Washing Machine Tragedy

[JenNJ]

That is such a horrible story, but I agree 100% that it was preventable. Also agree that she most likely will not even be charged with a crime. THAT is the real horror.

[JenNJ]

I have to say, that I feel for this mother. I can't imagine living with this for the rest of your life knowing that it could have been prevented. In my eyes that is punishment enough in its eyes. It wasn't a deliberate act, it was an accident. If she had been a helicopter parent everyone would have come down on her for that also because she would have been to over bearing on her child and never let them explore.

Please don't pass judgement on this mother, we don't even know her. She just lost her precious baby in a terrible accident that she will probably rewind her mind for a long, long time. Even though we all say we wouldn't do anything like that, other things can happen and then it becomes a reality.

I don't think this qualifies as an accident. This was neglect. If she had left him in a bathtub, it would be more easily qualified as neglect. But the fact is the same -- she left her child unsupervised near more than 3 inches of water. Doesn't matter if that is a pool, tub, bucket, toilet, or washing machine.

Yes, she has to live with this for the rest of her life, but that isn't justice for the baby who drown. He died a horrific, preventable death.

[Country Kids]

Remember toilets also hold water ALL the time and hold a good three inches of water! I'm sure some of you have locks on them but its not a requirement for us. I'm sure 90% of parents don't have locks on them. At one point in their lives children play in the toilet water. I'm sure its a potential drowning risk right there. So if a child would drown would that be considered neglect-I never left my bathroom doors shut when my kids where little and no very few people that do.

[jojosmommy]

My sil regularly leaves her kids unsupervised enough for this and/or other terrible things to happen to her 3yr old and 22 month old. Half the time she doesn't even know where they are at inside or outside. My hubs and I have refused to go there anymore because the lack of safety and concern for their child concerns us. I don't want to be present when something bad finally happens.

I agree I think this mom should be held accountable. I bet she put the kid on the drier while she was loading the washer then forgot him there or left him there to complete another task. In the time she was not present he got in the washer. Tragic but preventable.

[MrsB]

I have a little different take on this. Speaking from experience.

9 years ago I had 3 children they were ages 4 (DD), 2 (DS), and 8 mos (DD). I worked days and my ex worked nights. So he watched them at my house during the day while I was at work.

One summer day in July my ex was playing with the kids in the backyard with the hose and water balloons. It was time for lunch so they came into eat. After lunch he got the boys out of their highchairs and took the 2 year old upstairs to change him and go down for a nap. When he came downstairs (about 5 minutes) the 8 month old was no where to be found. He ended up finding him in the backyard upside down in a bucket of water. He rescusitated him and called 911. After 5 days in the hospital my DD died.

After investigation it was found that when they came in from playing outside my 4 yr DD had shut the sliding screen and the verticle blinds but not the glass door. My 8 mos old son had crawled through a hole in the screen.

Yes it was an aweful tragedy and the worst thing I have ever gone through. But I never in a million years had dreamed that my ex should be punished criminally for this. We went through many therapy sessions. Especially for my daughter because she had kept saying that she killed her brother, her knowing she didnt shut the sliding door only the screen. We explained to her that it was our responsibility to watch him and keep him safe, not hers.

My belief is that punishment by the court system is for rehabilitation or to show the person that they have consequences for their actions. My ex got real life consequences. There would have been no benefit to him or anyone else for him to be punished criminally. He has to live with this every day of his life. After seeing him go through this, I know he would have rather wanted to be thrown in solitary confinement and never be seen or heard from again.

I am one of the most conciencess people I know as far as childrens safety and I cant say that this would never have happened on my watch.

As far as providers liability, I do think that we are held to a higher standard than parents. I wouldn't want it any other way. I usually have many more safety measures in place than parents because I know all the risks involved and know what kind of mayhem children can get into. Parents niavety, for lack of a better word, is not negligence. I also think in some cases accidents that happened to providers, the providers shouldn't be prosecuted anymore than the parents should.

My feeling is that sometimes we need to take all factors into consideration and that yes accidents can happen and okay maybe you didnt have EVERY safety measure in place but in the case that Nannyde linked I dont see negligence or ill intent involved. We can't put our kids in a bubble. We are humans and we make mistakes. Sometimes natural consequences are far worse than any consequence a court system can impose on someone.

Just my take anyway for what its worth.

[familyschoolcare]

How sad and horrible.

I agree that parents should be held to some accountability for preventable “accidents” like these. More than just “community service” in the

form of helping to educate parents in the dangers of what ever they did. I biggest danger here was not the machine in and of itself; it was leaving the

child alone, for an unreasonable amount of time for his environment. I realize that it is a fine line between making sure parents are accountable and “re-

victimizing” them. However, the facts of the matter are that the mother left the child alone in a non-child proofed room while she was in another room reading a magazine.


