Normal or Sexual?

[dEHmom]

I have been wanting to ask this for quite some time now, but haven't had a chance, and my computer is broken! Dcks were constantly at it, and it crashed now.


So I have a 1.5 yr old. For the last few months I've noticed her type of play with the dolls and such increasing. I know kids love to strip dolls out of clothes and I try to teach them baby will get cold leave them on, etc.

She will touch and push on the nipples on the dolls.

I've also noticed that when I'm doing bum changes, she will position herself somewhere either close by or higher up, so she can see the child getting changed. One time, i turned to grab a wipe and she came up and, for lack of better words, honked on a little boys private spot.

I know curiousity is normal, and exploration is normal, but to what point for this age?

She now will hide (turn away from me so i can't see her, even though I can), and strip dolls down, then lift them up and touch the privates etc. At first I was thinking she was pretending to put on bum cream on the babies, etc. Just now she was licking the dolls mouth! ew. But she is just VERY curious about privates, and at her age, I don't think it's the "norm" amount. But I've never dealt with this before, so it's hard to know. Should I let her be and she will grow out of it? Should I be stopping it? Should I be discussing with parents?

She will even go up to the other babies when they are on the floor, and put her finger in the back of the diaper, if maybe the pants are hanging lower or something. Or of course, if I'm bent over and the plumber butt is out, she is always there magically to let me know.

[Breezy]

Oh thats a tough one. Im not sure if that is normal or not.. I hope someone else can come and have a better response. Youre right to be worried though.

[wdmmom]

At 1.5, I do NOT find this to be normal behavior.

[dEHmom]

that's what i'm sort of thinking. I don't want to speculate though and think it's sexual.

A little background....

mom just stopped nursing a few months ago, still pumping breastmilk. But i can see how she is with mom, and i bet mom just "says" she stopped nursing. i don't care either way, but this little girl is the cry baby when mom comes, cause she gets her way. yesterday she freaked out and was ripping at moms shirt because she wanted boobs.

child has only been semi sleeping in her own bed in her own room for last few nights.

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Honestly, I think its totally normal. I've watched a lot of kids through the years, and many of them had shown the exact behaviour you are describing.

My kids love to strip the clothes off the dolls, and of course they are going to push on the nipples. To a child they dont know they are sexual, they see them as a dot, and something that looks like it should be pushed. Same concept as if you had a big pillow with a hole in it, what will the child do, put their finger in the hole! Its a natural curiosity.

Almost all of my kids are "curious", and interested when I am changing a diaper, even the older potty trained ones. They constantly ask if the child pooped or peed, and they try to watch when I change them to see what is in the diaper. I just teach them that the child being changed needs privacy, just like when an older child goes to the bathroom and needs privacy.

In my program, we are required to have "anitomically correct" dolls. I have one dark skinned boy, and one light skinned girl. The kids are constantly fascinated with the boy parts that are between the legs of the boy doll. Luckily though, they think its "poop", and when we play dolls they say "ewww, baby pooped, and then use the pretend wipes to "wipe away" the poop". I have absolutely NO interest in telling them it isnt poop. :-)

I would just give it some time. If its really concerning, you could remove the dolls for awhile, or get the type of dolls that the clothes can not be removed.

[nannyde]

I've done child care for 31 years and I've never seen any of that behavior so if it's normal somehow it's never occured in my population.

This is my bottom line when it comes to stuff like this: If it tweeks your sensibilities then trust your gut.

I would get uber firm with this kid and make her "leave it". I wouldn't allow any fixation on any level and certainly not on this. I would be VERY careful to wear clothing that always covers YOU when you bend over. I'm a firm believer that it is inappropriate to show the dck's your butt... any part of your butt. I know clothing is lower cut now and the plumber butt, chest area, and mid-driff isn't as hidden as it used to be BUT when it comes to small children they should not be exposed to your body like that.

When you change others diapers send her before you change to the opposite side of the room and turn her away from you. Practice this when you aren't changing kids. Do not allow her to turn towards you. Each time she turns her head towards you say "leave it" and go to her and turn her back facing away. When you have finished changing then say "okay Susie.. go play toys".

Remove any dolls that she can fixate on their private parts.

Tell the Mom that she is doing this and do it in a calm... NOT FUNNY or interesting.. or special... just that she is doing it. You don't have to attach emotion to it.. just tell her physically exactly what she is doing.

[Oneluckymom]

Ok, I am thinking she is just curious. My dd nursed until 2. She did not want to stop. She developed a fixation with nipples and whenever she tired she will fondle her own nipple ...I know it's strange but that's how she soothed herself when I stopped nursing. She's almost 5 and still does it. Some children are more fixated or curious than others. Redirection may help in your situation. If she is simply pointing out body parts I would just say yes that is her or his private area, but would NOT allow her to touch another Childs private parts. She needs to learn that nobody is to touch anybody elses private parts.

[SilverSabre25]

I don't think it's normal, and I don't think that the nursing OR co-sleeping has anything to do with it. My DD nursed far past 1.5 and coslept at least part time far past that age and NEVER displayed ANYTHING like that behavior!

She's probably seeing some inappropriate stuff somewhere...if not worse.

To clarify, I think that *some* interest and exploration is normal at that age...both in one's own body as well as other people's bodies, but the exact behaviors and the extent to which she is displaying them sets off my alarms.

