Own Kids VS Daycare Kids That Are Same Age

[jojosmommy]

One the parents are worried about competition instead of friendships. That is a red flag to me. Why would you worry about that. In any situation where there are children this could happen. Childcare center, preschool, school, and if with teachers there are favorites!

What is going to happen if something does happen to their child (hurt wise) it was the providers child, the other child was at fault, but the parents want to blame the daycare providers child. What a mess that would be!

I totally understand where the parents are coming from because I had a child in childcare at one time. Seriously, I would have never thought about that. My first worries would have been safety, good food, playtime, amongst other things.

In the end I would be worried that this becoming a "special" parent.

This is what I meant. I have had parents that ask way too many ?? At an interview. The kind that really want a nanny but can't afford one. The kind that think their kids is #1 no matter who is with them or where they are. This would be a red flag for me. If you are comfortable with day care then you will trust that there will undoubtlybe competition and the provider will handle it appropriately. That will happen even if the provider has no kids of her own. Kids are naturally competitive. If your already looking for or brewing up issues then I know my child is going to turn into a pawn to which you blame everything.

And to the others questions about who gets attention in a scuffle? The victim. Even when that's not my son. My child being my priority doesn't mean that they are exempt from the rules or can act like a heathen. In fact they are more respectable and responsible because they know the rules and what I expect.

[SunshineMama]

My kids will never be daycare kids. I allow my kids to roam free, retreat to their own rooms, and have special snacks, hugs, etc. I don't flaunt those things in front of the daycare kids by any means, but I would never put my child on an equal playing field as someone else's kids. Of course everyone follows a core set of rules (respect, manners, etc). But, for example, if I have a 2 hour nap time, day care kids are expected to nap or read quietly in their cots for the duration. If my kids are up early I will get them and play quietly with them. Daycare kids won't eat 1/2 of the food I cook or prepare- my kids will. Like I said, I'm an excellent provider, and my daycare kids don't feel slighted at all, but my kids come before my job. They did when I worked outside the house and they still do now.

[Hunni Bee]

Countrykids and Ariana, totally agree.

Some parents dont get the difference between daycare and home-care. That's why they have no problems leaving them for 12+ hours every day. They think because they're paying you what they feel is top dollar, you should step into their place as parent in their absence.

On some levels that's true. I truly love my dcks, I know tons about each one of them, I think about them when they're not with me. But I'm not their mom. I can't take over her spot, for even one hour a day. Nor would I step.out of my spot as my kids mom (if I had kids ) for even one hour a day.

Like Country said, competition will exist with all kids over an adult, same age or not, related or not. That's just the nature of children. If the parent has misgivings about whether her children will be treated right or not, she should look elsewhere. But to ask that a provider alter the relationship with her own kids is wrong, IMO.

[AmyLeigh]

I am appalled that a person, a parent no less, would even dare ask another parent whom they would favor, their own child or a virtual stranger's child. Isn't that a no-brainer???
This is not a fair question. It's kinda setting the provider up, don't you think? If she said, my child if the preferred child, it sounds cold to the dcparent. But, if she said, oh no, your child will come before mine, what kind of parent is this???
I would seriously not want to leave my child with a person who doesn't have a strong attachment to their own child. I can understand the struggles the dcparents are dealing with, leaving their precious child with someone else. This is because I have children of my own. I worked outside of the home and had to leave them in the care of someone else. I never doubted that their provider loved her own child more than mine. I was okay with that. I expected that. I wanted that in a provider. Most parents should understand that while the provider will love the dck, no one can love their child like a parent does. But that does not prevent me or anyone else from taking excellent care of the children while they are under our supervision.

[saved4always]

My kids are older now so I haven't had any daycare kids anywhere near their ages in a while. But, when my daughter was 3 yo, I watched another little girl who was 4 yo and they were best buds. I was very sad when her mom lost her job and she no longer came. Both girls were so busy playing, I don't think either of them even wanted my attention...!

Most of the other children I watched were at least a little younger than my daughter. I have actually never worried about whether I was expected to treat the daycare kids the same or whether I treated my daughter with favoritism. When my daughter was younger, I absolutely did always favor her because she was my baby and I did not feel it would be fair to treat her like a dck when she is my own child. Now, this would be favoring in not having to take a nap or playing in her room...not in discipline...if she was naughty, she knew it was not ok and she would go in time out as fast as anyone else. I have always been affectionate with my dck's and gave them attention, but I have always made a point to my daughter of her knowing that she has my heart. The dck's were always happy and my daughter did not feel a need to be jealous that someone was taking her mommy.

[cheerfuldom]

I am appalled that a person, a parent no less, would even dare ask another parent whom they would favor, their own child or a virtual stranger's child. Isn't that a no-brainer???
This is not a fair question. It's kinda setting the provider up, don't you think? If she said, my child if the preferred child, it sounds cold to the dcparent. But, if she said, oh no, your child will come before mine, what kind of parent is this???
I would seriously not want to leave my child with a person who doesn't have a strong attachment to their own child. I can understand the struggles the dcparents are dealing with, leaving their precious child with someone else. This is because I have children of my own. I worked outside of the home and had to leave them in the care of someone else. I never doubted that their provider loved her own child more than mine. I was okay with that. I expected that. I wanted that in a provider. Most parents should understand that while the provider will love the dck, no one can love their child like a parent does. But that does not prevent me or anyone else from taking excellent care of the children while they are under our supervision.

I absolutely agree with this. I find it a bit strange that a parent would even question the issue in a certain way.....a concern yes, but digging and pushing and being annoying about the subject is something different.