4yr Old Obsessed With Shooting Everything

[jojosmommy]

Wwyd? I have a 4yr old boy who is obsessed with shooting everything. He turns everything into a gun and fake shoots everything all day long. He knows we don't shoot stuff here but will get out of a time out for shooting and immediately go back to shooting something else. Here is what I have tried:
We have NO shooting objects (toy guns/hunting stuff etc) for any kids to play with.
I started with firm reminders "we don't shoot at daycare" or "no guns".
Then moved to taking away the toy he hadn't the time to prevent further fake guns. I send him to play something else.
If he does it again he gets a time out. He always says "I know. No guns at your house."
Within 10min of being allowed to play again he is shooting again .
Now i make him read because he can not play within my rules. He doesn't enjoy this but what other option do I have?
He is constantly shooting at lunch, in the bathroom, on walks, and the most difficult time at nap time. He makes fake shooting noises so there is no getting around it.

I talked to dad about it. Dad doesn't hunt or own any guns but plays some dumb shooting playstation game so that's where this kid sees it. Dad laughed when I mentioned it. :confused:.

So, what do I do to make it clear that shooting is not allowed in this house?

I don't care to discuss gun rights/opinions on real guns. That was recently discussed on the forum.

[Blackcat31]

I think you just need to continue doing what you are already doing. Time out. Reminder that there are no guns/shooting etc at your house. He apparently already gets that but is just forgetting. (goes along with impulse control)

He WILL get it but it will take some time. Just send him to time out and if he goes back to doing it, he goes back to time out. Eventually, he IS going to remember and learn to use his self-control.

Rinse and repeat. Maybe once mom and dad hear how often he has to go to time out, they will step up and start supporting your efforts. I have no issues either with what parents or anyone else chooses to do on their time but when they are at MY house I make the rules and everyone must follow them. period.

Hang in there. I HATE having to break bad habits....

[Meeko]

I have a no guns policy. That means no toy guns, no playing guns, no gun noises. no toys such as tanks, war planes, no water guns, no space ray guns. Also no swords etc.....no weapon of ANY kind....even imaginary. If they build a gun with legos etc, I make them take it apart.

I believe that children have a BiLLION things they can play.
"Killing" each other doesn't have to be one of them.

I too have to work at it. I have a group of brothers who are allowed to watch R rated movies at home, play "mature" video games and play roughly with each other. (They are 12, 9 and 7 and have younger siblings who also see the same crap.)

They know better than to do it here...but they sometimes need reminding.

[sharlan]

I gave up that battle years ago. Mine are running through the house right now with light sabers shooting ninjas.

[Kaddidle Care]

I talked to dad about it. Dad doesn't hunt or own any guns but plays some dumb shooting playstation game so that's where this kid sees it. Dad laughed when I mentioned it. :confused:.

I betcha the kid plays it too. We were having trouble with a couple and found out they were allowed to play games rated T and M! Sorry, not for 4 & 5 year olds.

Just keep doing what you are doing - make the alternative activity nice and boring. He'll catch on.

[Ariana]

I've read a bit of literature that says to not go against the "fighting" play. Apparently going aginst it makes it worse and it's actually a form of play that is not really related to real guns. I think if you google it you could find some stuff about it. Sometimes it's a way for them to work out their emotions over some of the things they see and hear. I have a hard copy of an article but I can't seem to find it online to post it. Here's something that might be interesting: http://www.education.com/magazine/ar...uns_Okay_Play/

If you are still adamant that he not do it I would sit down with him one on one and explain why I didn't want him to do it and ask him to come up with consequences for it.

[Hunni Bee]

I have a no guns policy. That means no toy guns, no playing guns, no gun noises. no toys such as tanks, war planes, no water guns, no space ray guns. Also no swords etc.....no weapon of ANY kind....even imaginary. If they build a gun with legos etc, I make them take it apart.

I believe that children have a BiLLION things they can play.
"Killing" each other doesn't have to be one of them.

I have the same rule. I agree completely.

[Kaddidle Care]

I've read a bit of literature that says to not go against the "fighting" play. Apparently going aginst it makes it worse and it's actually a form of play that is not really related to real guns. I think if you google it you could find some stuff about it. Sometimes it's a way for them to work out their emotions over some of the things they see and hear. I have a hard copy of an article but I can't seem to find it online to post it. Here's something that might be interesting: http://www.education.com/magazine/ar...uns_Okay_Play/

If you are still adamant that he not do it I would sit down with him one on one and explain why I didn't want him to do it and ask him to come up with consequences for it.

Well they can gun fight at home thank-you-very-much! I work in a Church Center and guns and killing just don't fit in if you get my gist.

[MNMum]

I had 2 sweet baby girls...then I birthed a boy, I think he slid out of the womb with a fake gun in his hands. He turns everything into a gun. He is 2.5 yo. I've asked around, I liked this suggestion the best....

