Warning Signs

[SimpleMom]

The problem with trusting my gut is I'm a "see the positive in every person" kind of thinker, so I have a hard time feeling the gut part apart from that. plus i see my daycare as a ministry to families too, so in some ways, I'm attracted to the families who are going through a tough time. This poor kids really needs some good stability in his life right now.

I am the same way It works better for me to only take in one "tough" one at a time. I am only one person and all of my group needs me. I've learned it's ok to say no cuz if you don't you may find that one of your other kiddos gets hurt or you get completely exhausted. IMHO

I had one interview with wonderful family and loved the kids. They were honest and let me know the one child had some issues. I contemplated it and in the end both the family and I felt the child would be better fit in a Center where they would have more teacher's on-hand and more on-the-go activities to help keep behaviors at bay. I was still ministering to the family and child by being honest and finding a better alternative. I could have taken the child in , but most of my kids would have been neglected if I did--or that child would have. kwim?

That's just my experience to share though

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

After reading your post, I think you should run far, far away.

[Lilbutterflie]

I can foresee LOTS of potential issues coming up with this family:

1-Divorce can cause so many issues. Parents bickering, lack of communication b/w both of them, problems with the child acting out, pickup/dropoff miscommunications, payment miscommunications, etc... That's not to say that it can't work though. You can sit them both down, have a meeting, and tell them what you expect from them. NO bickering in your house. NO bad mouthing the other in your house. ONE of them is responsible for paying, not both. You will need CLEAR and PREPLANNED schedules from them outlining who will be picking up/dropping off and when. It could work, you just need to lay down the law in the beginning.

2-Mom is overprotective. Give her updates on how well he eats independently at your house and how independently he plays and enjoys himself. If he gets hurt, write an incident report each and every time. You will need it. Keep her informed, and I think she will be happy.

3-You might just end up with a special needs child at some point (given the phone conversation you overheard b/w the parents). My gut says it's a behavior disorder (hence dcm said he likes to be in control and she allows him to be); but I could be wrong.

4-Private nanny background- they often will consider you their employee and try to control you and your daycare. As long as you have made it clear that it is your daycare and you run it according to your own policies; I think it will be fine. You will need to use your backbone with this family.

All that said, the boy is great and it just might work out. If you have concerns before the trial is up, suggest a meeting and talk about your concerns with them honestly. You might be surprised at how much mom wants this to work and how much she is willing to do to make it work.

I have a dcb (now 17 months) whose mom raised all kinds of red flags with me during the interview and even in the first few weeks. I stuck it out, and a year later he has turned out to be one of the sweetest, most wonderful little daycare boys I've had. And his mom has turned out to be the absolute best daycare parent I have had to date!

[Jenniferdawn]

Thanks for all the advise. Backbone will be necessary for sure with this family. I'm growing in that area. I'm going to see how these next two weeks go and then we will talk. Dcb is going to stay with his grandma for three weeks after that (I think they are doing court stuff, moving houses etc) so I will have a good chunk of time to think things through.

[3girls]

I've had one interview I was glad to see the end of. This dad came in boasting about his great job and how well his restaurant was doing and how he also did all the childrearing cause mom didn't do much parenting (...totally got the controlling abuser vibe from this guy) wanted a rotating schedule for his infant and toddler depending on his schedule for the week that he would let me know the week before and sometimes it would just be an hour here n there but wanted me to be available every day if needed AND HIS LAST DAYCARE ONLY CHARGED HIM $350 A MONTH!!!

[MizzCheryl]

You gotta trust your gut!
I interviewed a couple last year. They stayed an hour and a half. It was 8pm when they left. OMG!!!
I was so stired I thought geez those people were weird!
Then my husband came in and said GEEZ those people were weird.
Dad was all boastfull and bossy. Mom was sweet but dad was weird.
Needless to say I called them to tell them I would not be taking their child. I left them a nice message and told them they could call me back but at this time I would not be able to take their child. They went to several provders around and interviewed. They were weird!
SO Glad I didn't take them. They even called me back about 2 months later when their current provider dumped (the one the downed the whole interview with me) them and wanted to know why I didn't like them.

[Lucy]

Weird stories
Bashing past providers
Obsessing over some minute aspect of the contract (like exactly how they get to use their vacation)
Asking for special treatment
Treating me like an employee

I can attest to the first two being true. I had a mom of 2 kids come for an interview and made the past provider sound awful. She mentioned the provider's first name, and it was unique, so I remembered it. I then when to a training and lo and behold, sat next to a provider with that same name from my town. Yes, it was her, and I heard the REAL story!! Everything the other provider said about this family turned out to be true. They were one of my worst families in 18 years.

[texascare]

Parents who are late to the interview
Ones who try to tell me how to do my job.
If they ask you up front "do you have insurance?"
ones that ask you for a lower rate or try to negotiate my rate
number of daycares or providers they have had in the past
If they seem real picky
After 22 years I get the gut feeling from the phone interview. If I do decide to interview then face to face an dI am undomfortable then it is a no go!

[SilverSabre25]

Trial period warning signs:
Bringing child sick
Needing repeated reminders of the policies they just signed
No call/No show
Bringing child in late/picking up late


Oh! Another interview warning:
Having an issue with one of your core policies (sick, payment rules/amount, vacation, etc), but signing with you anyway. Watch for them to leave as soon as they find new care

[MrsB]

A red flag for me would be an exchange like this...

Me - So what are each of your work hours

Mom - 8-430
Dad - 7-400

Me - And what kind of daycare times are you looking for

Mom - Uhhhh well, I, uhhh, sometimes I have to work late or go in early, but uhh your hours are 6-6 right?

I always ask work hours first and then ask hours they need for care. Catches the "u keep my kids as long as possible" type parents right off the bat.

2nd red flag - I pick up my child at their other provider and she is always looking a hot mess, like she doesnt keep her hair nice, her shoes are always dirty, and she has stains on her pretty dresses. Uhhh this is not the daycare for you!

3rd - They have not thought about a back up, if I am sick, their child is sick, or they can't make it here on time. I always ask if they have friends or family that they are close with that they can use as backup in case of an emergency. I am more concerned about the families that haven't even thought about it more than the ones that flat out answer, We have no one we are not from this area. (Alot of military families)

[Ariana]

One huge red flad for me as well is when there is a discrepancy between an e-mail and what they say in person. I had a mom come to he interview telling me her crazy hours and how sometimes she'll need me until late and sometimes not etc. In her e-mail she failed to mention any of this. Then when I began telling her I don't think this was what I was looking for she began trying to get me to take her older son. She talked non-stop. very hard to get a word in. Didn't ask me any questions really, just wanted to tell me what she wanted me to do. ummm nope, not gonna happen