Dealing With a Child Leaving :(

[Ariana]

It's nothing definite right now but DCM informed me today that they are going through with the seperation and a realtor is coming today to appraise the value of their home for market. She says she wants to keep her kids with me but I'm fearing the worst will happen

I adore these kids and mainly my DD adores her "best friend" and looks forward to seeing her every day. They've been with us for 2 years. I don't know what to do because it will crush my DD if she has to leave. I'm even thinking about decreasing my rates in order to keep them ($$ will be tight for mom when she leaves).

How did your kids take seperation from daycare kids that they've grown to love? Am I just being overdramatic about the whole thing and she'll hardly notice? I'm hoping they are able to stay with me but I'm preparing for the worst....

[Zoe]

Don't say anything to your DD unless something for certain happens. No use upsetting her for no reason. If the dck does end up leaving, have a conversation with your daughter that daycare kids come and go. They don't stay forever. My DD was sad when one of the babies left to stay home with his dad. Yes, she was upset, but I explained to her what he was doing now and she understood. Granted, she is 6 years old.

Regardless, try to make it clear to your daughter that this is what happens with daycare, we are sad to see them go, but happy for them that they are *insert reason for leaving here.

[sharlan]

I had this happen with my daughter and my first daycare family. The oldest girl was 5 days older than my daughter. It really had a negative impact on my daughter for a long time. She started having trouble sleeping, stomach pains, and had trouble making new friends at school.

[wdmmom]

I don't do the 'best friends' clique. The first indication I have that 2 kids are getting chummy, I pair the kids up...the 2 chummy buddies play with the youngest mobile kids in the group. My kids are taught very young not to possess 'ownership' over toys or friends.

The kids I watch are newborn through 5....far too young to even understand friendship. When kids are here, they are playmates. No different than meeting someone at the park and never playing with them again. My group could change tomorrow. My kids might ask about the child that left us but that subsides by day 3. It's no different than changing staff assistants. While I try to provide the same things each day, the playmates I have here is not something I can control.

Someone else's enrollment should have NO factor in any other child's enrollment. Another reason we don't do 'goodbye' parties unless the child is going off to kindy.

[Ariana]

I had this happen with my daughter and my first daycare family. The oldest girl was 5 days older than my daughter. It really had a negative impact on my daughter for a long time. She started having trouble sleeping, stomach pains, and had trouble making new friends at school.

Oh my

How long had the DCK been with you?

[Ariana]

I don't do the 'best friends' clique. The first indication I have that 2 kids are getting chummy, I pair the kids up...the 2 chummy buddies play with the youngest mobile kids in the group. My kids are taught very young not to possess 'ownership' over toys or friends.

The kids I watch are newborn through 5....far too young to even understand friendship. When kids are here, they are playmates. No different than meeting someone at the park and never playing with them again. My group could change tomorrow. My kids might ask about the child that left us but that subsides by day 3. It's no different than changing staff assistants. While I try to provide the same things each day, the playmates I have here is not something I can control.

Someone else's enrollment should have NO factor in any other child's enrollment. Another reason we don't do 'goodbye' parties unless the child is going off to kindy.

I don't take care of that many kids so this is hard for me to do. I've been thinking about taking on another child this age in order to 'break them up' a bit more...

[sharlan]

Oh my

How long had the DCK been with you?

They had been with me for 2 years. The kids got caught up in a really messy divorce.

[daycare]

I am going through this right now as we speak.. Family is getting a divorce. The child has been with me off and on for over a year. The mom has always worked temp jobs and the child often starts and stops again. Which I was always ok with.

Well this last go around, the spot was supposed to be long term. But after the DCD leaving and not helping out with $, the DCM just can't afford to have her child here. I wish I could do it for next to nothing, only because this is my son's best friend. Every morning (weekends included) he asks is *** here yet? I am so sad to have to tell him that he will not be coming back at all after today.

The good news is that kids are very resilient, and bounce back quickly from stuff like this. Don't play into it and if possible try to set up play dates with the BFF for future dates. I do this with some of my past DCK that have either aged out or moved away. Sometimes we have a BBQ and invite mom and dad too. It's fun.

[Ariana]

I am going through this right now as we speak.. Family is getting a divorce. The child has been with me off and on for over a year. The mom has always worked temp jobs and the child often starts and stops again. Which I was always ok with.

Well this last go around, the spot was supposed to be long term. But after the DCD leaving and not helping out with $, the DCM just can't afford to have her child here. I wish I could do it for next to nothing, only because this is my son's best friend. Every morning (weekends included) he asks is *** here yet? I am so sad to have to tell him that he will not be coming back at all after today.

The good news is that kids are very resilient, and bounce back quickly from stuff like this. Don't play into it and if possible try to set up play dates with the BFF for future dates. I do this with some of my past DCK that have either aged out or moved away. Sometimes we have a BBQ and invite mom and dad too. It's fun.

Sounds very similar and I KNOW it may get messy. These kids are emotionally unstable on the best of days so I really feel the best option is to at least keep school and daycare consistant but it's not up to me. The mom seems very adamant about keeping the girls where they are but I know how these situations can go. My fingers are crossed for her...she's a very educated woman so hopefully she'll find a good job and a place to live in this area.

I completely agree with everything you've said about kids being resilient! I also know that if they do move away we will do everything we can to get the girls together for play dates and invite them over for BBQ's and Christmas. It will be sad to see them go because they're also our neighbours so the girls often play together outside

[3girls]

I always feel sad when a dck I've bonded with leaves. I had a little girl wrap up this week (family moving) and we all made her some little goodbye cards and a gift. I think the other children will miss her.

I've had one leave that I was happy about though we all know the type