Potty Troubles With My Own Daughter...

[JennyBear]

She turned 2 at the end of December. She pretty much started using the potty on her own (we think she just picked it up from talking about it a lot, having her around when we go, and seeing the other DCK go themselves). So she was doing really really well for months...almost to the point where she would be in undies instead of pull ups. The past few weeks she is slipping and we don't know why or how to get her back on track (no major changes here). My mom is recently retired so she will go there for a visit (anywhere from 2 nights to a week) and seems to be doing well for her, but when she comes home she says she doesn't need pull ups and only wants big girl panties but she's been saying, "i don't need to go to the potty right now" and will often put up a fight so we don't push it and just remind her that when she does need to go then she needs to tell us. We don't get it b/c one day she will practically bring herself to the bathroom and not have any accidents and then another day she will refuse to use the potty and go in her pull ups (or big girl undies if she's wearing them). She absolutely get's it, but has become "lazy" with it and has decided to pick and choose when she goes for us. I should also mention that I have used the whole sticker incentive thing, and have even had all the dck's go potty all at once to try to get her to go but she just refuses, even when the others are going. like i said, one day she will go with no problem but it seems like more and more we are having days with "i don't need the potty right now" fights and accidents.
Any suggestions?

[Michelle]

sometimes they develop a fear of the sound of the toilet flushing (especially after a public toilet visit, they are very loud) .... or if there is a stain in the toilet or anything different like "blue water cleaner"

Tell her that she doesn't have to flush the toilet...that you will do it.
See if that helps

[Ariana]

I would just let it go. She still quite young so there may be set backs. Drawing more attention to it or getting upset and frustrated will definately make the problem worse. Just treat it as a small set back and move forward doing what you always do. she will eventually get back into the swing of things. You never know what might be going on in her little mind to cause the setback so just be patient and supportive

[MrsB]

Sounds a bit more like she is trying to be in control. I think some kids really battle with potty training because it is something that they can really control. If she is going sometimes and saying I dont have to go other times, then it is not a fear thing.

My rule here with my own kids and DCKs until they consistently tell me the have to go and have no accidents for 1 week. I set the potty timer for every hour they have to go no matter what, if they actually urinate, then the timer gets set for an hour, if they dont it gets reset for 30 minutes. I dont give them the option or ask them if they have to go. Everyone has to try. If they fit out it is usually because they are fixated on a toy or a tv show or something and they dont want to stop what they are doing. In that case, I take whatever they are fixating on out of the equation. If they fit about it they go back to a diaper and then they go sit on the thinking chair until they are ready to go try. (I dont do pullups unless we are on a long car ride or on an all day field trip and they are still in the first month or two of PT) I try to seperate the defiance and the fixation of the toy/playing from the potty experience. It sounds harsh but its not really. Although it is much easier for me than mom and dad sometimes.

I always make sure that whatever toy they are playing with will be there for them when they return. (I make sure another kid doesnt grab it) But if they throw a fit about it, the toy gets put a way and they dont get to play with that toy. Mine learn pretty quickly that if you have accidents, its no big deal you have to go by the reminder clock. If you dont have accidents then you are responsible enough to wear undies and go when you need to.

[JennyBear]

Sounds a bit more like she is trying to be in control. I think some kids really battle with potty training because it is something that they can really control. If she is going sometimes and saying I dont have to go other times, then it is not a fear thing.

My rule here with my own kids and DCKs until they consistently tell me the have to go and have no accidents for 1 week. I set the potty timer for every hour they have to go no matter what, if they actually urinate, then the timer gets set for an hour, if they dont it gets reset for 30 minutes. I dont give them the option or ask them if they have to go. Everyone has to try. If they fit out it is usually because they are fixated on a toy or a tv show or something and they dont want to stop what they are doing. In that case, I take whatever they are fixating on out of the equation. If they fit about it they go back to a diaper and then they go sit on the thinking chair until they are ready to go try. (I dont do pullups unless we are on a long car ride or on an all day field trip and they are still in the first month or two of PT) I try to seperate the defiance and the fixation of the toy/playing from the potty experience. It sounds harsh but its not really. Although it is much easier for me than mom and dad sometimes.

I always make sure that whatever toy they are playing with will be there for them when they return. (I make sure another kid doesnt grab it) But if they throw a fit about it, the toy gets put a way and they dont get to play with that toy. Mine learn pretty quickly that if you have accidents, its no big deal you have to go by the reminder clock. If you dont have accidents then you are responsible enough to wear undies and go when you need to.

We do actually think it's a control thing and a fixation on either a toy or getting ready to go outside. When she is in a more understanding and flexible mood she's great and has no problems either telling us she has to go, or go on her own...when she's into a toy or not wanting to leave her daycare friends. It totally depends on her mood and what she is doing at the time. I'm afraid though that if we take the toy, etc out of the picture for the time being and make her go on the potty no matter what then she will regress even more. we have tried to be pretty forceful (tell her she can't do/go wherever until she tries, bring her to bathroom anyways, etc) she often has a major temper tantrum if it's not on her terms...we don't want her to loose interest.