Kids Purposely Trying To Annoy Each Other

[DaycareMom]

I have been watching DCG since she was 3 months old and she is now almost 3. My DD will be 4 soon so they have pretty much grown up together.

Recently, they will both do silly things just to irritate the other. Like calling eachother names. Not bad or nasty names - just "Jill" or some other made up name. And then the other will get mad "don't call me that, it's not my name" and then they will argue back and forth for a few minutes until someone comes to tell me "So and so is calling me Jill and I don't like it"

I will usually just say, "stop calling her Jill, her name is ***XX" and that will fix it for a half hour or so until one of them starts tickling the other or saying or doing something the other doesn't like.

They act like sisters, but it's getting irritating to always referee their silly fights especially when neither are really being bad.

What would you do? Any advice is welcome. Thank you!

[Ariana]

Sounds like they're bored. Annoying one another is a classic boredome game at this age

[MissK]

Sounds like they're bored. Annoying one another is a classic boredome game at this age

Agreed - and yes, theyre definitely acting like sisters. My 2 girls like to do this to each other, anything to get a rise out of the other one. Once they start doing this I know it's time to break out a game or something to occupy them or move onto something else. Though I will admit, there are many time that I tell them to use their words and work it out themselves because I do not want to hear any tattling (I'm mom...I can do that right? )

[DaycareMom]

It's def not boredom. They are doing this constantly - at meal times, while we are on walks, while they are doing arts and crafts, playing barbies, outside play, etc. It doesn't matter how occupied I keep them - and I keep them VERY occupied, as I don't like being bored - they still will just do little things to "bug" the other.

Should I enforce a consequence?

[sharlan]

Sounds like my soon to be 4 and 5 yo. They are cousins, but more like brothers. They are also the best of friends and the worst of enemies.

I send them off to play in seperate areas.

[Meeko]

Sounds like a classic case of sibling rivalry. Day care kids grow up with other kids just like siblings do and I honestly think what they are doing is perfectly normal. Perfectly annoying...but normal just the same!

When my girls were little (they are only 20 months apart) they would fight in a way that would drive me insane. I could deal with out and out fighting, but they would just poke each other verbally and it was maddening.

As their verbal skills got better, I decided to put them to better use. If they started in on each other, I would make them stand in front of me and each give me a long sentence describing their sister in only positive words. I cannot tell you how often it ended up with them both in giggles.

As teenagers, they are now best friends as well as sisters and rarely bicker.

[Ariana]

It's def not boredom. They are doing this constantly - at meal times, while we are on walks, while they are doing arts and crafts, playing barbies, outside play, etc. It doesn't matter how occupied I keep them - and I keep them VERY occupied, as I don't like being bored - they still will just do little things to "bug" the other.

Should I enforce a consequence?

If it's not boredom then I would have them play seperately until they're able to knock it off. It seems like it's becoming a dysfuctional habit

[Lucy]

This may not be the case, but I wonder if they enjoy tattling and getting the other one in trouble. Maybe instead of playing into it by correcting the "offender", just nip it in the bud when you see it first starting by saying a simple "be nice!". I find just saying that gives them a good warning that they are drifting into bad territory. I may have to say it twice in the same little tiff they are having, but it usually works. IF they do come and tattle, I tell them to "tell (the other kid) about it, not ME". Forces them to work out their own problems. Like in your case, I would say, "What do you WANT her to call you?" Then when she answers, say, "Then go ask her to please call you that".

I'm always listening, though. If needed I would step in and make the corrections, but it's always best to nip it before it gets to bad.

[daycare]

I have been watching DCG since she was 3 months old and she is now almost 3. My DD will be 4 soon so they have pretty much grown up together.

Recently, they will both do silly things just to irritate the other. Like calling eachother names. Not bad or nasty names - just "Jill" or some other made up name. And then the other will get mad "don't call me that, it's not my name" and then they will argue back and forth for a few minutes until someone comes to tell me "So and so is calling me Jill and I don't like it"

I will usually just say, "stop calling her Jill, her name is ***XX" and that will fix it for a half hour or so until one of them starts tickling the other or saying or doing something the other doesn't like.

They act like sisters, but it's getting irritating to always referee their silly fights especially when neither are really being bad.

What would you do? Any advice is welcome. Thank you!

hahhahh this sounds like mine and one of my DCK. I just had to sit them both down again today to tell them that they have to use words and show respect for each other.

My son did not want to sit next to DCK and as my son moved chairs, DCK kept moving to the seat next to DCK. So I made them both wait to sit until everyone was seated and gave them the talk above.