[Heidi]

my

Ok, I am thinking she is just curious. My dd nursed until 2. She did not want to stop. She developed a fixation with nipples and whenever she tired she will fondle her own nipple ...I know it's strange but that's how she soothed herself when I stopped nursing. She's almost 5 and still does it. Some children are more fixated or curious than others. Redirection may help in your situation. If she is simply pointing out body parts I would just say yes that is her or his private area, but would NOT allow her to touch another Childs private parts. She needs to learn that nobody is to touch anybody elses private parts.

I agree with One lucky mom....wierd, but normal. You know, if we all wore hats all the time, I am pretty sure most toddlers would get curious about what is under the hat!

She's a little fixated, so redirect her, but kindly. "susie, michelle needs her privacy when I change her. Go play with toys". It's not dirty, it's not sinful, she's just a curious toddler who happens to be curious about body parts! Next week it may be airplanes or monkeys or princesses.

[dEHmom]

Thanks ladies. it's about 50/50 here I guess.

I do the redirection, I generally change the babies not directly in front of each other, but I use my legs for the most part to hide the child being changed when i have no choice but to change on the floor.

She is a bit of a troublemaker. And she is very sneaky. Almost that devilish type. Example of her sneaky behaviour, is she will stand at a bin at cleanup, and put her hand inside, so that when I look, she pretends to drop a toy in. She doesn't realize no matter where I am in my house, there is no way I can't see her, unless I am physically out of the room (and even then, there is enough reflections to see most of the room. I hate the sneakiness, but know that children will test. She has just been babied too much. Mom doesn't understand why her kid cries all the time for her and not me. I refuse to get into the parenting conversation. I've hinted and given tips, but mom chooses to not use them, and that is her right. This is the same child that started the biting in my group as well.

Nanny, I do totally agree with what you said about clothing. For the most part I am completely hidden (I am not a cleavage person in front of clients or children. Usually have baggy sweatshirt on). But occassionally, maybe while reaching under couch or something, a little junk from the trunk comes out, hahahaha.

Wow, I hate not being able to post on here more. I feel so out. . There are so many times i just need to talk or ask something, but haven't been able to because of being busy, or computer broken. ****S!

[Michael]

Thanks ladies. it's about 50/50 here I guess.

I do the redirection, I generally change the babies not directly in front of each other, but I use my legs for the most part to hide the child being changed when i have no choice but to change on the floor.

She is a bit of a troublemaker. And she is very sneaky. Almost that devilish type. Example of her sneaky behaviour, is she will stand at a bin at cleanup, and put her hand inside, so that when I look, she pretends to drop a toy in. She doesn't realize no matter where I am in my house, there is no way I can't see her, unless I am physically out of the room (and even then, there is enough reflections to see most of the room. I hate the sneakiness, but know that children will test. She has just been babied too much. Mom doesn't understand why her kid cries all the time for her and not me. I refuse to get into the parenting conversation. I've hinted and given tips, but mom chooses to not use them, and that is her right. This is the same child that started the biting in my group as well.

Nanny, I do totally agree with what you said about clothing. For the most part I am completely hidden (I am not a cleavage person in front of clients or children. Usually have baggy sweatshirt on). But occassionally, maybe while reaching under couch or something, a little junk from the trunk comes out, hahahaha.

Wow, I hate not being able to post on here more. I feel so out. . There are so many times i just need to talk or ask something, but haven't been able to because of being busy, or computer broken. ****S!

Nice to see you back here again. You use to be a regular

[dEHmom]

Nice to see you back here again. You use to be a regular

that was when i had 1 to 2 kids, and they were good.
i literally cannot take my eyes off these 3 babies for a second.

it's nice to be back (except i've said that a few too many times lately)

[Michael]

that was when i had 1 to 2 kids, and they were good.
i literally cannot take my eyes off these 3 babies for a second.

it's nice to be back (except i've said that a few too many times lately)

As you once suggested, we finally created a Chat area.

[SunshineMama]

My dd is almost 17 months, and I just finished weaning her from breastfeeding a few weeks ago. She has occasionally tried to reach out if a little crack is showing, and has poked a Barbie doll once or twice, but it has only happened a few times. She does reach for my shirt and try lick my chest, however I always remind her that is a no no, and it's happening less and less frequently. She does not try to touch the other children during diaper changes but will walk over and point to the diaper and say "dirty." I was changing a 3 year olds diaper and his twin sister walked right over to him and gave him a little pinch in the diaper area and laughed and walked away. (I did not have the impression it was sexual). I think a few times = normal. Dd will also try to blow raspberries on my back and belly, which sometimes feels like a lick (icky).

Dh and I are not sexual in front of our kids nor are they exposed to anything inappropriate, so I consider my dd's behavior normal. So there is a possibility your dcg is just exploring. Just keep your eyes wide open.

[greenhouse]

I don't think it's normal, and I don't think that the nursing OR co-sleeping has anything to do with it. My DD nursed far past 1.5 and coslept at least part time far past that age and NEVER displayed ANYTHING like that behavior!

She's probably seeing some inappropriate stuff somewhere...if not worse.

To clarify, I think that *some* interest and exploration is normal at that age...both in one's own body as well as other people's bodies, but the exact behaviors and the extent to which she is displaying them sets off my alarms.

Ditto this. I still nurse my 2 year old and co-sleep- he has never shown an interest in body parts or taking clothes off. He could care less about dcb being naked and only looks if it's poopy so he can make a "that's smelly" gesture.

OP the biggest red flag is her "licking the dolls mouth"- body curiosity is one thing, but I have read that using the tounge for kissing is a sign of abuse. Plus your gut is taking to you and you have to listen. I hope it's nothing though. I hate hearing this stuff...