Extremely Stressed... Don’t Know What To Do Anymore...

[Heidi]

Is this a written rule? Cheeky chick is that a rule for us? I never remember seeing it in my book?

I'm pretty sure it's in our documenation. It's been drilled into me since day 1..:confused:

[JenNJ]

I'm not licensed. But, I maintain privacy for ALL my clients. I don't tell who brought in the flu, who brought in a toy gun, or who is getting divorced. I don't say these things because kids make age appropriate mistakes and have age appropriate behaviors and I don't want Johnny's mom getting mad at Sally for doing normal two year things and telling Johnny to stay away from Sally.

Of course once the kids start talking, they will tell them what happened anyway!

[Soupyszoo]

yes i only have these 2 kids!!! so its obvious. i agree that the parent should know, im stressed and so tired of her biting i put her in a time out but i dont think she really cares, she keeps on doing it. and according to the mom the biter is an "Angel" at home ( she recently moved in with grandparents) i honestly think that is the reason shes become so bratty. grrrrr .. thanks i hope all goes well because i know id be very upset if thiis was my child. i dont even know what to say :/

The annoying kid isn't completely blameless either! They need to know that there are boundaries, and it sounds like you've had other situations with that child as well.

I definitely don't envy you!

I had a situation like this yesterday... Loooong story short, my kids were with me in a social situation and there was another little girl, preschool age. This kid was tyrant UNTIL any adult would look over. I caught her hitting kicking and biting both my DDs. The parents did nothing. I had to be the one to discipline their kid numerous times. In the end I caught her standing on my 2yo legs while she was playing with a toy on the ground. I can honestly say my kids did nothing to instigate this behavior at all and they were actually SCARED!

I really don't believe that this biter is an angel at home. Just sayin. Sorry so long

[saved4always]

I had a very similar situation where 2 yo dcg would take toys from and physically push 1.5 yo dcb who would than bite dcg. He wanted her to give the toy back or for her to back off and, unfortunately, biting got him what he wanted since he could not yet express himself well verbally. So, dcg was not totally blameless in the situation. After the first bite, I watched them very closely so I could intervene before another bite. When watching for signs, I found that it was always dcg who started it by taking toys or pushing so it ended up being dcg whose behaviour I would stop. Dcb did get her one other time when I was across the room and didn't get there quite in time to stop him. Dcg's parents were not thrilled that she was bit twice, but I made sure to let them know that, while I felt bad that she was bitten, she was not totally innocent and a change in her behavior was needed, too.

As for your biter being an "angel" at home; if the child has no siblings or if the siblings are way older or passive, it could very well be that there is not biting happening at home. That is why I would let the parents know what is leading up to the biting and ask for them to reinforce the "no biting" at home. In my case, the parents of the biter really felt awful and tried very hard at home to reinforce not biting...I think they even got a book about biting to read with dcb during that time. It is very important that both sets of parents get on board to help you stop the bad behavior of both children.

[Jewels]

My own daughter was a bad biter for a while, biting can be a hard thing to stop, you literally can not take your eyes off them, and they get smart enough to know not to bite while your around, and to stop it, you really have to catch them right while they are doing it, ITs a hard thing to discnipline after it happens. My daughter was leaving good marks, drew blood a couple times, and usually always on the same kid, the parents knew I was doing everything to stop her, I was shadowing her, I started with firm time outs, taking her out of the situation, and not letting her back.....didn't work, I went to bringing her down to her room.....didn't work, I resorted to some whacks on the bottom(in her room away from everyone, I know this is not allowed but she needed to stop) we talked numerous time about using words blah blah blah....my last straw was the last time I caught her, I bit her back, and I felt awful about it, but it worked and she never has bitten again, and that was a year ago.......now this was my own daughter so I could do slightly more, I even let the parents of the other boy know everything I was doing with her. Now I had another boy who was a biter, and after shadowing him, and catching him right when he was going to bite every time for a few weeks it stopped, But for a few weeks I got nothing else done, and shadowing is so exhausting, I literally could not leave his side, or him mine, if I left him, and someone made him mad and I wasn't watching he would bite right away..I have a feeling my just turned 15 month old is going to start biting, she just tried to bite someone the other day, and her mom told me she bit her when she got mad.....biting is so much fun...

