When Grandmas Watch The DCK's! Everything Is Out Of Order Vent!

[SunshineMama]

Do any of you know of any special tricks to make things smooth when mom and dad just run off on vacation and dump baby at daycare and grandma's for a week?

DCM and DCD decided to go on a vacation since last week, leaving Grandma to care for dcb...

What....a....nightmare.

The schedule is totally off and dcb (16 mos) is totally spoiled and miserable while here. He wants held all the time and is the only one out of the whole group always yelling, crying, screaming, etc, when he doesnt get exactly what he wants the second he wants it. He WAS my "easy" baby before this. Yesterday he woke up EVERYONE from nap.

I keep wondering when dcp's are coming back, since their communication regarding this whole endeavour has been terrible, at best. He wasnt here on time this morning so I am assuming grandma has him again. They have been gone for a week!

UGH Please cross your fingers for me that I get a good family from my ads- this dcb is in line for termination for other reasons and I just cant wait any longer! In the meantime I guess I have to figure out how to deal with this.

Does anyone have any policies regarding when dcp's leave their dck's with someone else?

[SunshineMama]

Not to mention I woke up 2 hours early again today!

[MizzCheryl]

Good luck. No plicies here but I feel for ya sista.
Will keep you in my prayers!
just keep in your mind that hopefully this will get better when parents return.

[SunshineMama]

Good luck. No plicies here but I feel for ya sista.
Will keep you in my prayers!
just keep in your mind that hopefully this will get better when parents return.

Thanks! I wish I knew when the parents were going to return. I cant believe they would just go out of town and not even communicate anything to me at all. Not even an emergency contact #!

[nannyde]

Nobody on the planet wants you to be happier than your Granny. Granny to childcare is the WORST possible transfer. I always ask if Grandma has cared for the kid before I take them on so I know how really difficult it can get.

It used to be really common to have kids come into childcare at around eight months after being with Grandma for the first six months after maternity leave. As soon as the child became mobile, Granny would surrender. I don't think that's as common anymore.

[Country Kids]

No help here but sympathy. I have one that when they go to grandmas, I just cringe. They come back just horrible-hitting me, not listening, goes into these weird laughing fits when in trouble and goes limp when you try to put into time out, etc.

When the parents say they are having little one go to grandmas for whatever I just think why, you know how they act when they get back from there.

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I couldn't care less who is watching the kids while they are not here. It could be mom or dad, grandma, auntie, a family friend, a neighbor....it makes zero difference to me. When the kids are here, I have a certain set of expectations from them as far as behavior goes. If they aren't able to get through the day as they normally would then it falls under my policy of "unable to participate in normal activities" and they would be sent home.

I understand that he is a young toddler, however, I have the same routine and schedule here everyday and rarely does it take a child long to mesh right into our daily routine regardless of where or with whom they were with the day or night before.

If grandma is watching him while parents are away, then I expect that she drop him of and pick him up at the regular times. If she chooses to keep him up all night and he is tired and cranky for me, then grandma gets a call and he goes home. Simple as that.

If grandma asks why, I will gladly tell her how important routine and consistency is. I fully understand that grandma time should be the best most fun time ever.....but when grandma is in charge of the child's care, the role and expectations from her are a bit different IMHO.

[Country Kids]

I have called the parents several times after my little one has been at grandmas. It works like a charm also! They come to my house, the child knows they mean business and is good after that.

I find it sad though that a trip to grandmas, turns into them getting in trouble because they can't behave here afterwards.

[CrayolaKids]

That's how my week is..every week I have a 7mo dcg and her 2yo sister that come to me for 3 days (monday, thur. friday) and maternal grandmother watches both on tuesdays and maternal greatgrandma/maternal stepgrandma watches them on wednesdays. Every week is pure torture, and no matter how much we stick to the schedule the 7mo never transitions to it and screams at EVERY nap time..sometimes waking the other kids. The 2yo does well but she has been with me for over a year.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread Hang in there, though. I can't say that it gets better, because for me it hasn't yet. I'm just waiting for the right family to come along that I can term this current family.

[MizzCheryl]

The keeping him 1 day a week is the killer. He can't get the expectations down.

[SunshineMama]

That's how my week is..every week I have a 7mo dcg and her 2yo sister that come to me for 3 days (monday, thur. friday) and maternal grandmother watches both on tuesdays and maternal greatgrandma/maternal stepgrandma watches them on wednesdays. Every week is pure torture, and no matter how much we stick to the schedule the 7mo never transitions to it and screams at EVERY nap time..sometimes waking the other kids. The 2yo does well but she has been with me for over a year.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread Hang in there, though. I can't say that it gets better, because for me it hasn't yet. I'm just waiting for the right family to come along that I can term this current family.

I hear ya! DCB is screaming right now in the middle of the play room- for no reason at all. He's so outta here as soon as I can find a replacement. Oh.. and he's sick... again. Another snotty nose, for the 32/33 weeks he has been here. I am so over the snotty nose, hand foot and mouth, rotovirus, flu, and all the other crap he has brought to my house since last November.. Before him I had 1 kid sick in a whole year, now everyone is sick. So he is sick and spoiled by grandma. I am not happy today.

[sharlan]

I'm having a hard time not being offended by this post. I'm a grandma who's provided 99% of the daycare for all 4 of my grandkids. The other grandparents have pitched in here and there, but it's mostly been me.

The issue is lack of continuity, not the grandparents. IMHO, kids need structure. It doesn't have to be strict, but it's easier if they know breakfast is at arrival, a walk comes next, then a nap, followed by lunch, etc.

Have you tried talking to the grandma and saying we do this, then this? Ask her to try to follow your schedule. Explain how much easier it is on the child. I'm sure she's not having it any easier than you. She might even appreciate some tips.

Also, the child knows that Mom and Dad are gone, but where are they, when are they coming back, are they coming back. His world has been tossed upside down and he doesn't understand.

[Country Kids]

I understand your post completely but most grandmas aren't childcare and have the kids there for "fun time". I know when my daycare child goes to grandmas, she is specifically going there to have some attention time from grandma or one on one time. That is why I just shutter because then when the child comes back she thinks she doesn't have to follow the rules.

[Mary Poppins]

Oddly enough, my most well behaved little one spends the most time with grandparents. She has two grandmas and a great-grandma that take her all the time!

Maybe it is more the separation anxiety from mom and dad than anything. Poor kid.