Divorce and Meeting Kids Needs

[melskids]

OK ladies, I know you can help me.

I'm looking for an article, or any info, on divorced parents who refuse to let their young child take "their" stuff to the other parents house....like clothes, toys, etc. and how this may affect the child emotionally.

TIA

[Blackcat31]

I have had a family like this in the past. It was tough for DCG. Thankfully in her situation, the judge at least mandated she remain in my childcare during BOTH parents visitation time. At least the little girl had some sense of stability. I don't know how she is doing now (it has been 5 years) but I wish I did. Her whole situation always broke my heart because her parents were only being mean to each other but in reality, I am sure hteir DD wa sth etrue victim.

The last "right" in this article:

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childrenanddivorce/qt/chilfrens_right.htm

The section about coping with all that stuff in this article:

http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Children_and_Divorce/visitation.html

Good article about how children feel in divorce situations with vindictive parents.

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=28669&cn=42

[grandmom]

Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt

betweentwoworlds.org

[melskids]

Thank you ladies!

[Meyou]

Do people actually tell their children they can't take their things with them between Mom and Dad's? I'm so naive sometimes.

[melskids]

Do people actually tell their children they can't take their things with them between Mom and Dad's? I'm so naive sometimes.

Unfortunately, yes. And the sad thing is the child is starting to get almost a complex from it.

They buy him all sorts of fancy clothes and expensive toys, and then won't let him take them to the other parents house.

They've gone so far as to strip the childs "cheap" clothes off the minute they get him, and change him into his designer clothes first thing.

He opens presents on his birthday, Christmas, etc. and is so excited to get them, only to have them ripeed away when its time to leave for the other parents house.

This poor kid has nothing he can call his own. It's really sad.

[Meyou]

It just breaks my heart. I'll admit I find it annoying to transport toys and junk back and forth each week between my ex's and my house. However, in the grand scheme of things if two totes full of lego and 10 stuffed animals keep my kids feeling secure and loved then it really isn't a big deal at all, is it?

[MrsB]

Unfortunately, yes. And the sad thing is the child is starting to get almost a complex from it.

They buy him all sorts of fancy clothes and expensive toys, and then won't let him take them to the other parents house.

They've gone so far as to strip the childs "cheap" clothes off the minute they get him, and change him into his designer clothes first thing.

He opens presents on his birthday, Christmas, etc. and is so excited to get them, only to have them ripeed away when its time to leave for the other parents house.

This poor kid has nothing he can call his own. It's really sad.

It really is. I have a set of boys that is like that too. Not so much from the mom's side but the dad and his new wife are just aweful! THey only usually go there one weekend a month so they are always talking about all these toys that they never get to play with. Luckily clothes going back and forth isn't an issue. Sad part is I'm sure dad and step mom buy stuff just to get the boys to want to come there more often. The weekend they do have the boys they plop them in front of the wii or DS and play away every minute of the weekend.