HELP! New fake cryer is driving me mad!

[Soccermom]

I need some help in deciding what to do about a new boy that started last week. He is 4 (acts more like a 2 yo) and will be starting Kindy this fall. He has his mom wrapped around his finger and arrives here in the morning fake crying so bad. (She was on Mat leave for a year with her baby so he has been with her for a year). As soon as she unbuckles him he starts and does not stop for 1 hour!!! I can't stand it anymore! A real cry I can handle because it breaks my heart but this forced fake stuff is giving me a headache and really annoying all my SA kids while they are trying to get ready for school.

My approach has been. Day 1 - Reassurance and comforting the entire time.
Day 2 - Cuddles and reassurance. Put on his fav TV show to calm him. (Without success)
Day 3 - Cuddle and place him at the table with the other kids who are all having breakfast (And he should be too.)Cried the entire time..fake cried I should say. There is not one tear.
Day 4 - Okay seriously! KNOCK IT OFF!!! (I didn't actually say that but felt it!) My approach today has been ignore and continue on with my morning and the other kids.

I cannot do this every morning and do not have time to coddle a child for an hour during my morning rush to get my SA kids out the door. The most annoying part about it is all of a sudden he just decides to stop instantly and then has a great day.

What would be your approach and how long would you subject yourself and your dcks to this?
Thanks!

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I would continue to ignore him. Sooner or later he will learn that he is getting no attention, and missing out on all the fun you and the other kids are having. Chances are Mom gives into his crying, especially with a new baby in the house, and he has learned that crying gets him what he wants.
Ignore it, and it should stop soon.

[Soupyszoo]

I agree. Keep ignoring him. I would put him a place where he is separate from the others though until he stops. That way everyone else isn't being "punished" having to listen to him scream, including you.

We have a landing in our entry way. I will have kids sit when they fake cry or scream (aka tantrums ) until they stop. Then we talk about it for a sec and then they can go participate. It usually works pretty fast.

[nannyde]

He may not have the energy to real cry non stop so he's geared it down to fake cry just to be putting out energy that brings adult to him.

I would set up an area for him to go lie down when he arrives so that he can get his cry on. You have tried the consulation and it's most likely escalating him instead of calming him down.

I would have him go lie down and let him know that he is a very good crier. Cry here.

Check on him every few minute with a plain face and say "you are a very good crier"

He needs to have the adult react the opposite way he is used to. Instead of an adult jumping to do whatever it takes to get him to stop you are saying "I bless your cry". Cry on........

You can't do too many days of consulation because it comes into their brain as petting their instability. By now he should recognize that the environment is safe, clean, and his basic needs will be met. He needs to be accepting of that without putting out something that makes the environment about him.

He has a right to express his little feelings. He just needs to do that horizontal and away. It's harder to keep it up when you are laying down and not very productive when you don't have an audience.

When he starts say "You cry" ... take him to a lay down area ... then say "you cry here".

rinse and repeat.

Now when he gears it down and it lasts a shorter time you say "you done crying?" with this look: :confused: Okay well let's go play toys. If you need to cry just let me know.

[countrymom]

yup you need a crying spot, when he is done he can join the group. It works too. I had kids who would do this all the time, they would even go on their own when they felt the need for a good cry and then they would come back.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with others.....that is a whole lot of attention he is receiving for such little effort on his part.

If he wants to fake cry, he should be going to the crying spot until he is ready to be a big boy and join the others.

I highly doubt the Kindy teacher is going to pacify this little guy with hugs, cuddles and a favorite TV program.

[Soccermom]

Thanks so much ladies! It is awesome to know that everyone is on the same page about not coddling a new child too much.
I will surely be making a designated cry spot this evening to accomodate him in the morning. That is a great suggestion and not something I have ever thought about before.
Thanks again for the support