family's summer request. At the very last minute they cancelled.

[Christian Mother]

I didn't even think of that...to be honest I think I am going to just tell her that we have plans on the 4th. She said she can be flexible but my husband has been working a lot lately including weekends. This is going to be important to us to have that time for family...the money would be tempting but spending family time is much more important. I def. want to see the boys...but I think 5 days is kind of long for me to watch them all day and all night...

[daycare]

I didn't even think of that...to be honest I think I am going to just tell her that we have plans on the 4th. She said she can be flexible but my husband has been working a lot lately including weekends. This is going to be important to us to have that time for family...the money would be tempting but spending family time is much more important. I def. want to see the boys...but I think 5 days is kind of long for me to watch them all day and all night...

why not just tell her what you are telling us? Tell her that you are open to doing it (if you really are) but that you can only do it for X amount of days. Is there anyone else that they could split the days with? Maybe another friend or family member?

[littlemissmuffet]

I'd personally charge $1000.00.

If they really needed ME, they would pay it.

Otherwise, they'll find someone else.

I don't like overnight, weekend or HOLIDAY care. It needs to be very wroth my while

[Christian Mother]

For as long as I can remember she doesn't have much family out here that helps. Her mother lives further out and is a dog trainer. She doesn't like having the kids at the house bc it's always a mess. I am usually who she goes to for date nights although I stopped watching children on weekends a while a go bc watching kids M-F takes a toll on me and my family. I need those weekends to recoup. I normally will only watch if it's a wedding or special occasion. Since it's for their Anniversary I would def. try. I just don't know if that week is going to work and we haven't really made plans as of yet. I think once we are officially out there then we would be able to know more. I just don't know right off. I can tell though that my husband isn't going to be pleased. When we watch the kids we keep saying this is the last time...I've had a couple of times they where brought sick...one had RSV and I didn't even know it til mom took her son to the ER. I had called the next day saying he was running a high temp and throw up. The older they get the harder I find it is to care for them together not to mention I just don't know how comfortable they'll be in a strange new home...for that amount of days. I think the novality of coming to the new house wheres out after a couple days...kwim?..

[littlemissmuffet]

For as long as I can remember she doesn't have much family out here that helps. Her mother lives further out and is a dog trainer. She doesn't like having the kids at the house bc it's always a mess. I am usually who she goes to for date nights although I stopped watching children on weekends a while a go bc watching kids M-F takes a toll on me and my family. I need those weekends to recoup. I normally will only watch if it's a wedding or special occasion. Since it's for their Anniversary I would def. try. I just don't know if that week is going to work and we haven't really made plans as of yet. I think once we are officially out there then we would be able to know more. I just don't know right off. I can tell though that my husband isn't going to be pleased. When we watch the kids we keep saying this is the last time...I've had a couple of times they where brought sick...one had RSV and I didn't even know it til mom took her son to the ER. I had called the next day saying he was running a high temp and throw up. The older they get the harder I find it is to care for them together not to mention I just don't know how comfortable they'll be in a strange new home...for that amount of days. I think the novality of coming to the new house wheres out after a couple days...kwim?..

I don't know... I don't feel sorry for parents - when you choose to have children, you choose to give up certain things. I know it is their anniversary, but honestly, most people are lucky to be able to go out for dinner kid-free for their anniversary... kwim? I think it's great you want to help, but at the same time - it isn't your responsibility to be the daycare provider and the babysitter.

Her mom could watch the kids but DCM doesn't like how messy here house is? Seriously? Beggars can't be choosers.

Your husband's not going to be happy? I don't let daycare stuff interfere with my personal life on any level... that right there would cause me to say "nope, sorry."

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I happily do more than enough 50+ hours a week for my DCFs and even thinking about anything more makes cranky.

[saved4always]

Where you said in your original post that your husband would not like it, I was thinking that I would not do it for that reason alone. I would not agree to do something above and beyond if my husband is not happy about it. It sounds like you really would like to have your family time for the holiday, too. And just because you have done this for them before, does not mean you are obligated to do it this time.

If you do decide to watch them, I agree with someone here who said to charge $1000. Tell them you have to charge big due to it being a holiday. Anyone working on a holiday should get alot more money, imo. That would definitely do the trick to find out if you are thier only resource for this vacation. Plus, if they take you up on it, at least you will be very well paid.

[Ariana]

I don't know... I don't feel sorry for parents - when you choose to have children, you choose to give up certain things. I know it is their anniversary, but honestly, most people are lucky to be able to go out for dinner kid-free for their anniversary... kwim? I think it's great you want to help, but at the same time - it isn't your responsibility to be the daycare provider and the babysitter.

Her mom could watch the kids but DCM doesn't like how messy here house is? Seriously? Beggars can't be choosers.

Your husband's not going to be happy? I don't let daycare stuff interfere with my personal life on any level... that right there would cause me to say "nope, sorry."

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I happily do more than enough 50+ hours a week for my DCFs and even thinking about anything more makes cranky.

