Ahhh...The Terrible Twos!

[Heidi]

I've had this little guy since he was 10 months old, and he has always been SO sweet. He played for long periods by himself, he was compliant, just a fun little guy. I have two younger but bigger toddlers, and they often tortured him (mostly pulling his curls), and he would just cry.

He turned two this month, and it's like someone just flipped a switch!


Hitting (hitting back, initiating hitting, hitting stuff, and hitting adults who correct him). Then there's throwing things, temper tantrums, pretty much every negative behavior.

I usually sit in the playroom and referee pretty much all of playtime. I mean in an hour, I have to break up 10-12 fights, most of which he starts!

I am SO hoping this is a faze, like once his language improves (he's on the low end of normal for that), he'll be able to express himself verbally instead.
In the meantime, I can't go to the bathroom. He WANTS me to take him with me when I leave the room...he'd just as soon have a room to himself somewhere, I think. So, taking him with me to the bathroom not only bothers me (I don't even like my dog in there), but it gives him what he wants...his own adult and/or his own space. Also, the other toddlers will want to come out then too, so I'd have 3 in there, and be trying to break up a fight while I'm trying to do what I am supposed to do in the bathroom....


I am going through our Youngstar rating, and they will be observing me soon. Do you think it would be ok to put him in a chair with a buckle, and give him a book when I have to leave the room for a minute? I won't present it as a punishment...but how do I explain to the rater WHY I am doing this if I can't talk to them?

I would do a pnp, but space is such an issue,and he sleeps in one, so I don't want to send the bed=punishment message.

[Ariana]

Could you take him with you with some quiet toys? If he enjoys being away from the other kids and can manage that might be a good option.

I had this same issue with my own DD and a girl I started who was also around 2. What worked for me was being a shadow for the first hour of the day. I would break up fights non-stop for that hour, teach them how to interact socially and it seemed to ease the tension and made the rest of the day go smoothly. For some reason me shadowing them that first hour seemed to "reset" the behavior and improved their play. I don't have as many kids as you so i'm not sure how feasable this option might be but it's worth a shot.

[Heidi]

Could you take him with you with some quiet toys? If he enjoys being away from the other kids and can manage that might be a good option.

I had this same issue with my own DD and a girl I started who was also around 2. What worked for me was being a shadow for the first hour of the day. I would break up fights non-stop for that hour, teach them how to interact socially and it seemed to ease the tension and made the rest of the day go smoothly. For some reason me shadowing them that first hour seemed to "reset" the behavior and improved their play. I don't have as many kids as you so i'm not sure how feasable this option might be but it's worth a shot.

thanks Ariana-

That's pretty much what I've been doing. He comes at 7 and just hangs with me until the others arrive at 7:30. Then I sit on the floor in my (little) playroom and try to keep a positive flow going until breakfast at 8:30.

The thing is, if I take him out with me, everyone else wants to come out, too. Plus, playing in the bathroom is discouraged around here, so I'd really hate to take all 3 in there and give them toys...

[Ariana]

thanks Ariana-

That's pretty much what I've been doing. He comes at 7 and just hangs with me until the others arrive at 7:30. Then I sit on the floor in my (little) playroom and try to keep a positive flow going until breakfast at 8:30.

The thing is, if I take him out with me, everyone else wants to come out, too. Plus, playing in the bathroom is discouraged around here, so I'd really hate to take all 3 in there and give them toys...

Oh sorry I meant take him with you when the inspector person comes instead of putting him in a chair!! You definately should go to the bathroom by yourself

[Heidi]

Oh sorry I meant take him with you when the inspector person comes instead of putting him in a chair!! You definately should go to the bathroom by yourself

ah...the old do what you do until someone is watching. I feel like I should have gone to ACTING school, not Early Childhood school.

