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I have a 4 1/2 year old DCB who sometimes cries at drop-off. He has been coming to me on & off for @ 2 years & he really does love it. But about 1/3rd of the time when dcd drops off the child will be openly sobbing about wanting to be with daddy, etc. Usually it stops within 5-10 min of drop-of but it is quite annoying as it's EARLY (as in 6:20 am or so) & my school-age kids & my own pre-schooler are still asleep. What can I do? Today his crying, no matter what I did to attempt to comfort him did not work & both of my older boys woke up a good hour before they would have otherwise.
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Try to have a quiet activity all ready for him when he arrives. (Play doh, water colors, puzzles, legos) Make sure the parent doesn't linger and prolong the crying (a lot of children do it for the Parent's sake - sometimes it's almost encouraged by the parents) do your best to re-direct.
It's usually a phase and a habit that needs to be broken.
If all else fails, change their drop off time so that it suits you. This is YOUR business after all. -
I have a 4 year old who does that too. He loves it here, but he just misses his mom he says.
To get him to stop crying... (don't judge me) I bribed him. I let him watch 1 Netflix show of his choice (deveopmentally appropriate), and that stopped him from crying.
I can always tell when he doesnt get enough sleep bc those are the days we have issues.Comment
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I have a couple like that. They fall apart when it's time to say goodbye to mommy or daddy and 30 seconds after they leave, they are running and playing.
I think the best thing to do is to reassure the child that mommy and daddy will be back shortly and then get them (quickly) involved in something fun (coloring, playdough, puzzles, etc).Comment
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Does he cry when his mom drops him off or only when dad does?
I had one the same age that cried ONLY when dad dropped off. We figured out later that he had a really strong relationship with his mother and he knew and trusted that she was always going to come back to get him so he was fine when she left him.
His relationship with dad however, was very sporatic and not at all routine so when dad dropped him off the little guy went into panick mode because he had no idea if or when his dad was going to return. He felt VERY uneasy saying good bye because he hadn't built that level of trust and understanding with his dad.
His mom and I talked about it and she and the dad started to work together so that the dad had a better relationship with the little guy and that really seemed to help.
It is kind of like when you follow a schedule or routine during your day and all the kids are good but when you deviate from the schedule, chaos breaks out because basically the kids have no clue as to what is happening or going to happen next..... kids need to have the safety and security of consistnecy and routine.
Does that make sense?
It might just be that the little boy needs to build a consistent relationship or even just the consistency of being dropped off by dad so that he feels more comfortable about the whole thing. Transistion is hard anyways so that only adds to it.
If I were you, I would try to talk with the child when he is calm and can have a conversation with you about how he feels and why he thinks he feels like crying. At 4.5, he is old enough to learn to identify and address his feelings when prompted.Comment
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DCD is the only one who normally drops off b/c mom has already went to work. When mom used to drop off he never cried but it was later in the day (this was before she worked when she was going to nursing school). But when thinking about it I really think it's b/c he is still half-asleep. I believe the kids are just gotten up/dressed. They don't eat breakfast before arrival which I understand b/c it isn't even 6:30. It's just frustrating b/c it wakes up my kids.
Thanks for your advice - I think I will have a chat with the little guy & try to figure out why he does it & like I said it is not everyday. They only come 3x a week so typically it only happens once a week. Thanks for the tips!
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He is probably tired/not quite awake yet from being up too early. Has he had his breakfast yet? How long has he been up? If he is dropped off at 6 20 he has probably been up since 5 30 or earlier. Maybe back to bed as soon as he comes in?Comment
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I really think he needs more sleep on those mornings, but after getting awakened and dressed, he might not agree.
Anyone that arrived here that early would lay back down, but maybe with a favorite and appropriate show on at that age. I would have the room he goes in fairly dark, a mat and a comfy pillow and blanket, and let him watch tv for a half hour or so until it's time for the family to get up.
To the PP, I am definately not judging you! Lol. TV isn't something I think little kids should have gobs of, but it's not the big bad horrible beast either. We rarely ever watch it during the day, but occasionally, it's appropriate.Comment
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