What Do You Think??

[kayla]

Ok everyone I am 9 mos pregnant, so for the last month and a half i have been holding the kids less lately... I only pick up or hold when I have to. I'm just getting to big for all of that... so that being said.... The last week was extremely bad i had a dcb who is 13 mos, Ive had him since he was 4 mos. Well the last week I cant even go to the bathroom without him screaming and crying. I cant cook without him screaming or crying. This has only happened in the last week. So I brought it to the mothers attention, she goes on to say oh he usually follows me to the bathroom. (umm I'm sorry but I do not take dck to bathroom with me so not gonna happen.) I said well I just wanted to bring it to your attention, she said well I think its the other kids, I'm thinking ok its not the other kids, if you go to any daycare there will be other kids it's not just about yours, does she not realize im pregnant and it will be about my newborn and not her child in the beginning... Then she goes on to tell me that her bf basically lives with her... (Umm mind you she is a young mom 19 she has been dating this guy for a week) she is already bringing him around her child?!?!? That does not make sense to me, well then a light bulb goes off, thats why he is freaking out for all my attention... But I just cant hold him anymore... What should I do or say??? What do you all think??? The mom not going to be here all week but her parents will be bringing dcb and picking up. Do you think I should mention whats going on to them??? I need help I'm sick of this girls attitude by the way.... And like I said I have not been holding any of the kids for atleast the last month... I mean I'm on the floor I give them all lots of attention It's just getting to hard to bend over and pick up... Need opinions on what I should do....

P.S. I'm getting rid of the parent as soon as I have an interview for another toddler because she is so disrespectful... Thinks the world revolves around her... Litters in my yard, doesnt take her shoes off I remind her atleast once a week, takes food from my home... doesn't supply her child with what is needed as stated in contract...( I put an empty pack of wipes in her bag... do you think she got the hint... oh no, and she doesnt bring him with proper clothing to go outside..)

[godiva83]

Really, I doubt she will listen if you say anything anyway so you may be wasting your breath with her.

However, I would say something along the lines of,
Your son is craving attention and I am doing my best to support his needs; however, it doesn't seem to be enough! Perhaps he is going thru a new transition at home? ( play dumb - blame it on baby brain) are you working more hours, new routines ect I would appreciate and your son will benefit from your cooperation on this matter, poor wee guy just seems so upset.

I think you can play that card to the Grands too if wanted.

For the DCB I think limits need to be in place, he needs to understand you are there for him but can't always hold him. When he cries don't pay attention only reward positive behaviour, lots of hugs, cuddle up with a book ect

[kayla]

yeah I have not been playing into his act. When he starts to throw his tantrum I walk up to him kneel in front of him and tell him I cannot hold him... I know he probably doesnt understand but thats what I do, I have even gone as far as removing him from the other children and putting him in a pack n play til he calms down when its disturbing to everyone else... Because when I say scream I mean he is screaming bloody murder...

[JenNJ]

I wouldn't bother. At his age it's not like she can talk to him about it.

I would just keep on doing as I was doing. If he isn't hurt or sad about something, don't pick him up. Even then, maybe encourage him to sit next to you and cuddle vs. holding him. I wouldn't feed into his anger about you cooking or using the bathroom by holding him. It is better he learn now that he is moving a little further down the attention chain.