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Thank you all for your well wishes! Although if I could do anything to bring him back I would, I can't imagine who I would be today not going through it all.
I guess my point is that all accidents are preventable. In my case, Dad could have checked the door, he could of overturned the bucket of water, he could have taken baby upstairs with him, he could have left him in his high chair, he could have dropped him in his pack n play, he could have changed the 2 yr old downstairs.
I also agree that every case should be investigated and all the details taken into consideration.
In this case I dont feel like I have enough information to pass judgement on the mom that she should be held criminaly liable. Even with her reading the magazine. After I got to hear all the details, I may change my mind and say it was negligent and deserves additional punishment. Just can't form one on the information given. You just never know with news these days how they spin articles either.
Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all accidents should just be summed up as accidents either.
Just after all my experiences, I decided to refuse to pass judgement.
My major issue with these types of situations is that families/society want to see people "pay" and want "justice" to be served. My opinion regarless of what the circumstances or who was at fault whether it be a friend/ DC provider/ parent who was responsible, There is no justice when a child dies, ever. Accident or otherwise. Someone paying for the loss of my son, doesnt make my pain or the loss any less.Comment
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Very well said Mrs. B. I would like to bring something up that you said. You said all the things that your ex husband could have done but didn't. When I was saying about passing judgement if this lady came to the board, I was thinking of the things your ex husband could have done. Everyone said to you-we are sorry, and yes that was an accident. Yet you came up with many things your ex husband could have done to prevent it. Not one person said he was negligent and should be charged with a crime, they all saw it as an accident.
Thats why I was wondering if she came on the board and wrote her story would people say, yes it was an accident or say she was negligent to her.Each day is a fresh start
Never look back on regrets
Live life to the fullest
We only get one shot at this!!
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Yes, as a matter of fact, I did say something to her. I understand that she may feel awful about the whole thing but bottom line is she COULD have done something to prevent it and didn't.
Did I say those words to her? Yes, I did. I didn't say them so bluntly but I did let her know that she could have done something different. She could have prevented this whole situation had she not felt the need to go outside the hotel/pool area and have a smoke.
I told her it was a shame that her need to smoke outweighed the right of the mother of the dead child to have him supervised to the best of this gals ability.
I was VERY clear that I do not feel it was a tragic accident. She knows exactly how I feel.
So yes, in response to your question, I did share my thoughts and feelings with her.
I also stand by my statement that I do not change what I think and feel between posting here and what I think and feel in real life.Comment
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Unfortunately, these things do happen quite often. We can only be as careful as we can. Tired parents leave their sleeping infant in the car instead of going to daycare. Not that many years ago, a young couple raced their fevered toddler to the E.R, and because she was so miserable, mom took her on her lap and held her. Someone ran into them, and the child died. They prosected the parents. I'm not sure I agree. Of course, she should have been in a carseat, but I can understand a young couple thinking it would be ok just this once when she was inconsolable.
My ex and I once found our friend's toddler on top of a stack of oil cans at a big-box store. They were around the corner, and we just happened on the scene. They had parked the cart right next to the stack, and he just scaled it!
It could easily have been a tragedy! My own sons decided once it was a GREAT idea to make an enormous hole in the sand (by our lake house) and climb in. They were 11 & 13 at the time. With just the right conditions, it could have been a disaster. Gosh, for that matter, I am suprised my husband or I survived our childhood sometimes. He screamed around on mini bikes at 9, sans helmet. I once pulled the door open in a taxi cab in Germany as a toddler (in the days before carseats), and held on for dear life as we went around a corner. My mom said she saw the cab driver age ten years right before her eyes. Vacations used to be they'd throw you in the back seat, toss a sausage back there, and take off. Seat belts? Heck, we used to lay in the back of the station wagon and "camp" the whole way!
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I'm surprised many of us have made it this far growing up in the times we did. There were no "safety" laws in effect so did alot of children die because of this and that is why we have the laws now or where they just put in place because none were there. Where our parents deemed "neglectful",-no.
