Needing Encouragement

[MsKara]

I posted this, but it didn't go through, so here we go again!

Ever since I started daycare I've been having problems. Since January I've had to let two kids go. One cried because she never wanted to be put down and the mother insisted on holding her 24/7, the next kid I let go was because the parents kept sneaking him in sick. Now I have a child who bites and hits and rams toys into everyone and thinks it's funny, despite the time-outs. Then he tells his mom how much he dislikes daycare because I yell at him all the time. BUT, I HAVE to yell at him all the time because he misbehaves so badly. And another child who screams the entire time they are napping and never stops, and another child who will not sit down and rest for rest time. I have to sit with him and make sure he stays quiet and/or watches a movie, and it's fighting me the whole time. I don't get any breaks!! I'm at my wits end and I spend every night in tears because I don't understand why it is so hard all the time. I guess I just need a little encouragment. Is it always like this? Is it really always this hard?

[missnikki]

no, Ms Kara, it's not. Sometimes, when it rains, it pours! That's what this site is about most of the time. Hang in there, you'll see- when you least expect it, your group dynamic will be playful and happy, then tired, then wake up smiling, then you go to bed at night laughing about the funny thing the kids said, or hang a great project on the wall...
They feed off of your energy. Try to sty positive and calm, it will rub off hopefully!

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I wish I could let you in on window into my world,.. It isnt always like that,.. but it isnt always great either. Some days everyone is great and other days you want to leave them in their parents cars. . Today for example,.. I have everyone asleep and snoozing when my state inspector comes in,.. banging on the door,.. I dont think anyone has ever yelled at her before,.. but I did,... shhh,.. keep your voice down,.. please stop slamming doors. do you REALLY need to test the firealarms? etc,... she seemed to respect that and was in and out in under 5 minutes. Im lacking two pieces of paperwork but other than that Im ok.

Bottom line,.. just like ever other job,.. good days and bad,.. happy and sad. It sounds like your group isnt flowing good. Maybe some weeding of your garden would help? replace the stubborn plants with a more soothing variety (term the more difficult ones and find some that groove with you more)

good luck!!!!!!

[MarinaVanessa]

The thing to remember is that if you do not act like you are in control then the kids will notice and take control. Yelling, screaming, becoming angry etc. is not going to help you at all. I find that plastering a huge fake smile on my face when I talk to the kiddos and talking to them in a soft and perky voice all of the times (even when all I want to do is hang them upside-down by their shoelaces) helps the situation out. If I also yell, they yell louder. If parent's know that you yell at the kiddos, the parents may not like it. Take a deep breath ... and let it out slowly.

Some days are harder than others and things will get better. If a child is hitting, biting or being violent ... call the parents and have the child picked up. If a child is simply not listening and time-out is not helping ... try excluding the child from other fun activities and explain that when he/she is ready to listen they can participate. Child screaming through nap-time? How old is the child? If he/she is under 4 or 5 you and can't climb out of a crib or pack'n play put that child in a seperate room away from the rest of the kiddos and let him/her cry it out. Either the child will eventually fall asleep or learn to not cry to be allowed to rest with the rest of the kids. Just remember to check on the child every 15 minutes. The child that doesn't sit during quiet-time ... how old is that child? If that child is older like school-age why not have that child watch a video or play a computer game with headphones? Sounds like that child may just need the an interesting diversion. I'll try to think about it some more and try to get more ideas.

[Unregistered]

What I do when I'm upset is take a deep breathe and then lower my voice a few notches each time I have to speak to dck when they are in trouble. It really helps me not to yell. Hang in there. There are good days and bad. I was an elementary teacher for ten years so dealing with 6 kids even if they are cranky is heaven for me. ;-) What I can say that I learned in those ten years is to always expect something to happen because if not, I would have had a million horrible days.

[Unregistered]

Bottom line,.. just like ever other job,.. good days and bad,.. happy and sad. It sounds like your group isnt flowing good. Maybe some weeding of your garden would help? replace the stubborn plants with a more soothing variety (term the more difficult ones and find some that groove with you more)

good luck!!!!!!

Partial quote, perfect post for this thread. So very well said.

Try your best not to yell - unless it's a dangerous situation. Count to 10 for yourself and let them count too! I just found out today that counting to 10 with a rowdy child at naptime worked wonders - I told him to count with me and he did and settled right down!

Every child is different and what works for yours doesn't necessarily work for others. It's your job to find the key to the puzzle.

#1 keep them busy! Have a plan before the day starts and do your best to stick with it.

Watercolors are great - they clean up easy
Circle time, book time - get a routine going

Biters are usually poor communicators - do your best to get them to communicate. Find their anger triggers.
Most places have a 3 strike policy - 3 bites and the child is out. You must be firm.

Make sure you don't have too many children to watch by yourself. Just having one more person come in mid-day so you can eat lunch for 1/2 an hour will do you wonders - even if you have to pay someone else for that 1/2 hour.

Take a breath - remember, they're children. You can teach them how to behave in your place even if they behave horribly in their own homes. You CAN do this - hang in there!