I just encourage them to be respectful to each other. If they keep at it, then I make them hold hands with each other and give hugs...They hate it....

[daycare]

hahhahh this sounds like mine and one of my DCK. I just had to sit them both down again today to tell them that they have to use words and show respect for each other.

My son did not want to sit next to DCK and as my son moved chairs, DCK kept moving to the seat next to DCK. So I made them both wait to sit until everyone was seated and gave them the talk above.

I just encourage them to be respectful to each other. If they keep at it, then I make them hold hands with each other and give hugs...They hate it....

Also, if they call names, I would stop them dead in their tracks and tell the person calling names. well since you want to call names, now you get to think of 3 nice names to call ___________> Don't let them off the hook.

When I coach sports the kids are a little older, if they call someone names, I will stop everyone and say listen everyone Johnny wants to call susie some names. Ok Johnny call Susie 3 very wonderful names or tell us 3 lovely things about Susie. Oh boy do the kids hate this. They will say something like, I like her shoes, I like her shirt, she is nice..... Maybe you can tailor it a bit to work for you.

[Bookworm]

I have the same problem. It's 2 girls and everyday during meals, one will start annoying the other and the other will start shouting out "Stop, Sally". This has been going on for a month and I followed some of the same corrections that you guys tried. Well today, I snapped and I told them that whenever they started up with that foolishness, they would have to sit in the kitchen center together to have their meals. If they want to argue, they can do it away from the group so we wouldn't have to hear it.

Well, when I sent them over during morning snack, they actually continued to fight for about 6-7 min. After they finished fighting and ate their snack (they had the same amount of time as everyone else), they rejoined the group. At lunch, they started up again and were immediately sent away. This didn't go over too well because the figured out that I was serious. After a few seconds of furious whispering, they settled down to eat. After nap, they played well with each other until time for snack. Guess what DCG#1 started annoying DCG#2 so she told her ,"I don't like sitting by myself so I am ignoring you". Miraculously, it worked. DCG#1 just liked getting a rise out of the other one and because she couldn't get that attention, she quit. Time will tell if this will always work. Maybe you could try it if you have the space. You never know.

[kendallina]

I have the same thing with my DD and a girl in the preschool who also does extended hours with me. Also, her mom and I are very good friends so we all see each other a lot.

I have them solve it. If someone complains to me, "So-and-so is calling me Jill" then I say to that child, "tell so-and-so that you don't like it". Often when the child does say that they don't like it to the child, the child will stop. It's always soooo much better coming from a child then an adult. If it doesn't stop, I can usually give a 'look' to the offending child and she knows to stop. Or I will reinforce what the child said, "(child) said that she didn't like it.". I don't pay a lot of attention to this behavior (i.e. I pretend to be busy with something when this is going on) because it's just silly little stuff and they need to figure it out. Eventually I've found they're able to do some of this problem solving themselves without getting too upset.

[Lucy]

I have the same thing with my DD and a girl in the preschool who also does extended hours with me. Also, her mom and I are very good friends so we all see each other a lot.

I have them solve it. If someone complains to me, "So-and-so is calling me Jill" then I say to that child, "tell so-and-so that you don't like it". Often when the child does say that they don't like it to the child, the child will stop. It's always soooo much better coming from a child then an adult. If it doesn't stop, I can usually give a 'look' to the offending child and she knows to stop. Or I will reinforce what the child said, "(child) said that she didn't like it.". I don't pay a lot of attention to this behavior (i.e. I pretend to be busy with something when this is going on) because it's just silly little stuff and they need to figure it out. Eventually I've found they're able to do some of this problem solving themselves without getting too upset.

THIS precisely. You could have been quoting me with what you said. This is exactly what I do and how I feel about it.

[familyschoolcare]

Now I know a have "older" children atleast compared to the Op. However, I solve this problem the oposite of what most have poasted. I ignore and try to let them solve it themselves when someone "talltles" about something another child is doing that the tattler should just ignore (here the most comon is Bob is looking at me) I tell the child he is allowed to look at you, or what ever it is (secound most common here is Bob is snapping his fingers). I do however step in when the behavior is not apporiate for daycare such as calling a child stupid. The only problem with this approuch is when the two brothers are in a "mood" I get to listen to youngest say over and over agian "stop looking at me" while consitiaily snapping his fingers. At the same time the oldest is say over and over again stop snapping your fingers, while, following the youngest around the room. It is acually funny to watch. In my cause the boys are bored as they only do it when they are the only ones here.

[Country Kids]

I have one that does this but only one. At the table this child is dismissed and then allowed to come back and finish the meal after everyone is done. Its taking awhile but they are realizing I'm serious in what I say.