My prayers go out to the family and friends of this child.

[JenNJ]

I still think it is criminal neglect. My biggest worry is that this *MAY* be an accident, but what if it wasn't? Parents have killed children before. It looks like an accident and mom isn't charged. Perfect crime right there... Charging her prevents any other murderous parents/stepparents/caregivers from copycatting this scenario. How many times have we seen kids with third degree burns from parents holding them in scalding water. The parents always claim it was an accident.

If she is charged an found innocent, then I accept that. But I refuse to accept that a child is dead and no one is considered responsible for that death except the child. He did not choose to die. He is supposed to have an adult caring for him so that he can explore the world safely without dying or being seriously injured. SOMEONE is responsible for his death and I know that it is that mother. Accident or not, she is responsible for his death.

[Blackcat31]

Mrs B, (((hugs))) to you and I am sorry for your loss.

However, your DH was changing another child and what happened at your house was a tragic accident.

The mother of this child was sitting on the couch in the other room, reading a magazine. BIG difference in action by the adults in charge.

[MarinaVanessa]

I did not read the article sorry ... I just have to admit that when I do read these types of stories I'm disturbed and it effects me all day which is why I don't read them. Unfortunately it's all to clear that the ending was not a happy one which is surprising because the reason that newer washing machines all have that safety feature that doesn't allow them to oscillate or spin without first closing a lid is because of a mother that lost her own toddler daughter in a washing machine accident. At least when she lost her daughter she did something about it but she always lobbied that supervision was key. What a tragedy that another child is lost.

Like others have said, it was either an older model or the safety mechanism was broken but in either case if the child was being supervised the child would still be alive. I'm not trying to be cold toward the family and my heart goes out to them, they lost a child afterall and that's the most horrible feeling ever (I thought I literally lost my child once and I didn't know how to function, I went into shock). I just wish people would stop having the "It'll never happen to me" mentality because it does happen, so why not to you?

[JenNJ]

I have a little different take on this. Speaking from experience.

9 years ago I had 3 children they were ages 4 (DD), 2 (DS), and 8 mos (DD). I worked days and my ex worked nights. So he watched them at my house during the day while I was at work.

One summer day in July my ex was playing with the kids in the backyard with the hose and water balloons. It was time for lunch so they came into eat. After lunch he got the boys out of their highchairs and took the 2 year old upstairs to change him and go down for a nap. When he came downstairs (about 5 minutes) the 8 month old was no where to be found. He ended up finding him in the backyard upside down in a bucket of water. He rescusitated him and called 911. After 5 days in the hospital my DD died.

After investigation it was found that when they came in from playing outside my 4 yr DD had shut the sliding screen and the verticle blinds but not the glass door. My 8 mos old son had crawled through a hole in the screen.

Yes it was an aweful tragedy and the worst thing I have ever gone through. But I never in a million years had dreamed that my ex should be punished criminally for this. We went through many therapy sessions. Especially for my daughter because she had kept saying that she killed her brother, her knowing she didnt shut the sliding door only the screen. We explained to her that it was our responsibility to watch him and keep him safe, not hers.

My belief is that punishment by the court system is for rehabilitation or to show the person that they have consequences for their actions. My ex got real life consequences. There would have been no benefit to him or anyone else for him to be punished criminally. He has to live with this every day of his life. After seeing him go through this, I know he would have rather wanted to be thrown in solitary confinement and never be seen or heard from again.

I am one of the most conciencess people I know as far as childrens safety and I cant say that this would never have happened on my watch.

As far as providers liability, I do think that we are held to a higher standard than parents. I wouldn't want it any other way. I usually have many more safety measures in place than parents because I know all the risks involved and know what kind of mayhem children can get into. Parents niavety, for lack of a better word, is not negligence. I also think in some cases accidents that happened to providers, the providers shouldn't be prosecuted anymore than the parents should.

My feeling is that sometimes we need to take all factors into consideration and that yes accidents can happen and okay maybe you didnt have EVERY safety measure in place but in the case that Nannyde linked I dont see negligence or ill intent involved. We can't put our kids in a bubble. We are humans and we make mistakes. Sometimes natural consequences are far worse than any consequence a court system can impose on someone.

Just my take anyway for what its worth.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I don't see any similarities in your son's death and this child's. Your ex was caring for another child. The bucket was outside. The door was shut. I see what happened to your son as a horrible, horrible accident.