I've had my share of accidents, near misses, and what were my parents thinking! To this day though no broken bones, have all my organs but my gallbladder and love to remember the way I use to play.
The first month of kindergarten my son broke his arm at school but you know what things happen. The teacher couldn't have stopped it and live went on. No, he didn't die but he couldn't have been injured alot worse but he was being looked out for that day.
BBO, if you did that taxi thing now, I'm sure the authorities would have you in foster care within the hour. I remember many trips laying in the back window of the car lounging in the sun on a trip-boy were those the days!Each day is a fresh start
Never look back on regrets
Live life to the fullest
We only get one shot at this!!
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This reminds me of when I was a child. I was the oldest of 5 and we went on road trips all the time. My dad raced motorcycles. We too got thrown in the back of my dads van, we had a full size bed in the back and no seats. We stopped at a gas station and all used the potty. Everyone got back in and mom and dad would have us count off. Well someone counted off for my brother he was 8 or 9 at the time. He got left at the gas station. We didnt notice until about a half hour down the road. We got stopped by the police on our way back to get him. They had him. My brother was consoled, put back in the back with us and we were on the road again. I dont really recall my parents feelings at the time but I am sure they felt aweful! My brother didnt have any lasting effects from it. On occasion it gets brought up jokingly and still no one has admitted that they were the one that called his number!
Guess this kind of proves my point. No one could say what would have happened, had something serious happened to my brother. But throwing my parents in jail and taking 4 other kids away from their family unit I am not sure would have been fair either.
For the record, those family road trips, were some of the best days of my life!
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This happened to my husband and a brother or two other brothers. All I know is they love to tell the story and of course they add extra things to it just to get to my MIL. She takes it all in stride though and they all laugh about it to this day-This reminds me of when I was a child. I was the oldest of 5 and we went on road trips all the time. My dad raced motorcycles. We too got thrown in the back of my dads van, we had a full size bed in the back and no seats. We stopped at a gas station and all used the potty. Everyone got back in and mom and dad would have us count off. Well someone counted off for my brother he was 8 or 9 at the time. He got left at the gas station. We didnt notice until about a half hour down the road. We got stopped by the police on our way back to get him. They had him. My brother was consoled, put back in the back with us and we were on the road again. I dont really recall my parents feelings at the time but I am sure they felt aweful! My brother didnt have any lasting effects from it. On occasion it gets brought up jokingly and still no one has admitted that they were the one that called his number!
Guess this kind of proves my point. No one could say what would have happened, had something serious happened to my brother. But throwing my parents in jail and taking 4 other kids away from their family unit I am not sure would have been fair either.
For the record, those family road trips, were some of the best days of my life!
Each day is a fresh start
Never look back on regrets
Live life to the fullest
We only get one shot at this!!
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my dh forgot ds in best buy. Its so funny to this day. Ds was 9 at the time and he loves to play the video games at best buy. Well dh went in with him but didn't come out with him. So me and the girls are sitting in the van and dh sits down in the van, and I ask him where ds was and he goes "oh sh*t I forgot him" omg, did we ever laugh. Goes and gets him and he's laughing too. I knew one day we would leave one behind, thats what happens when you have 4 kids.Comment
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Washing machine tragedy here too....
From our local paper this past week.
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It's the same story, just told two different ways.
My dad once had a "showdown" with a mafia-used-car-salesman on Cicero Avenue in Chicago. Being a newly-arrived foreigner, he didn't really realize who he was dealing with, and when the car broke down on the way home, my dad confronted him. He got a lickin' for his troubles, from Mr. Mafia's "associates".
Mike Rycko did a story on it, and described my dad has a frail, demure little man.
HA! My dad was 6 '4", and he was definately NOT demure.
I read the article as an adult, and it taught me to take everything I see or read with a "grain of salt".Comment
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Deeply saddening. My heart goes out to the family.
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