Need Suggestions :)

[SunnyDay]

My first thought is that I would skip it this year.

[DCMom]

Yes, and I am sure she will learn to "deal with it" through her father's guidance and therapy. I think shoving Mother's Day in her face two months after her mother's death is cruel. She is a child. She does not have the tools to "deal" with it yet and won't for sometime. Death is very confusing to young kids and very scary. It is compounded by the fact that it is her mother who has died. Her world is shattered. Making a craft for any other female in her life would be akin to betrayal for someone who has just lost her mom.

This is the perfect situation for the 3kidzmama to be a shining example of empathy and compassion. To have the daycare families rally around her support of this girl during the most difficult time in her young life. To build her up instead of kick her while she is down.

It isn't 3kidz job to force this girl to "deal" with it. It is her job to CARE for this girl. And the caring thing to do is being a constant source of love and understanding. I think a group of adult women can handle going without a trinket for Mother's Day when the fragile emotional well being of a child whose mother just died is at stake.

I am not one to get up on my soapbox, but dang! Talk about being cruel and thoughtless!!

Well said. My heart breaks for that little girl.

To the 3kidzmama, I commend you too for trying to come up with a way to ease the pain for this little girl.

I think an email or note to the other moms explaining the situation would be gift enough They will understand and love you for the compassion you are showing this little girl. After all, it's not like they won't get anything for Mother's Day if you don't do a craft this year.

[gwenpatt.dc]

Something I did before with a child who lost her father was to send his birthday wishes to him by balloon. We went to a nearby park, sang happy Birthday and had our b-day cake there. Then when she was ready, we released her gift to Daddy and watched it float out of sight. I neglected to mention that they shared a birthday. Depending on what you do for Mother's Day, she could send it off with balloons. Or she could send a photo off. It's going to be painful for your dcg whether you do anything or not. Support her and be there for her. Follow her lead if she wants to do something or not. That's most important.

[familyschoolcare]

Yes, and I am sure she will learn to "deal with it" through her father's guidance and therapy. I think shoving Mother's Day in her face two months after her mother's death is cruel. She is a child. She does not have the tools to "deal" with it yet and won't for sometime. Death is very confusing to young kids and very scary. It is compounded by the fact that it is her mother who has died. Her world is shattered. Making a craft for any other female in her life would be akin to betrayal for someone who has just lost her mom.

This is the perfect situation for the 3kidzmama to be a shining example of empathy and compassion. To have the daycare families rally around her support of this girl during the most difficult time in her young life. To build her up instead of kick her while she is down.

It isn't 3kidz job to force this girl to "deal" with it. It is her job to CARE for this girl. And the caring thing to do is being a constant source of love and understanding. I think a group of adult women can handle going without a trinket for Mother's Day when the fragile emotional well being of a child whose mother just died is at stake.

I am not one to get up on my soapbox, but dang! Talk about being cruel and thoughtless!!

I think perhaps you took my post the wrong way. I was not saying that it was any one job to "force" the girl to "deal". I know I have much different views on death than most of the people in the world. I do not believe in cottling or changing things for others because someone close to them died. In my opinion this makes it harder in the long run. The whole world around her will be "shoving" Mother's day in her face. As far as it being a betrayal that is a persoanl feeling and while the child might feel that way we have no way of knowing unless the child can tell us.

[Country Kids]

Something I did before with a child who lost her father was to send his birthday wishes to him by balloon. We went to a nearby park, sang happy Birthday and had our b-day cake there. Then when she was ready, we released her gift to Daddy and watched it float out of sight. I neglected to mention that they shared a birthday. Depending on what you do for Mother's Day, she could send it off with balloons. Or she could send a photo off. It's going to be painful for your dcg whether you do anything or not. Support her and be there for her. Follow her lead if she wants to do something or not. That's most important.

I LOVE THIS IDEA! I think that would be an awesome thing to do with a child. Please, please make sure that its ok with the Father though or better yet, invite him to be there with the group if you did this. Brings tears to my eyes imagining a little one doing this.

[Former Teacher]

Something I did before with a child who lost her father was to send his birthday wishes to him by balloon. We went to a nearby park, sang happy Birthday and had our b-day cake there. Then when she was ready, we released her gift to Daddy and watched it float out of sight. I neglected to mention that they shared a birthday. Depending on what you do for Mother's Day, she could send it off with balloons. Or she could send a photo off. It's going to be painful for your dcg whether you do anything or not. Support her and be there for her. Follow her lead if she wants to do something or not. That's most important.

Totally off topic but:

Every year on our pets birthdays we send a balloon up. We all say a prayer, kiss the balloon and set it free. Which reminds me. We have to send a balloon to Rainbow Bridge on Saturday. It would have been one of little ones 22nd bday.

Back on topic:

My heart aches for that little girl. What she is going through I can not even being to imagine. While I have no words I just want to commend you for the being there for her. She will need your (and others) strength to build up hers.

[Lianne]

Talk to her father and ask him how he thinks it's best to handle it. Present him with three options. #1 Skip it this year, too fresh for the child. #2 Have her make the craft with the other kids to give to a grandparent or aunt. #3 Have her make the craft for her mother and she and her dad can take it to the cemetery or her mom's favorite spot and leave it for her mom.

A friend lost her husband and when his birthday was approaching, their 4yr old son asked to take his present and a cake to the cemetery. It was a healing time for them and my friend was glad she'd done it.