[Heidi]

My washer is 25 years old and can run with the lid up except for the spin cycle.

Mine is 6 years old and does the same thing...

[Heidi]

I still think it is criminal neglect. My biggest worry is that this *MAY* be an accident, but what if it wasn't? Parents have killed children before. It looks like an accident and mom isn't charged. Perfect crime right there... Charging her prevents any other murderous parents/stepparents/caregivers from copycatting this scenario. How many times have we seen kids with third degree burns from parents holding them in scalding water. The parents always claim it was an accident.

If she is charged an found innocent, then I accept that. But I refuse to accept that a child is dead and no one is considered responsible for that death except the child. He did not choose to die. He is supposed to have an adult caring for him so that he can explore the world safely without dying or being seriously injured. SOMEONE is responsible for his death and I know that it is that mother. Accident or not, she is responsible for his death.

ummm...no one is charged and found innocent. They are charged and found not guilty, which means it could not be proven that the person is guilty. AKA OJ Simpson. We're all pretty sure he's guilty, he's hinted at the fact, but it wasn't proven. There is a BIG distinction.

[JenNJ]

ummm...no one is charged and found innocent. They are charged and found not guilty, which means it could not be proven that the person is guilty. AKA OJ Simpson. We're all pretty sure he's guilty, he's hinted at the fact, but it wasn't proven. There is a BIG distinction.

Yes, you are correct

[Heidi]

I have a little different take on this. Speaking from experience.

9 years ago I had 3 children they were ages 4 (DD), 2 (DS), and 8 mos (DD). I worked days and my ex worked nights. So he watched them at my house during the day while I was at work.

One summer day in July my ex was playing with the kids in the backyard with the hose and water balloons. It was time for lunch so they came into eat. After lunch he got the boys out of their highchairs and took the 2 year old upstairs to change him and go down for a nap. When he came downstairs (about 5 minutes) the 8 month old was no where to be found. He ended up finding him in the backyard upside down in a bucket of water. He rescusitated him and called 911. After 5 days in the hospital my DD died.

After investigation it was found that when they came in from playing outside my 4 yr DD had shut the sliding screen and the verticle blinds but not the glass door. My 8 mos old son had crawled through a hole in the screen.

Yes it was an aweful tragedy and the worst thing I have ever gone through. But I never in a million years had dreamed that my ex should be punished criminally for this. We went through many therapy sessions. Especially for my daughter because she had kept saying that she killed her brother, her knowing she didnt shut the sliding door only the screen. We explained to her that it was our responsibility to watch him and keep him safe, not hers.

My belief is that punishment by the court system is for rehabilitation or to show the person that they have consequences for their actions. My ex got real life consequences. There would have been no benefit to him or anyone else for him to be punished criminally. He has to live with this every day of his life. After seeing him go through this, I know he would have rather wanted to be thrown in solitary confinement and never be seen or heard from again.

I am one of the most conciencess people I know as far as childrens safety and I cant say that this would never have happened on my watch.

As far as providers liability, I do think that we are held to a higher standard than parents. I wouldn't want it any other way. I usually have many more safety measures in place than parents because I know all the risks involved and know what kind of mayhem children can get into. Parents niavety, for lack of a better word, is not negligence. I also think in some cases accidents that happened to providers, the providers shouldn't be prosecuted anymore than the parents should.

My feeling is that sometimes we need to take all factors into consideration and that yes accidents can happen and okay maybe you didnt have EVERY safety measure in place but in the case that Nannyde linked I dont see negligence or ill intent involved. We can't put our kids in a bubble. We are humans and we make mistakes. Sometimes natural consequences are far worse than any consequence a court system can impose on someone.

Just my take anyway for what its worth.

Mrs B, I am so sorry. Our family has had a similar loss. My sister lost her precious 8mo daughter to a similar tradgedy. While camping at their rustic cabin, my niece somehow managed to get access to a plastic bag (up until then, she wasn't crawling), and suffocated. The situation was investigated, and the authoritities decided not to press any charges. There were several slightly older children, and it's possible one of them left the bag out. I suspect the investigators didn't want to put that scar on them.

[Heidi]

Yes, you are correct

Jen-please don't think I'm being snarky. It's a bit of a hot spot, since our family has lived through this. Beleive me, they charge people (sometime unfairly) if they suspect anything. When a child dies of unnatural causes, they always investigate, and there is always a trail of clues to follow, usually signs of previous abuse.

My sister held her baby girl for HOURS after she died at the hospital. The nurses kept bringing warming blankets to keep her warm as long as possible. Anyone who witnessed the way the family acted KNEW there was no reason to press charges.