Just for the record, I don't fake my interactions. Those are geniune. It's some of the other things, like never leaving the room (except to go potty), my older kids often play in the next room where I can hear them, but that's not ok with FCCERS.... sitting on the floor and engaging them every 2nd (don't think that's really heathy...as Nan says "doing them")...sanitizing everything a million times per day...checking diapers every 2 hours when I know by now how often they need changes...getting up the minute they wake up (they finally play in their cribs for a little while...and if I did that, nap time would last maybe an hour and everyone would be cranky).

sigh....

[Ariana]

ah...the old do what you do until someone is watching. I feel like I should have gone to ACTING school, not Early Childhood school.

Just for the record, I don't fake my interactions. Those are geniune. It's some of the other things, like never leaving the room (except to go potty), my older kids often play in the next room where I can hear them, but that's not ok with FCCERS.... sitting on the floor and engaging them every 2nd (don't think that's really heathy...as Nan says "doing them")...sanitizing everything a million times per day...checking diapers every 2 hours when I know by now how often they need changes...getting up the minute they wake up (they finally play in their cribs for a little while...and if I did that, nap time would last maybe an hour and everyone would be cranky).

sigh....

What??? I don't understand why you're reacting this way to my post!!! Maybe I'm misreading something?

This is the question I'm responding to when I said perhaps you could take him with you:

I am going through our Youngstar rating, and they will be observing me soon. Do you think it would be ok to put him in a chair with a buckle, and give him a book when I have to leave the room for a minute? I won't present it as a punishment...but how do I explain to the rater WHY I am doing this if I can't talk to them?

I would do a pnp, but space is such an issue,and he sleeps in one, so I don't want to send the bed=punishment message.

You asked if it would be ok so I gave a suggestion. If you want to put him in a chair then do it.

Onviously I'm misreading your question so I'll stop suggesting things

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

Huh?? Im confused.

When I have the little ones, They get put in either their high chair or a pnp so I can go to the bathroom and knowing that they are safe while im doing this.

My dayhome is in the basement so I dont really have a chioce. The older kids can stay down stairs for 2 min while I do my business, the younger ones come up with me and go straight in a pnp or high chair.

[Heidi]

What??? I don't understand why you're reacting this way to my post!!! Maybe I'm misreading something?

This is the question I'm responding to when I said perhaps you could take him with you:



You asked if it would be ok so I gave a suggestion. If you want to put him in a chair then do it.

Onviously I'm misreading your question so I'll stop suggesting things

NOOOOO!!!!

No, I wasn't at all being snarky...just a little sad that I can't just do what works for my group without permission from the great lords of daycare (the raters)! I was NOT directing anything at your suggestion!

I'm so sorry if that's how it came off!

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

If someone (raters, parents, ect,) expect me to take their kids with me, everytime I need to pee or blow my nose, they have another thing coming.

They need to get a grip.

[Ariana]

NOOOOO!!!!

No, I wasn't at all being snarky...just a little sad that I can't just do what works for my group without permission from the great lords of daycare (the raters)! I was NOT directing anything at your suggestion!

I'm so sorry if that's how it came off!

No problem I totally figured I misread what you wrote and with the internet you just never know!!

[Heidi]

No problem I totally figured I misread what you wrote and with the internet you just never know!!

whew!

[Abigail]

ha ha ha ha, I was getting confused over you guys getting confused. Here is my experience. I am going to be doing a program soon where I'll be observed 4 hours at a time. WELL what I have found out with my toddlers is they listen and try to show off in the nice way to the new adult. I always have one I need to keep an eye on, but when they're here observing me they will be fine during those few instances that I need to go the bathroom because the observer isn't going to follow me to the bathroom they are going to stay in the main room. That is my plan. The main thing when someone is their is you being realistic and following through correctly if something does occur in front of them. They are people too and don't expect you to take someone to the bathroom or buckle them in a chair. That would probably be frowned upon here anyways.

If anything, try to figure out the best time to go. If you play music and they dance do they leave each other alone? Can you play a hide and seek game with certain toys to keep them occupied for two minutes? Try to think of things like that.