[Heidi]

My own daughter was a bad biter for a while, biting can be a hard thing to stop, you literally can not take your eyes off them, and they get smart enough to know not to bite while your around, and to stop it, you really have to catch them right while they are doing it, ITs a hard thing to discnipline after it happens. My daughter was leaving good marks, drew blood a couple times, and usually always on the same kid, the parents knew I was doing everything to stop her, I was shadowing her, I started with firm time outs, taking her out of the situation, and not letting her back.....didn't work, I went to bringing her down to her room.....didn't work, I resorted to some whacks on the bottom(in her room away from everyone, I know this is not allowed but she needed to stop) we talked numerous time about using words blah blah blah....my last straw was the last time I caught her, I bit her back, and I felt awful about it, but it worked and she never has bitten again, and that was a year ago.......now this was my own daughter so I could do slightly more, I even let the parents of the other boy know everything I was doing with her. Now I had another boy who was a biter, and after shadowing him, and catching him right when he was going to bite every time for a few weeks it stopped, But for a few weeks I got nothing else done, and shadowing is so exhausting, I literally could not leave his side, or him mine, if I left him, and someone made him mad and I wasn't watching he would bite right away..I have a feeling my just turned 15 month old is going to start biting, she just tried to bite someone the other day, and her mom told me she bit her when she got mad.....biting is so much fun...

How old was your dd at the time? I could imagine it would work with an older child, but not with a toddler. With an older child, it could be more of a demonstration, and I would say I would never bite a child, but could show the child that when she bites (have her bite her own arm?) it REALLY HURTS.

BTW, you are not the first person that has done that, but most people probably wouldn't cop to it. It's certainly not an option with dck's though....

!

[JJPlaycare]

I had the same situation awhile back. 2 boys, one had spacial boundary issues and the other was somewhat aggressive, but more so got annoyed with the other child being in his space. They started biting eachother! Anyhoo the ONLY thing that worked for me was seperating them at freeplay time when I couldn't have a constant eye or hover around them. I set up a play yard, filled with toys to seperate them. They took turns who was in the playyard and it wasn't used for punishment. It was still hard to keep spacial boundary child away from the play yard or yelling to the other child to come to him when he was in the play yard, but they soon learned that it was MUCH more fun to play in the group then by themselves and it nipped the biting in the bud REAL quick. I made sure they knew why they had to be seperated during free play as well

[littlemisssunshine]

I had the same situation awhile back. 2 boys, one had spacial boundary issues and the other was somewhat aggressive, but more so got annoyed with the other child being in his space. They started biting eachother! Anyhoo the ONLY thing that worked for me was seperating them at freeplay time when I couldn't have a constant eye or hover around them. I set up a play yard, filled with toys to seperate them. They took turns who was in the playyard and it wasn't used for punishment. It was still hard to keep spacial boundary child away from the play yard or yelling to the other child to come to him when he was in the play yard, but they soon learned that it was MUCH more fun to play in the group then by themselves and it nipped the biting in the bud REAL quick. I made sure they knew why they had to be seperated during free play as well

how old were the boys not quite sure if the 2y3mo old would fit in the play yard?

[JJPlaycare]

They were 1.5 - just over 2. I am not talking a pack n play. Its a pastic play yard with no bottom, you can even buy extenders. It creates a pretty nice size play area, but not huge where it takes up to much space. I actually used 4 panels and then 2 walls and made a nice little corner area for them to play, worked out nice. Was the size of my carpet floor track, that was the rug I used thats how I know and then I filled the area with cars! LOL My play yard I believe has 8 panels and then I bought 2 extenders and I use it for outside play with my crawlers! : )

[countrymom]

I have a dcg who use to bite, she was the split second kid. No matter how much you watched her, she could do it in a second. But the gma (mom she dcg lived with gma) didn't really believe me, and thought that she was provoked, till one day dcg bit gma so hard that she drew blood. They fixed her and she never bit again. Don't worry, one day she will bite a family member and then the situation will be fixed. I really have no suggestions, because i tried them all.

[cheerfuldom]

If you cannot keep this biter away from the others at all time and shadow her till she is through this stage, you need to term before you lose the other family (the one who is getting bitten). Biting is a hard stage to get through and nothing else works in my opinion but separating/shadowing.

[wdmmom]

I have had 2 bites while under my clock. 1 of which I don't feel was preventable, the other, however, was. I have learned from them both and that's why I decided to do things a little differently.

When my staff assistant isn't available for that in between time while I'm in the kitchen fixing lunch, I do a few different things to keep the children safe:

1.) Prep as much ahead of time the night before, that way the time spent in the kitchen is less.

2.) Each child has their own blanket here. We put the blankets down and they sit on them. It is like their own personal bubble. One can't go into the others and they are spread far enough apart that they take a few toys to the blanket or I turn on the tv to keep them occupied while I am cooking.

3.) The "culprit" gets a one way visit to "My-Side-Ville". I will put them in a booster seat and they get to hang out in the doorway of the kitchen so I can see them every single second. I do this for anyone that can't be trusted.

All of these tactics work great here!

I agree with the previous poster that said not to disclose the name of the biter. I'd fill out an incident report to keep on file explaining what happened, when, and the actions leading up to it. I would have the parents of the biter and the bitee sign a separate form and put in their file.