"Mr Rogers always said to leave your gun outside."

The rule I enforce is no guns when daycare kids are here. When it is just our family, no shooting people. He likes to search for bears to shoot... I don't think we'll be able to knock guns out of him altogether, but he can learn what is and isn't appropriate.

Many people think it is because my husband is in the military that my son would be interested in guns. We do not have a gun in the house, my husband runs a computer in the army (okay, when he was in Iraq he had to carry a gun, but my kid doesn't know that). He was a third child, and played with all of his sisters' hand me down toys. I don't think it was anything we did that he has such an interest in guns.

[Blackcat31]

Excellent thread on kids and guns from a while back :https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23080

Some other threads on guns/shooting/killing :

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26057

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36470

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13421&highlight=superhero

All of them are excellent reads and a few have some links to articles and research about the "normal-ness" of this type of play among kids if I remember right.

[Hunni Bee]

I am in a high-crime city. People get shot/killed every night here. There were just three people killed in the apartment complex two streets over from my daycare this past WEEK. A three-year-old shot himself with his father's gun last month. The fact that people get shot with guns and die is very real here .

So, for me at lest, its not just "we don't shoot/play guns at daycare". It's the fact that its very important my kids understand that shooting someone is not fun/funny and the person could be hurt very badly or die forever. That the shooter may have to go to jail for a long time. That real guns are NEVER okay for kids to touch and if they ever see one, go get an adult right away.

It may be developmentally appropriate for them to want to play guns, but its also developmentally appropriate for them to pull their hands away in the parking lot or unbuckle their car seats while the car is in motion...but we know better than to allow that, right?

In my dck's world, some of them may very well encounter the gun of their uncle or older brother etc, and I want them to have a serious aversion to it. And just like they are so quick to tell me so-and-so is playing guns at daycare, I hope I have helped them to know to do to that in real life.


I'm climbing off my soapbox now...

[Ariana]

I am in a high-crime city. People get shot/killed every night here. There were just three people killed in the apartment complex two streets over from my daycare this past WEEK. A three-year-old shot himself with his father's gun last month. The fact that people get shot with guns and die is very real here .

So, for me at lest, its not just "we don't shoot/play guns at daycare". It's the fact that its very important my kids understand that shooting someone is not fun/funny and the person could be hurt very badly or die forever. That the shooter may have to go to jail for a long time. That real guns are NEVER okay for kids to touch and if they ever see one, go get an adult right away.

It may be developmentally appropriate for them to want to play guns, but its also developmentally appropriate for them to pull their hands away in the parking lot or unbuckle their car seats while the car is in motion...but we know better than to allow that, right?

In my dck's world, some of them may very well encounter the gun of their uncle or older brother etc, and I want them to have a serious aversion to it. And just like they are so quick to tell me so-and-so is playing guns at daycare, I hope I have helped them to know to do to that in real life.


I'm climbing off my soapbox now...

I think it's extremely important to have these talks about REAL guns and make sure they understand the seriousness of it. I also think teaching gun safety is of utmost importance. However many experts think that shunning "gun play" makes things worse and increases childrens fascination with guns which is the opposite of what you want them to do.

I was completely against gun play. I enforced rules around it at the centre where I worked but nothing ever worked. You can't take away a kids finger. Instead I began doing research into it and came to discover that the play we see is not the same that they see. Shooting a bad guy really isn't about guns, it's about the play position of power and role playing that power. It's all about role playing. I understand that not everyone will agree but I would encourage everyone to do some research and reading into the matter and it might change your mind.

[Meeko]

I've seen three year old's pretend to shoot each other...then stab the "body" and talk about the 'blood going everywhere"...etc.etc. I don't see it as normal play and so I don't allow it at day care.

The violence is honestly quite disturbing to me. Hearing the kids saying "You're dead!" and "I killed you!" with big grins on their faces is something I don't like to see. I personally believe it numbs them to the horror of violent death.

My own children were not allowed to play that way either. JMO.

[SunshineMama]

I have 2 kids like that right now. I tell them that they may only "point" their pretend guns outside the window, and they may not ever even pretend to shoot people at all.

I also tell them (both almost 4) that they may only play that game when the other children are not here yet, or have gone for the day, because the other children are too young to play properly (makes the big kids feel special and want to take responsibility).

They went through this phase, following the rules for a few weeks, then they were done with it. I think if you try to fight it it becomes more special to them and they want to do it more, which causes more stress in the long run.

[Meeko]

In my opinion it is too confusing for a young child to play with toy guns, have "fun" killing their playmates all day and then go home and be told that daddy's gun is off limits.

Why would it be?!
Guns are great fun!!
If you shoot a friend at day care, they just get up and play some more!

I have seen more than one sad news report of confused children who don't understand why their friend/sibling isn't coming back after they played with daddy's gun......