I completely agree with this!! We don't have family around either so we just don't go to Vegas

At the very least her week away should be of YOUR choosing not hers. You could say "I'm available the weekof August 6th but that's it" kwim? I think she's asking a lot.

[saved4always]

I don't know... I don't feel sorry for parents - when you choose to have children, you choose to give up certain things. I know it is their anniversary, but honestly, most people are lucky to be able to go out for dinner kid-free for their anniversary... kwim? I think it's great you want to help, but at the same time - it isn't your responsibility to be the daycare provider and the babysitter.

Her mom could watch the kids but DCM doesn't like how messy here house is? Seriously? Beggars can't be choosers.

Your husband's not going to be happy? I don't let daycare stuff interfere with my personal life on any level... that right there would cause me to say "nope, sorry."

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I happily do more than enough 50+ hours a week for my DCFs and even thinking about anything more makes cranky.

Yep. I agree with this. I don't feel sorry for them either. I have been married for 22 years (next month ) and have never left my kids with someone for 5 days so I can go on a vacation with my husband alone. We have done weekends away where my parents watched the kids for 2 nights, but that is it. We do our longer vacations as family vacations.

[MsMe]

I just agreed to do an overnight in Aug for a DCF going to Vegas for their anniversary!! Mine is also two kids but for only one night (during the week)

I don't know if I would have agreed to FIVE days and esp a holiday weekend (well I know I would have said "no" my birthday is over the 4th)


IF you are willing to do it I would charge enough to make it 'worth' it to you. Rememder to charge holiday pay for the 4th!!!

$500 probabaly would be enough for me to do it IF it didn't really make my DH mad AND I wouldnt miss any plans.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree with whoever basically said that this was not your problem. You dont HAVE to say yes! especially to something that is not even urgent or a necessity. I agree that if you have kids, its up to you to make the sacrifices and sometimes that includes forgoing huge trips. I think my husband and I have had maybe two kid-free dates since my youngest was born a year ago.....but this is just our reality because we cannot afford babysitters, do not dump our kids on relatives or friends, and realize that three kids was OUR choice.

[Christian Mother]

Def. hadn't said yes yet...originally she had asked for the last weekend of July and I said sure no prob. but the next day she asked if she could move it to the 4th of July weekend. And I was like.....didn't really discuss dates and I pretty much checked out bc they where on their way out and I had my mind on Taco bell...happyface

So today I texted her asking her about dates and also that I will need to speak to hubby about this...yesterday I did tell her when she mentioned the 4th my face what like OHHHH Girlie...ummmm I don't know...I'm really going to have to discuss that first with my husband. So she does know she's pushing it. When I get to the text back on dates...I was like woooo that is a lot of days.

I am with you guys..if my husband says "absolutely not" then that's her answer. I really don't mind a weekend but I've never watched any child 5 days straight...EVER.

My husband and I...we take the kids (ours) every where with us..we really enjoy their company. We have only left the kids with a close friend 1 time and that was when we went out to Sedona for our 9 yr anniversary last yr. We had a great time but we sure did miss the kids. I think parents should def. be able to have some time away but this family takes a lot of days away from the family. I should start counting how many days away they take and I watch over night..hmmmm

Sorry for the vent....I am just frustrated the more i think on this...

I started watching their youngest over night at 3 wks of age. I don't feel bad for them...but I do feel bad for the children and that is why I take the kids.

[cheerfuldom]

Def. hadn't said yes yet...originally she had asked for the last weekend of July and I said sure no prob. but the next day she asked if she could move it to the 4th of July weekend. And I was like.....didn't really discuss dates and I pretty much checked out bc they where on their way out and I had my mind on Taco bell...happyface

So today I texted her asking her about dates and also that I will need to speak to hubby about this...yesterday I did tell her when she mentioned the 4th my face what like OHHHH Girlie...ummmm I don't know...I'm really going to have to discuss that first with my husband. So she does know she's pushing it. When I get to the text back on dates...I was like woooo that is a lot of days.

I am with you guys..if my husband says "absolutely not" then that's her answer. I really don't mind a weekend but I've never watched any child 5 days straight...EVER.

My husband and I...we take the kids (ours) every where with us..we really enjoy their company. We have only left the kids with a close friend 1 time and that was when we went out to Sedona for our 9 yr anniversary last yr. We had a great time but we sure did miss the kids. I think parents should def. be able to have some time away but this family takes a lot of days away from the family. I should start counting how many days away they take and I watch over night..hmmmm

Sorry for the vent....I am just frustrated the more i think on this...

I started watching their youngest over night at 3 wks of age. I don't feel bad for them...but I do feel bad for the children and that is why I take the kids.

overnights at three weeks? wow, even if they were working, that is just really heartbreaking to me. I know "to each their own" but that is just something I dont think I will ever be able to understand.

[Christian Mother]

Neither do I but I am thinking for them it had to do with not being able to catch up on sleep and they where going nutz. But then when I had them...!! I knew what she was talking about bc we didn't get any sleep either...

I forgot feedings every 2 hrs...that was the..."Where Never Doing This Again"...and yet I have watched them 2 times after that. It's gotten better but, I know..."You set your self up for that one"...!!