Want To Provide It All But Simply Cannot. What to Do?

[jojosmommy]

Backstory, hubs is not offered benefits (medical dental 401k etc) at his current place of employment. He is not looking for other jobs simply because his trade really doesn't have much for opportunities anywhere near here. He does get paid pretty well and has 4 weeks vacation which is amazingly helpful with the kids. I worked a job for the school district however my program also didn't allow benefits (way to go "union"). When I had my first we decided we couldn't afford daycare and work somewhere that didn't provide benefits so I starting doing daycare. Now we have 2 kids.

In our area daycare for 2 kids is over $1100 a month. Almost nobody charges pt rates so that isn't even an option.

It has always been our plan for me to go back to work out of the home after my kids enter K. One will enter in 2 yrs one in 5 because of a late birthday. So, to keep current I am always looking at job postings, taking computer classes, and volunteering to keep my resume looking attractive for when the time comes.

Last week hubs found a gov't job for me. Great benefits and pretty good pay. A little less than my last job starting but the benefits were ridiculous. We worked the numbers and I could go back to work to get those good benefits but would be losing a little money compared to what I make now because of the cost of two kids in care.

I've pondered this job since he sent it my way. I feel like I am dragging my feet because I love being home with my kids, love my current dck, and feel like someone else wouldn't take care of my kids like I do (I know I know, crazy). I think I am putting off applying because of the what if's- what if the pay after taxes isn't exactly what I think it will be? I mean in this business, if you want more money you just put an ad out and find another client; I can control that. What if I don't like the job? Here I get to do what I want, I make the schedule, I go outside to the park if I want :: hehe. What if my kids don't do well in daycare?

I feel like I am being pulled in two directions, wanting to provide much better benefits for my family, and wanting to be home with my kids. I simply don't see a way to do both but don't want to sacrifice one for the other. Anyone else feel like they just aren't doing enough for their family, like something major is missing?

[Heidi]

Does that mean you don't have any health insurance? If so, that is pretty scary, and if that's the case, could you add one more kid to your group and use that money to buy at least major medical?

Other than the health insurance, this would be a no-brainer for me, honestly. I have tried it both ways, raised 4 kids and waffled over 22 years with working outside/working inside. I am 100% convinced that the right decision for me is working inside.

While my kids do have to share me, they still get more of me than 2-3 hours a night that would also have to be used for household chores. I run my program so that quite a bit of that gets done during the day.

I am also not a very good employee, I must say. I have too much of an opinion about how things should get done, and at my age (47) find I no longer have the desire to just go-with-the-flow. When I left my last job at a bank, I told my friends there that I was ready to "get off the island", and I was voting MYSELF off! ::

so...that's my perspective...you have to do what feels right to you!

[jojosmommy]

No, we have health insurance. We pay out of pocket for our insurance and it's a lot of our budget because we are not employee sponsored like people who get it through work.

We don't have dental insurance, Employee matching 401k, life insurance provided by our jobs etc. Those are all things that cost us money out of pocket every month since we don't work somewhere it is provided. Some of which we can not afford.

[Blackcat31]

I think the question for you should be do you take this job and the benefits or do you plan on doing daycare as a career? I mean if the opportunity to take a government job came your way, it almost seems ideal as I don't really see any other outside job being better then that.

You really can't play the "what if" game only one way....I mean what if you pass this job up and there is nothing comparable to it when you do decide to stop doing daycare? What if when your kids do go to school, the only job available is something with long hours, low pay and no benefits (oh wait, we do that now with daycare....LOL!) I dunno, if I KNEW I didn't plan on doing daycare forever, I would absolutely take a government job. No holidays, no weekends, no nights, benefits, etc...kinds like daycare just no diapers. ::

You would know exactly when you could go to the park or do things with your kids or get a day off. No daycare clutter, no snotty noses, no disrespectuf parents, etc....

I guess I can't say one way or another as I am much like Heidi and am not a good employee...

I was just trying to show you the other side of the coin. This is a tough position to be in. I guess I would atleast go so far as check out and interview for the job (if it goes that far) and then see what the pros and cons are. Good luck....

[wdmmom]

I think the question for you should be do you take hti sjob and the benefits or do you plan on doing daycare as a career? I mean if the opportunity to take a government job came your way, it almost seems ideal as I don't really see any other outside job being better then that.

You really can't play the "what if" game only one way....I mean what if you pass this job up and there is nothing comparable to it when you do decide to stop doing daycare? What if when your kids do go to school, the only job available is something with long hours, low pay and no benefits (oh wait, we do that now with daycare....LOL!) I dunno, if I KNEW I didn't plan on doing daycare forever, I would absolutely take a government job. No holidays, no weekends, no nights, benefits, etc...kinds like daycare just no diapers. ::

You would know exactly when you could go to the park or do things with your kids or get a day off. No daycare clutter, no snotty noses, no disrespectuf parents, etc....

I guess I can't say one way or another as I am much like Heidi and am not a good employee...

I was just trying to show you the other side of the coin. This is a tough position to be in. I guess I would atleast go so far as check out and interview for the job (if it goes that far) and then see what the pros and cons are. Good luck....

I'm with Black on this one. There are a lot of great benefits to it. I think the pros outweigh the cons.

If I could have a government job, I'd take it in a minute! No nights, no weekends, no holidays (and you get a lot more holidays than just the standard ones.)

Your house is clean, there isn't bacteria or infections being brought in, the waste is less, etc.

I know you don't like the idea of putting your kids in daycare but you never know...you could find somebody great that your kids adore and you trust.

I would definitely apply. What's the worst that could happen?!

[spud912]

Lol I quit my government job to do this job. ::::

I am keeping my credentials for when and IF I want to go back. I've toyed with the idea of doing something completely different, though (when the kids go to school). We all know that government jobs don't pay too much and if I'm quitting daycare, it's to make some real money .

[Crazy8]

I might be in the minority but I don't think I would do it, unless its a really high paying job. I recently calculated the cost of going back to work because I'm going to be down some daycare kids in the Fall and afraid of not getting replacements. I figured I'd have to get a 50k a year job just to make what I do now after taxes. That doesn't include the cost of putting my kids in daycare, so really I'd need a 60k+ job. Now if you are paying out that much for benefits out of pocket it may be worth it to you. For me, if my child had 5 years till Kindy, no it wouldn't be worth it unless I was really bringing in some serious cash (we are talking 6 figures, LOL). I've also been doing this for 11 years - not sure I could ever go work for someone again.

[momofboys]

I have had the itch to get an outside of the home job & I know I could find work - 2 x in the past year I have been offered jobs but I have turned them both down. When it came down to it I would have to make a lot more $$$ to make it worthwhile & the jobs I turned down were decent paying (I do have a 4 year degree) considering I have been out of the loop jobwise since 2003/04 or so. I have 2 SA children of my own & one preschooler - so I would likely have to find someone to get the kids on the bus & someone to watch my youngest DS & drive him to preschool - I would throw away a lot of $$$ on childcare & also gas since most jobs I would consider are about 30 min away. By the time I calculated those costs & subtracted them from any decent paying job I barely make more than I do here at home doing childcare so at this time I am shelfing the idea. Now when my youngest hits 1st grade in 2014 I may consider it if I can get a job with flexible hours - time will tell!