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I have a dcg who is two. She comes twice a week to be around other children and has never been in daycare or around other children before. She started with me in December last year a few weeks after I started doing daycare and only had one other part time girl, as well as my daughters, a baby and a four year old. The first month, she screamed and cried a majority of the time, and I had to hold her constantly in order for her to calm down. I understood it was hard being cared for by someone else when she had only ever been watched by her parents or grandma, but I'm not about to hold one child the ENTIRE time. It took awhile, but now she does great at drop off, doesn't expect to be held all the time, and has learned to play with toys.
The parents told me during our interview she wasn't very social, and didn't talk MUCH. They also said the doctor said not to worry. Not a big deal; I figured being around other children would help. Another warning sign I should have been concerned about was when explaining that I use time outs or redirection, or remove the child to a quieter spot with me if needed, for discipline, the mom said, "well, she doesn't really UNDERSTAND things like that." In other words, she gets no discipline at home.
So, I find the dcg doesn't say anything, except occasional random words. She doesn't follow/understand any simple directions (sit down, please walk, put toys away). I can say her name repeatedly, and she ignores me. I'm fairly sure her hearing is ok though, because she responds to music by dancing and will come running when she hears her dad's voice at pick up. She climbs everything, stands on chairs, and throws toys. Most of her worst behavior happens when I'm doing something like sitting on the sofa to give my baby a bottle-she's 6 months, and I'm starting an 8 month old next week too- or doing diaper changes, hand washing, ect with another child. She won't respond to any verbal correction, like sit down, come here, pick that up please. I have to physically remove her, help her pick up, or bring her to me. I often have to put the baby down in the middle of feeding to go get her.
I don't know if she has some developmental delays that need addressed, or if she is so spoiled from mom, dad, and grandma that she hasn't had a chance to develop and learn as she should. Other behaviors that bother me: at lunch she will stand on her chair and take food from other's plates; she grabs other children's sippy cups and drinks; she will finish eating and run and dive on my couch unless I am right there to catch her and clean her hands and face; she walks right into kids using the swings outside (she was looking at them the entire time, deliberately walked close enough one boy had to jump off the swing so he didn't run into her. Naturally, I was helping another kid get out the chalk, was watching but not right there to pull her away). The list is endless, really. I feel I have given it enough time to know she can't behave and follow directions like the other two-year-olds. For her safety and for the other kid's safety, she needs to be restricted (high chair at lunch, pnp when I can't be right beside her, or a fenced play yard). Or else I need to give her family notice that I can't watch her anymore. I'm worried about people thinking it's unfair that a two year old gets confined whenever I change a diaper, feed a baby, make lunch, go to the rest room, ect. I have more dcks now, and another baby starting, and I just can't follow her all day long. And, of course, her family dismisses my reports of her behavior because, "she just doesn't know better" so they probably would be upset if she's the only one I have to do this to.
I would love to know what others would do in this situation...stick it out and keep working with her, or go ahead and replace her. I hate to "give up" because I feel she needs someone who believes and expects that she can behave appropriately, but the stress and worry is getting worse! Thanks, everyone.
The parents told me during our interview she wasn't very social, and didn't talk MUCH. They also said the doctor said not to worry. Not a big deal; I figured being around other children would help. Another warning sign I should have been concerned about was when explaining that I use time outs or redirection, or remove the child to a quieter spot with me if needed, for discipline, the mom said, "well, she doesn't really UNDERSTAND things like that." In other words, she gets no discipline at home.
So, I find the dcg doesn't say anything, except occasional random words. She doesn't follow/understand any simple directions (sit down, please walk, put toys away). I can say her name repeatedly, and she ignores me. I'm fairly sure her hearing is ok though, because she responds to music by dancing and will come running when she hears her dad's voice at pick up. She climbs everything, stands on chairs, and throws toys. Most of her worst behavior happens when I'm doing something like sitting on the sofa to give my baby a bottle-she's 6 months, and I'm starting an 8 month old next week too- or doing diaper changes, hand washing, ect with another child. She won't respond to any verbal correction, like sit down, come here, pick that up please. I have to physically remove her, help her pick up, or bring her to me. I often have to put the baby down in the middle of feeding to go get her.
I don't know if she has some developmental delays that need addressed, or if she is so spoiled from mom, dad, and grandma that she hasn't had a chance to develop and learn as she should. Other behaviors that bother me: at lunch she will stand on her chair and take food from other's plates; she grabs other children's sippy cups and drinks; she will finish eating and run and dive on my couch unless I am right there to catch her and clean her hands and face; she walks right into kids using the swings outside (she was looking at them the entire time, deliberately walked close enough one boy had to jump off the swing so he didn't run into her. Naturally, I was helping another kid get out the chalk, was watching but not right there to pull her away). The list is endless, really. I feel I have given it enough time to know she can't behave and follow directions like the other two-year-olds. For her safety and for the other kid's safety, she needs to be restricted (high chair at lunch, pnp when I can't be right beside her, or a fenced play yard). Or else I need to give her family notice that I can't watch her anymore. I'm worried about people thinking it's unfair that a two year old gets confined whenever I change a diaper, feed a baby, make lunch, go to the rest room, ect. I have more dcks now, and another baby starting, and I just can't follow her all day long. And, of course, her family dismisses my reports of her behavior because, "she just doesn't know better" so they probably would be upset if she's the only one I have to do this to.
I would love to know what others would do in this situation...stick it out and keep working with her, or go ahead and replace her. I hate to "give up" because I feel she needs someone who believes and expects that she can behave appropriately, but the stress and worry is getting worse! Thanks, everyone.
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